Well, medical literature does anyways. I got to thinking about that as I was driving home from Wendy’s with my Double Bacon Greaseball Burger with a side of Cholesterol, and figured I would post and share.
Now, back to the topic at hand. For some reason, I am fascinated by medical stuff, diseases, ailments, all of that stuff. Only problem is that everytime I read the symptoms of these diseases, I always say “Hey, I do that!” or “Hey, I feel like that sometimes!” Usually, it is followed by a “Hmm, I wonder if I have (horrible disease)”
Logic, of course, completely fails me too. Now, this isn’t to say that I cry myself to sleep thinking I have cancer or something, but it ends up more like a few days of a nagging little worry before I find something else to have.
So far I have “had”:
SARS (I had a cold during the outbreak)
Diabetes (Apparently some co-workers gave it to me when I started hearing what kinds of symptoms it had. If I’m tired, I must be diabetic!)
IBS (Same as below)
Crohn’s Disease (My tummy hurts sometimes, I must have it!
Clogged Arteries (Damn Wendy’s! Ignore the fact I am 21 and have normal blood pressure)
Marfan Syndrome (Tall, check. Thin, Check again, Wears glasses? Check. flexible? Well, I barely reach my toes, I must have it since I got three symptoms! Ignore the fact that I come from a family of tall thin people with glasses, with no heart/skeletal/severe eye problems.)
Of course after reading the symptoms and noticing that sometimes I might exhibit one or two of them, I have to read more. Then I find out about the horrible nasty ways in which the disease kills you, ruins your life, eats your children, and doesn’t flush the toilet. Once finding out how horrible it is, I start thinking, “Maybe I have this?”
Why do doctors publish this stuff, drives me nuts. And of course the symptoms mostly consist of fairly normal stuff, if you are 2 lbs overweight, wake up on the left side of the bed on a wednesday, have brown eyes, and you have a toothache, you might have (insert horrible disease).
I think it is some conspiracy on the part of the medical community to make people who are interested in reading this stuff think they are going to die next tuesday because they have (insert horrible disease).
So, who else freaks out after reading about obscure diseases, because they matched up with a couple of symptoms?
