So a new girl started working at my place a couple of months ago. We don’t work in the same department but see each other in the smoking area. She is friendly and chatty, and bums cigarettes from me a fair amount.
Sometimes I pass through her department on my way out and if she sees me, she will come with me. I was ‘OK’ with this- it’s not my place to say when other folks go out to smoke- but it is a little annoying because I prefer to just pop out and back in without anyone else noticing me gone and having a buddy kinda cramps my style a little bit.
But in the last few weeks, this lady turned positively annoying. She would come to my department to bum a smoke and also ask for a ride home. I asked how she usually got to work and she said she rode the bus. On the first ride home, I noted she already had a pack of cigarettes and thought ‘well, maybe she just came and asked for the smoke as an intro to asking for the ride, since that’s all we have in common.’ On the ride home, she also hit me up for a small ‘loan.’ I just gave her 20 bucks and told her to keep it. That may seem like a mistake, but I generally assume loaned money won’t come back and don’t want to stress over a small amount.
But then this scene kept repeating itself. I gave her smokes and rides here and there, but no more ‘loans’ with the exception of one dollar that she said she needed to ride the bus the next morning.
A couple of weeks ago when I was out smoking a different employee there said he had to come out at this particular time to avoid the new employee who has been hitting up coworkers in their department for smokes, rides and loans, and that this new employee has already gotten in trouble for annoying coworkers with her frequent requests. I mentioned that I, too, had been providing this stuff. This guy said ‘Well, I guess she’s just spreading out to other departments since she was told to knock it off in ours. She needs something every week- rent, utilities, cigarettes.’
When I went back to my department and mentioned this at lunch, it turns out that this new girl has been getting these favors from a couple of folks in our department too. I was kinda surprised about it, so we (three of us who had provided stuff) mentioned it to our boss when she came in to the lunch room. It was mentioned more as an oddity than a complaint, I felt.
Now, I’ve been on vacation for over a week now (with another week to go!) and I got a call form the borrowing lady. All employee numbers are in a file so you can look up any number you might need since our two departments often share employees. She asked me if I complained about her to my boss. I lied and said ‘no.’
She told me that she had gotten in trouble and wanted to know if I had anything to do with it and said that she could be fired. She told me she was going to pay me back the money she borrowed and not ask for rides anymore (no mention of the cigarettes- LOL), and asked me to not tell anyone she called me. I did tell a coworker (who is also my best friend out of work) who advised me to stay away from this borrower lady as she has been marked for firing, an opinion based on just years of working at this place.
But, after thinking it over for a day, I called my boss and let him know the borrower lady had called me at home. I dunno- I was annoyed that she called me at home, I was annoyed with myself for lying to her about telling my boss about the whole thing, and I guess I’m annoyed that she’s imposing on folks at work and making things weird and uncomfortable.
But yesterday, I got a conference call from HR. The two people ion the call asked me if and when she called me (they asked me to check for phone for date and time) and what we talked about. I told the truth (even that I lied about telling my boss). They said it sounded like she was fishing around trying to find out who had complained about her, that they had counseled her but had been careful to not use any names, that there had been other complaints, but that during her counseling she had said “It must have been ca3799.” They also said the had told her specifically to keep her counseling session private and to not make contact with anyone about it.
So it appears my reporting the phone call may result in this lady losing her job.
I do feel bad about this.
But I also don’t feel all that responsible. Her problems aren’t my problem. I presume there is more to her behavior that has drawn attention of management than excessive borrowing and I’m sure I’m not the only person who has complained. I mean, who gets canned for simply annoying people with neediness?
But, how big an asshole have I been? I could have “just said no” to any of her requests.
