Last night as I sat on the porch reading I was visited by some skeeters (mosquitoes, to those of you who insist on propriety). SO I whipped out the Off![sup]TM[/sup] and doused myself so that the little bitches would go away. One was slightly more persistent than the others, so I gave her a little dose of Off![sup]TM[/sup] as well. She checked her flight, wobbled a little, and took off into the sunset at high speed.
Then I got to thinking: What did I do to the little lady? I mean, Off![sup]TM[/sup] is sorta designed to make skeeters go away, but she can’t go away from herself, right? So what’s the solution if you’re a poor little skeeter chick who happens to smell like Off![sup]TM[/sup]?
Has her dose of Off![sup]TM[/sup] has relegated her to a life of lonliness and misery. None of the skeeter fellas want to hook up because, well, she smells bad? The skeeter equivalent of being sprayed by a skunk? Today she will descend into a whirlpool of self loathing and suicidal thoughts, finally ending it all by smashing herself into a windshield.
Maybe the chemicals in the Off![sup]TM[/sup] simply destined her for a miserable, painful death?
Or maybe, just maybe, she rushed off to find a nice pool of stagnant water to wash off in? Assuming skeeters wash and care about personal hygeine, that is. If so, then I fear she may be plotting another attack, intent on revenge.
I’m kinda scared to go sit on the porch tonight, whatever the answer. . .