I may have depressed a mosquito.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Last night as I sat on the porch reading I was visited by some skeeters (mosquitoes, to those of you who insist on propriety). SO I whipped out the Off![sup]TM[/sup] and doused myself so that the little bitches would go away. One was slightly more persistent than the others, so I gave her a little dose of Off![sup]TM[/sup] as well. She checked her flight, wobbled a little, and took off into the sunset at high speed.

Then I got to thinking: What did I do to the little lady? I mean, Off![sup]TM[/sup] is sorta designed to make skeeters go away, but she can’t go away from herself, right? So what’s the solution if you’re a poor little skeeter chick who happens to smell like Off![sup]TM[/sup]?

Has her dose of Off![sup]TM[/sup] has relegated her to a life of lonliness and misery. None of the skeeter fellas want to hook up because, well, she smells bad? The skeeter equivalent of being sprayed by a skunk? Today she will descend into a whirlpool of self loathing and suicidal thoughts, finally ending it all by smashing herself into a windshield.

Maybe the chemicals in the Off![sup]TM[/sup] simply destined her for a miserable, painful death?

Or maybe, just maybe, she rushed off to find a nice pool of stagnant water to wash off in? Assuming skeeters wash and care about personal hygeine, that is. If so, then I fear she may be plotting another attack, intent on revenge.

I’m kinda scared to go sit on the porch tonight, whatever the answer. . .

2

She’s plotting her revenge. Be afraid. She is probably injecting herself with a particularly horrid form of malaria and laying in wait for you. I bet she gets into your house, hides in your bathroom and waits until you’re naked in the shower. Then, BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT WHAM! right on the butt.

I suggest you go purchase a suit of armor. :smiley:

3

Not in the shower, though. Nope, if I were you I wouldn’t sit down on the crapper for a good long dump any time soon.

4

Aw geez, now I have to be careful pooping?
Sigh, I already long for the days when I could poop with abandon. . .

5

Well, since antipsychotic drugs are made out of insecticide, perhaps you have un-depressed the mosquito. Off Therapy.

6

Yeah, maybe she’s seen the error of her ways and has become a vegetarian.

I’d buy a bulletproof suit anyway, just in case.

7

You know, I’ve always wondered what would happen to a mosquito if I sprayed bug repellant on it. I have this mental image of the mosquito ending up as a kind of insectoid lepor, shouting “Unclean! Unclean!” everywhere she goes, while cartoonish green Stink Vapors rise from her body.

8

Sometimes putting the little pests out of their misery really IS the best option.

Next time, just give the thing a firm flattening. You’ll feel better about yourself.

9

Why not turn your otherwise useless poop into a decoy? Since it’s carbon dioxide she’s attracted to, you’ll merely need to hyperventilate yourself on it. Just put it into a bag, breathe in and out on it for awile, then you can read with… umm… abandon.

Piece of cake.

10

You may have actually done her a favor and turned her into a mosquito superhero. She’s the bloodsucking insect equivalent of the Invisible Girl.

You should be more careful. Dire things can happen when we begin to muck around with the Natural Order.

11

You know, something doesn’t seem quite right about this … :smiley:

thanks for the laugh !

12

If you look at a skeeter’s schnozz with a magnifying glass, you’ll see tiny hairlike things sticking out. Those are the sensors that lead her to warm-blooded creatures, so she can get a blood meal. The stuff in Off!® screws up those sensors so she can’t find you.

Just a whiff of the vapor is enough to do it temporarily. You sprayed it on directly, so that may have disabled her permanently. If she doesn’t get a blood meal, she’ll never be a mama.

This is no great tragedy. Lots of mosquitoes die without reproducing. They have a short life span, and many don’t find a blood meal. Millions of them die as larvae, by providing food for fish, tadpoles, and birds. Many more are eaten as adults by dragonflies and birds. Still, with their mob strategy for reproduction, there are plenty of survivors that do reproduce. They will always be with us, dammit!

13

Well maybe. But I like Exgineer’s explaination better. After all, everyone knows radiation causes superpowers in humans…

14

When I was a kid and a mosquito bit me, I would pinch the skin around the little critter so it couldn’t pull out.

Just thought I would mention that.

{Scurries back to the corner}

15

Odd, that how my wife got pregnant.

Except she was the one doing the pinching.

16

Now I want to catch one, spray it, and stick it in a jar for observation.

But what if I go to sleep, get up the next day, and the jar is empty?

17

Better be careful who you poop with.
Abandon can be a dangerous companion.