Skeeters!

The BBQ Pit
1

How do I hate thee, let me count the ways…

Flying fucking vermin is what you are, cowards in every sense of the word. Sneaking up on us on silent wings to draw our life’s blood so that you may spawn more of your kind.

You have spoiled our evenings by your presence, you number in the thousands… perhaps millions… and as fast as we crush the life out of you another steps in to take it’s place.

One of your kind found that the joint in my left finger was as good as place as any to launch your assault. How can you know that I am one of the few people on this planet that are allergic to your bites? How can you know that my hand burned for an hour afterwards? You don’t fucking care, you are born without conscience, there is only hunger that must be appeased at any cost.

The weak and helpless are just another meal to you, my daughters cannot step out the door without first bathing in chemicals and still, you find openings. You make them cry and for that I will show no mercy, I will dispense death to your kind at every opportunity.

One would think I was living in Winnipeg… :slight_smile:

2

Ugh, you are so right! This massive infestation we have had all of a sudden sucks weenie big time! I took the garbage out last nite and got chewed.

Luckily, they are saying that the heat we are having should burn the vermin off fairly quickly!

3

Sue… Sooner or later, I WILL make you a bona fide Pit Whore like myself.

Resistance is futile.

4

Feynn, darling, you should come to the Ottawa Valley. We’ve got skeeters the size o’ Toronto ('specially since it’s a megacity!)

I agree, skeeters suck dead donkey dicks… get some citronella and splash it on all your exposed parts - and if you so happen to be one of those that exposes the most sensitive parts (hey, you never know) I would advise against applying the citronella there.

Of course, if you have big evil skeeters, you shouldn’t be exposing the elephant ears and its trunk to the bloodsuckers.

I’m gonna go crawl under my thesis, right about now.

E.

5

Dear God! I hope you don’t mean that literally!

6

Feynn, Sue, I feel your pain. Whydya think I moved South?
The skeeters in Yellowknife have been known to carry away firstborn male sons. I kinda like mine, so I had to leave.
And Feynn, baby, I’m allergic, too.

7

Thanks Ginger, you just had to make my day. I’m heading up to Yellowknife tomorrow morning… Yehaaaaaaaa I haven’t had a good chewing by skitters and black flies in a very long time.

8

My name is Ceejaytee and I am a bug magnet. {Hi, Ceejaytee!} I could be standing in a crowd of people, and every damned mosquito for miles will come and bite me, completely ignoring all the blood-filled people standing next to me. And, yes, I am allergic. My bites blow up into these gigantic hives and I suffer miserably until I take an antihistimine and fall blissfully asleep. There is nothing I hate more than going hiking with my husband and then spending a sleepless night in the tent, desperately trying not to scratch, while my apparently-unattractive-to-bugs husband is sound asleep.

Damn you skeeters!

9

No serious offense, but if citronella is keeping the mosquitos away, then you guys are bitching about nothing. Once you get to the stage where you have to wear long pants and long sleeved shirts and a head net AND apply 100% DEET every 2-4 hours, then get back to me.

10

But don’t you all just marvel at their efficiency of form? Their elegance and precision? These are marvels of evolution! The pinnacle of Dipteradom!

Yeah, I hate the little bastards too :smiley: . And I like damn near every other living critter. Heck, I even have a grudging affection for ticks ( well, sorta :stuck_out_tongue: ) . But mosquitos are a different story. One nailed me in the hand yesterday and I can’t sleep in a room with one - I’ll stay up for hours tracking a single mosquito in my bedroom. Miserable things.

  • Tamerlane
11

My sister and I just returned from a camping trip to the beach. The campground we stay at is quite nice in that there isn’t any standing water nearby for skeeters to breed. However, we decided we have to abandon our favorite ice cream stand because it, in contrast to the campground, does have a vermin problem. It’s strictly takeout, so we can’t even sit inside and enjoy our sundaes without getting devoured. Fuckers.

12

Another “allergic to skeeters” person checking in.

I just want to have one summer without having to invest a good chunk of money in spray-on Benadryl. [sub]It’s that or scratch the skin off[/sub]

Death to skeeters!

13

Local rumor has it that thanks to the huge nuclear plant of doom nearby, we have MUTANT skeeters. I believe it. What else could possibly explain the half-dollar sized welts I get if I walk outside?

And why do I have this feeling that Somebody out there is laughing at me as I constantly itch from about May until early October? I think it’s a giant horrible itchy tormenting cosmic joke, I really do.

14

:open_mouth:
What the HELL for?

15

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth *
**
[QUOTE:O
What the HELL for? **[/QUOTE]

Family emergency. Do you think I’d go up there and get chewed just for pleasure? :wink:

16

Just want to weigh in on the side of the mightily allergic-I am too. And apparently I resemble a five course gourmet meal to the bloodsuckers.

How wonderful I thought, naively, earlier this summer when we received so much rainfall. The drought’s gone away, hurray! My garden was lush and verdant, filled with tasty produce. But there is a price to be paid, alas. Each time I venture forth to harvest the fruit of my labors I get nailed by a bug. Bitten that is. Despite long pants, long sleeves and a gallon of DEET. Damn things bit me on my face last time.

Down with mosquitoes I say!

17

Silent? Oh, I wish!

There’s nothing more fearsome than the sound of an approaching skeeter in the dark… in a tent… lurking… weaving closer and closer to your tender, exposed skin… floating in with a steely whine near your ear before descending for a taste of you…

… except maybe the sound of a billion trillion skeeters hovering in the dark outside the tent, freshly spawned in the woods and lakes of northern Saskatchewan especially for you.

Aaaaaeeeeeeiiiii!!!

18

The little bastards hate me. They know when I’ll be there, when I’ll be there, and they lie in wait for me. But it’s only the MINNESOTA bastards.

Think I’m joking?

During Christmas, I took leave from A-school in Pensacola, FL, and flew home. When I hit the Mpls airport it was -26F with a -82F windchill. Got home, chatted a bit (it was late), went upstairs to bed, curled up with the kitty, started falling asleep, and …

zzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It was December. In Minnesota!!! And that little bastard was lying in wait for me, cos she knew I’d be back. Bitch.

Not proof enough? How about this?

Drove from P-cola to LA to SD to SF to OR to the Black Hills (to take in Mount Rushmore and meet up with family). Took a slow drive across SD. Twenty miles from the MN border the family and I stopped for supper and sis decided to catch a ride back home with me from there. Ten miles into MN sis had to pee so we stopped. While I waited there, with my windows open…Yup. You guessed it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Only this time the bitch BIT me!!!

Go to Thursday night softball, where I try to poison my blood with beer and nicotine, and get divebombed.

Lived 15 minutes from the Everglades (the Everglades for pity’s sake, where people supposedly DIE from mosquitoe bites) for three years and got bit ONCE. It was on the elbow and the bite swelled up to the height of three dimes (yes, I measured :wink: ). Never itched, never bothered me…within 12 hours it was like I had never been bit. But the little bastards around here? The ones who can go thorough window screens (as opposed to the big bastards who can actually open screen doors)? I swell up for days, scab for weeks (cos I scratch at night when I don’t realize I’m scratching) and wake up with blood on the sheets.

:mad:

[sub]Wishes she had a scan of the sign at the Mississippi Headwaters that includes a bit from H. Schoolcraft’s diary and his bitches about the “nefarious moskeetoe”.[/sub]

19

Skeeter have always loved Houston, but ever since the flood, those bastards have been doing drive bys. Sometimes a few hundred thousand of them get together and jack some poor sucker’s car.

20

Wimps :smiley:

Up in Northern Quebec, we have to hunt 'skeeters with 12-gauge.

But seriously, when I was working in the bush in the early '80s, I could tell time according to the bug that bit me :
7:00 AM-9:00 AM, mosquitoes,
9:00 AM-12:00 PM, black flies,
10:00 AM-2:00 PM,frappe-à-barres (sorry, don’t know the English name, these buggers look like houseflies, and bite like hell, they used to bite me through my army field jacket :eek: ),
11:00 AM-1:00 PM, deer flies,
2:00 PM-4:00 PM, return of the black flies.

So don’t talk to me about 'skeeters, there are much worse bugs out there.