I might be leaving...

The BBQ Pit
101

I have to laugh.

I have noticed I_Dig_Beinga_Bigot’s post lately whining about the white trash and immigrants.

I figured there must be some reason for he constant spewing. Bitches constantly about her job, her life, her prejudices.

Here is a person working for minimum wage under an immigrant, has a boyfriend with a mullet, grows weeds in her yard and calls them “flowers”, and shops in a ghetto store in a small town.

Damn, them ghettos are really spreading…used to be an urban problem.

I resisted the temptation to blast her ass since this “white trash and immigrant” thread was in GQ.

It still amazes me that after her last dissertation on bigotry she would just ramble on into GQ with the same lame ass bullshit.

Like the criminal who charges the cop, acting like a beer bottle is a pistol, trying to commit “suicide by police”, so charges I_Dig_Beinga_Bigot once more, into the breech.

So as a white trash redneck, I bid you adieu on behalf of all the spics, waps, niggers, faggots, dykes, kikes, japs, beaners, sand niggers, browns, dagos, chinks, slopes, wetbacks…
…people who, while maybe not meeting your level of acceptance are people just the same. Who wouldn’t mind it too much if they could be treated like people.

You won’t be missed nearly as much as you thought you might be.

102

Bambi I am sure it was an innocent mistake…Besides, her past work on here could confuse anyone.

< grin >

103

Wow, that’s awesome of you Bambi. Way to own up to a mistake.

Very cool.

104

Good God Man - this girl can’t even commit to eating a ham sandwich. Give me a break.

IDBB - get a life. Or not.

105

It’s too bad too you couldn’t have said that in the thread where I criticized you for prematurely closing one of her earlier threads.

While at the time, my displeasure had less to do with IDBB and her topic, and more to do with what I thought was an unneeded closure, had I known what is known now, I doubt I’d have been as aggressive as I was towards your actions as I was.

For that, I offer my sincerest apologies Coldfire. Honest.

It reminds of me of my college years when a guy wanted to set up and get funding for a white student union within the greater student union. At the time, every group, and I mean every group had it’s own union represented in the greater union.

While the issue itself was an interesting one to explore, or so I thought, in the ‘who decides who can and can’t have a union around here’ kind of way, it totally blew when it was revealed the guy was a neo-nazi white supremacist.

It kinda halted all further discussion on that topic.

One of the disadvantages of not being around here much anymore is not knowing all the ins and outs on who’s doing and saying what all over the place. Kind of figures the gal would turn out to be a major wanker.

Thanks alot IDBB.

106

Jesus, she really IS Jean Teasdale. Especially when she talks about her wild night at Joe’s Crab Shack.

I’m gonna have to figure out a way to Photoshop JT’s pic to make her look more goth. This is great stuff.

107

I’ve been waiting for this since she ranted about people giving her trouble for being “goth.” And trying to force her to have kids. And all of her customer service rants. And the ones where her man wouldn’t LET her go to college.

<selfish>People who told me to lay off? Fuckya.</selfish>

I do admire her self-restraint in NOT posting any replies to this thread, unlike everyone else who’s posted an “I’M LEAVING!” thread. However, it warms the cockles (and ballsles) of my heart to know that somewhere in Texas there is a childless-by-choice-neo-goth retail worker who is being forced to refrain from completing college by the not-a-bad-boy she’s with who is reading every post in here with freshened blooms of ego at the response, while she’s NOT working at the latest of a string of dead-end retail jobs in which she’s bossed by people who are not as good as her and forced to wait on people who are even worse than that.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…the American Dream. Each American’s right to be as fucking asinine, stupid, boring, repetetive, and irritating as they like, as long as they don’t break any laws in the process.

That’ll do, pig; that’ll do.

<violins swell…cellos kick in…crescendo aaaaand…CLIMAX!>

108

I haven’t read the thread, just the OP. But wanted to comment to and for IDBB.

Personally I wouldn’t want to see you go. I think you’ve got great potential. As I’ve said in some of your other threads though…

Sweetie? I think (and I’m a mom, twice over, so I know!! rollie eyes@ myself!!), that what you really need to do is some really deep down soul searching.

If I remember, you’re about 23 right? And you’ve grown up in a smalltown type atmosphere? Sort of a “redneck-ey” one? And you only have a high school education, and little travel, or experience with “the world”?

Despite the anger and name-calling of some of the other dopers, I do NOT see a “bigot” or a “racist”. What I see is a young woman who is unsure about HERSELF and her place in life. And holding a series of sucky jobs isn’t helping. On ANY front. And what I see is that THAT is where the bigoted and racist comments are coming from. True ignorance and having been sheltered. NOT from callousness or actual racism and bigotry.

Some of your rants are part “I hate this and need someone to rant too” (and rightly so, some of the stuff you deal with IS sucky). And part of the rants is pure “I would like attention”.

Trouble is, you don’t have a whole lot of “stuff” with which to post, other than your own sucky life, to GET “good attention”. You hate it, and you’re both bored and unhappy with what life has handed you, so you rant. Kind of like the “soggy potato chip” syndrome. Bad attention is better than no attention at all.

Unfortunately, your rants are limited to what you know, that of your small town life, and your awful jobs. And that’s likely to not only NOT interest your fellow dopers, but to annoy many of them!!

I think, that if you can find what you need to rise ABOVE all that, that underneath it all you’ve got “good bones” (as they say in the decorating business :D).

I don’t think your thoughtless remarks are indicative of true bigotry or racism. They come OUT that way thanks in part to the harshness of how type looks, and in part because you aren’t really thinking OUT what it is you want to say.

My dad used to say something to me whenever I’d been a brat.

“It takes a big man to admit he’s wrong”. As a teen, of course I’d think “MAN??” I’m a girl"!! but you get the point right???

If this board is about fighting ignorance, then those who’ve been cranky with you about your past actions, will HAVE to, as a matter of course following the “true” SDMB spirit, help you along, and forget about your past transgressions. But you have to do YOUR part, and work to become informed, interesting and NOT “ignorant”.

I hope you don’t mind my “momming in”, but if I were you? I’d go ahead and just “lurk”. Watch how others interact, argue, debate etc. I’d read some of the front page stuff, and even research it and find out more. (my personal favorite was the skinner ref. I hadn’t read about him in years, since college in the cough80scoughcough).

Broaden your horizons. Stop posting so many rants, and post in General Questions instead, and WHEN you ask questions in that forum, or post there, look to see how much you can learn, about life, relationships, the work-a-day world etc.

My dad had another old saying (I think he got this one from Mark Twain or someone, and he was full of them :D), “you have two ears and only one mouth, so you should be able to hear twice as much as you say”.

I don’t think you’re “bad” I just think you’ve gone off into the ditch and you need to get unstuck and kindof learn a bit about life out in the big world.

Sweetie? It’s up to you. I’m pulling for you.

109

Although, of course that song uses the phrase ‘ghetto store’, which suggests that said phrase has enough meaning to appear in a song! And, of course #2, last time I checked the web wasn’t the final arbiter of what phrases exist out there in the Real World. Indeed, the phase ‘ghetto gear’ also exists out there in the area this side of your CRT, not to mention ‘ghetto blaster’, and maybe a bunch more. Still, it’s nice to see that the PC bus is rolling along nicely, though never through the ghetto.

BfT.

110

I just read the Livejournal, for Aug 18th, and asshole piece of shit or not, that read bummed me out a little. She seems very isolated with no one to turn to or to talk to. I guess she brought it on herself with some stupid comments, but for some reason I still feel sorry for her.

I worry that people who start to think they have no friends or the world doesn’t care about having them around, tend to comtemplate some bad solutions to their problems.

I hope this isn’t the case.

111

Alternately, the song may have spawned the phrase’s use outside of it; IIRC, “bling bling” started in a song - though I may be mistaken there.

And just because a phrase exists doesn’t mean it’s perfectly fine to use it, or that tagging a response with the label “PC” means no one has the right to have hurt feelings.

112

Yes, I read some of it too. I think people are harshly judging her. Do they realize that she’s both very young AND has grown up without a whole lot of education and experience?

I’m not saying that that excuses her obvious mistakes. ( IDBB, sorry to talk about you as if you aren’t here).

Maybe she’s 23, and sure, LOTS of 23 year olds are a lot more world savvy, “with it,” and mature than she is. But if she never got the type of education she needed (meaning socialization, or “Miss Manners how to act in public etc” type education) then at this late date, especially if she’s isolated and without many resources, she’s going to have a hard time both correcting her shortcomings, AND admitting them.

Aren’t we supposed to be fighting ignorance? This person, while she may be in her 20s, is a CHILD where the world is concerned.

Yes, she’s a challenge, and she’s stubborn about admitting and seeing her shortcomings. Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but in THIS area (human relations and psychology), I’m not half-bad either (got some training and teaching behind me, and then there’s the mom thing :D).

I think this girl could come out of this a better person.

Unlike “real” trolls, in this doper there’s a young lady fighting for her identity. (where do you think all the “look at me” I’m a goth, no I’m redneck, etc etc self promoting, but yet identity confused crap comes from?).

Her insults and actions are TEXTBOOK attention getting “soggy potato chip” syndrome tactics, NOT true bigotry.

I’m surprised that so many dopers in this thread, (those that I admire for their utmost brilliance in so many subjects), can’t SEE this!!!

YES, it’s just as obnoxious, insulting and offensive as if it were “real” bigotry. The motive isn’t that she truly feels “brown people” are beneath her. Again, her acitons and words are classic, textbook zero self-esteem motivated.

Anyway, not trying to worsen the trainwreck, but IMHO, in this instance, kicking this poor girl all the way out the door, might not be the “right” solution.

113

I’m totally with you Canvas.

114

CS (quite brilliant post eaten by the fucking rodents) - dunno if you meant me as well, but -

For me, I bowed out when it was clear (to me) that regardless of the viable, good advice she was getting about how to make her life suck less, she would only hear the very tiny part of it that conformed w/her world view.

From my (relatively vast) personal/professional experience w/ “folks who don’t want to listen”, after your first forays into it, when all you get is either “yea buts” or totally misunderstandings (like “you should learn the prominate second language in your area and likely be able to get a less sucky job” getting the response that ‘you may as well admit it, {paraphrase} white folks are gonna be the minority’), further attempts to be sympathetic will be similarly translated into her world view and only serve to prove to her that she’s right, that none of this is her fault.

She may, years from now, remember some of this advice and smack herself in the head with wonderment and awe at how she could have been so blind,

or not.

either way, further attempts to get through, IMHO wastes time, and only serves to enable her to continue believing what she wants to in the first place.

115

What’s the “prominate second language”?

116

Spanish. She lives in Texas.

117

No, I wasn’t pointing anyone specific, I just meant in general. And I wasn’t really saying “gee you mean people” or that I thought she needed another pat on the head.

This is a textbook reaction of many people in her same situation. In fact, it’s a very normal HUMAN reaction to being in her situation. Just look at many of the arguments/debates here on the dope for reference! It IS difficult to step back and say “I was wrong, what should I do”?? Or “teach me, you’re more knowledgeable in ‘X’ than I am”.

Most of the older, established dopers (and others of similar maturity on other boards) can do this because of age, life experience, and having learned the proper social niceties.

IDBB hasn’t. In addition she’s young, seems immature for her age, and obviously didn’t have the benefit of good social conditioning.

Feelings and reactions regarding admitting one is wrong run the gamut from uncomfortable/embarrasing to excrutiaiting and near impossible. And interestingly, the lower down in the food chain they are, the harder it might be for those people to admit that they’re wrong.

And that might be true for a number of reasons, though one would think that those well off and with “more to lose” so to speak might be more likely to fight it. Many times, what is at play is that these people are SO beaten down that admitting wrong (even if it’s to US as simple as merely following some advice as to how to get out of their ugly situation), is akin to further admitting how worthless they are.

No, it doesn’t make sense. Much that happens in the human psyche doesn’t.

To preserve the tiny shreds of near non-existant self worth and dignity they have, many times people will fight change as it seems just another way that people are telling them “you’re not good enough”.

Have you ever made up corn starch to use in gravy?? You mix it up with cold water. The harder you stir it, the stiffer it gets, but when you stop stirring it liquifies again.

Trying to get some people who are feeling this way to “see reason” as WE see it (in other words, coming down on them like a ton of bricks, as is frequently done with IDBB) can cause them to “fight harder” and stiffen up.

In a related way, they can also look at advice given in a “yeah, but that won’t work for me” way. (just as IDBB does).

When a person is that far down, and that far removed from reality and is isolated to boot, things can seem “blown out of proportion” unattainable. Even something as simple as making a phone call to find out about student aide.

People who already feel that they are worthless are going to have a hard time many times merely picking up a phone and asking for information, because they feel (in the words of Mike Meyer) “I’m not worthy”.

They fear defeat before they even try. They can struggle with this for a long time before they can overcome the fear of being looked down upon. They’re intimidated by the situation way of of the norm. Most of us, especially those who’ve been in the work-a-day world for 20 or so years, don’t even blink an eye at a phone call requresting information for our benefit. To someone with severe self-esteem issues, it’s like asking them to go take that steak bone away from the “nice” rottweiler.

WE know it’s not like that, but their emotional state has them fearing it is.

As you said, some of them may take a lifetime and then wake up going “OMY GOSH, why didn’t I try when I had the youth/energy/time/etc to do it”???

And some, with enough prodding, and being led, can finally break out and take that first step.

Perhaps, or maybe not, either way, at this point I have the time. My job frequently offers me time periods where I am just answering phones and twiddling my thumbs.

And others who don’t “have the time to waste” HAVE the choice not to post to her threads.

118

:confused: What’s “soggy potato chip” syndrome?

119

“HELP!!! DRY ME OUT, I LONG TO BE TASTY AND CRUNCHY AGAIN”

Classic cry for help.

120

Huh. Interesting. Is this term a SDMB thing or does it come form the larger culture?