I need a bigger butt.

I went out riding my bicycle this past weekend. I do this fairly often, but not regularly or anything. There are a few observations I’d like to share.

First, there are a few muscles in your thigh whose only function is to pedal a bicycle. It takes me about a mile to get them to quit burning like a hot poker is just under the skin.

Also, there are a lot of fun things to look at when you are just going up and down streets and roads. Once I went out to the construction site where they are building a “OpryLand Texas” or some such monstrosity. It was cool to ride around close to the construction. I followed a set of truck tracks around the side of the lake. I figured unless I met the truck coming back, there must be a way out.

People put a lot of funny thing in their yards. I saw lots of concrete duck, geese, and pigs with straw hats. The pigs that is, but now that I think about it, maybe some geese had straw hats too. There were also some cool sculptures, though.

I also visited a place called “Scoop in Time”. It’s an old fashion soda fountain on Main Street. I’m fairly sure it’s the only place in the area with peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches on the menu.

Riding is very addictive to me. I try to end up back home before I tire out. However, I usually end up wanting to ride some more. After a couple of hours, I ended up back home, but shortly took off again. … The before mentioned muscles protested and after another hour really were ready to call it quits.

Now building the muscles up isn’t a big deal, just need to ride more often. However, the real reason to finally stop was that my butt hurt too bad to set on the seat any more. These are the same spots that hurt from riding a horse. I know every horse, saddle, and bicycle seat isn’t designed wrong.

I need a bigger butt!


giggles almost falls out of my chair laughing out loud

I’m glad you enjoy bike riding so much, my friend. And may I just say that I think you need to get a more padded bike seat? Because after all, having met you many times in person, I happen to think your tush is quite cute, just the way it is. :wink:

Besides, having more padding on your tush, or a bigger tush, doesn’t necessarily help that, as I’ve learned all too well from my own experiences. :stuck_out_tongue:

Dial 1-800-MIX-A-LOT and shake that healthy butt!

Your butt gets used to it after a few times.

Lord Jim,
Your diminutive duff (band name) is not the real issue here!

All I can say is :eek: and :eek: ! Wasn’t the World’s Most Giganticest Mall enough of an insult to Grapevine traffic? I may never (be able to) travel north of the airport again.

Apparently not. But just wait, we are also in the top 4 to have the Cowboys stadium move out here, plus their training facility. We already have their golf course. There is no end to what they’ll do to the sleepy little town I moved into 20 years ago.

Dr. Lao, that’s good to know. Does that mean I have to ride more?

Snoooooooooooooopy, I’ve got the number. I’ll call tomorrow.

Purrplebear, glad you like my tush. Doesn’t help much after a long bike ride unless…
[sub]Nevermind, you are a married lady[/sub]


Yeah, assuming you have a reasonable quality saddle, it should only take a half a dozen rides or so to build up a resistance. I remember when I started riding regularly at the beginning of summer. I thought there was no way I could go everyday, my butt was so sore afterward and into the next day. Now I can go for two hours and not even notice it.

Get a good plastic surgeon and I will gladly let you have some of mine. :smiley:

Are you allowed to make offers like that on the Internet? I mean, “You can have some of my ass.” would get you arrested where I live!




You could get some butt implants.

Personally, I’m waiting until they come up with belly implants. The miracles of science will one day offer us skinny fellers a big, bulging beer gut without all the tedium of drinking beer!

All you skinny people are going to wind up fat anyway. Surrender now!

LolaBaby, I’d love to have a piece of ass from you.
[sub]Wait, what were we talking about?[/sub]

Jackalope, I like the Jennifer Lopez butt, on her, not me.

Do these implants make my butt look big?

Oh? Now, now, you can’t leave me hanging like this? pout Do tell.

Pleeeeease??? batting my eyelashes in a hopefully becoming manner, only to end up with a loose lash getting stuck and one eye starting to water and blinking spastically [sub] mutters darkly to self…<one of these days I’ll get this right…>[/sub]

I mean, this is just for discussion, right? Just for friendship’s sake. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the reason.
:wink: :stuck_out_tongue:

LolaBaby, that was priceless. Wish I’d thought that up myself first. Even if Tris doesn’t think it’s appropo. :wink:

tries to imagine Jim with JLo’s tush fails utterly Nah. Stick with what you have, hon. Guys should have masculine tushes anyway. giggles

Cal, not in the slightest. You look mahvelous, darlin’. Simply mahvelous. smooch