As many of you know, I have recently divorced. My Ex got the house and the dogs. Bear is a sweetheart, no problems there. X loves Bear. Why not? Bear is easy. It’s when things get hard that she balks. :rolleyes: Then there is Raven. Raven is a Black Lab/Border Collie mix. He is…a fantastic dog. He is, without a doubt, the most loving dog I have ever met. Unfortunately, he was a stray that I took in about 5 years ago. From his stray time he has 2 problems. #1, when you take him out, it’s gotta be on a leash. If he’s not in a fenced in area, he runs. It’s funny, when you catch up to him, he always has this look on his face like “Glad to see you! Isn’t this fun?” and he’ll come happily with you. #2 is perhaps more serious, and the reason for my distress. Raven has to be shown his place. If you establish that you’re #1, he accepts it, and will ALWAYS act accordingly. For 5 years, he knew I was the alpha dog. We had no problems. When he got boisterous, all I had to do was remind him I was the alpha dog. He spent all his time loving me after that. Now, aparently, Mr. Wonderful, my X’s new SO ( moved in 2 weeks after she told me that working on our marriage wasn’t gonna work.:rolleyes: :rolleyes: ) can’t cut the mustard. X told me " Raven jumped out at me!! " If she had just smacked his nose, there would be no problem. But nooooooo, now she wants to get rid of him. She placed an ad in the paper. " He’s gone to the first person who wants him"
I am distressed! I live in an apartment. No dogs are allowed. I would take him in a heartbeat if I could, but I can’t. I am hoping to find one of two things here. #1 a family that is willing to take the dog. People who I KNOW will give him the love and companionship he deserves. He’ll give it back to you in spades! #2 In 6-8 months, I will prolly be buying a house. Once I have that, Raven has a home. Anyone who can put him up for that long would be a Godsend, although I realize that you may not want to give him up then. If it’s a good home, so be it. I Don’t want my dog wandering off with god knows who, tho. He was beaten before I found him. He can’t be again. I’ll take or ship him anywhere in the USA. Can anyone help? Please?
Dude, that sucks. I really wanted to come in here and say you have no commitment to your dog; obviously, that is not the case. My best advice is to board him… yeah it’s X dollars a day or you could move. Those are really your choices… hon, if I could take him I would. My dog is my kid. My hairy, bowlegged, little girl… and I’ve had her for almost six years; I’d die before I gave her up so I know exactly where you are coming from. I really hope you can board him or find a temp home… I just wish it could be mine.
Let me know how it goes, hon, and I really do, heart in hand, honor bright, feel for you.
Weirddave, I can’t take Raven, but I have some suggestions.
Call your local rescue orgs. I realize he’s a mix, but even so, you may be able to get help either from a Lab or a BC breed rescue, or an all-breed rescue. Tell them that you are looking for a foster home to care for your dog until you can take him back in 8 months (or whenever, but whatever time you give, you have to abide by that). Tell them that you will pay for food, etc., and that you are desperate. Eight months is a long time, but you may be able to find someone who will do it.
Join the Lab-l and Border Collie email lists, and maybe rescue-l too. (Check the rules, though, first, to make sure that these kinds of posts are allowed.) Tell them the whole story: dog a rescue, recent divorce, ex-wife is now threatening to give the dog away. Believe me, they have heard it before. Explain you will ship the dog anywhere, that you love him and you WILL be taking him back, you will pay for his food and medical care, you just need a foster home for him. Or, if you can’t get that, a loving adoptive home. Those people have big hearts, and they love dogs; they also may be able to help.
What Byzantine suggested - boarding Raven - may not be feasible for the whole eight months. Boarding in our area is $25/day, and I know we couldn’t do that for eight months. But it may be worthwhile to board him for a short period, to give you a chance to work on other options. You may even be able to board him long enough to move to a new apartment, one that allows pets. (I know, it would be hard. But it may be possible; it’s worth a look anyway.)
If all else fails, do not let your ex give him to the first caller. There is - I don’t want to distress you, but I think you need to know this - a small chance that the first caller could be someone who sells dogs to labs. There have been several widely publicized (and prosecuted) cases of this. It apparently does happen (though I have always had a hard time believing it), and the people who do it often do look for ‘free to good home’ ads. If you cannot find a home for Raven, take him to a breed rescue (if he’s Labby enough or BC enough to qualify) or to an all-breed rescue, if you can - some rescues won’t take owner surrenders. If you need help finding all the rescues in your area, email me and I will find them. I can also direct you to some other sources of information on finding a new home for your dog.
I’m sorry, I wish I could be more help. I would offer to take him if I could, but we have a very alpha male dog, and we just can’t have another alpha in the house for such a long period.
But I feel for you. I really do. Please let us know how this works out.
I’m in Canada and since I train dogs, I have no room for a boarder right now…
But, the rescue suggestions are good ones. So are suggestions of boarding. A good boarding kennel may be able to help you. You may also advertise for a “foster home”, and look for a kind soul willing to take the dog in for 6-8 months.
Otherwise, you may wish to talk to your vet or local trainers. They may know someone with a kennel who could help you out.
Damn…I’m such a sucker, I’d take him in until you get a house, since I do foster/rescue anyway…but I’m moving out of state in two months with my dogs & 3 cats, to five currently unfenced acres.
I think Elenfair’s ideas are good. Can you put him in a kennel for a short while while you network like crazy to find a temporary home? Rescue organizations tend to be overwhelmed with dogs in need, but they may be a place to start. Canvass everyone you know & work with. You might try your local Humane Society too for ideas.
In addition to the kennel idea, can you check into “doggie daycares?” That’s where we send our dog. It’s not a kennel, it’s a farm with a fenced acre, owned by people who are dog nuts. They take some dogs overnight, too. When we take our dog to a kennel, he comes home traumatized and freaked out from being locked in a cage around other barking dogs, only seeing a person for a few minutes a day. When we take our dog to doggie daycare, he comes home happy and exhausted, having played with other dogs all day and torn around outside like a maniac.
Our doggie daycare takes some dogs longer-term. I think they’ve pretty much adopted one of our dog’s best buddies, due to some issues with chewing and separation anxiety at his owner’s house.
If you do talk to rescues, make it absolutely clear to them that you’re looking for advice and help and resources, not a
“place to dump your dog.” It may take a little convincing, because they have heard it all and get to deal with some of the world’s most irresponsible pet owners. But you may able able to get information out of them that’s real helpful, even if they can’t help by taking your dog–Like what kennels DO take dogs longer-term and do a good job of it (they may know because when they run out of foster homes, this is their solution).
You could also place an ad in the paper and at pet stores explaining your situation. It’s entirely possible there is someone out there who wants a dog but not permanently, due to moving, future plans, etc. They might be dying to love a dog but have been putting it off because they know they can’t have one long-term right now. You may be exactly who they are looking for.
Damnit. I wish I could help. I love dogs. Hell, my family loves 'em. Otherwise we wouldn’t currently have 3:-)
But we’ve got three dogs and six people living in this house, and two of them can’t be unrestrained together in the same zip code or they’ll go at eachother and possibly permanent injury will result.
I’ll ask tomorrow at work, and see if there’s any interest.
Geez, Dave, I can’t imagine why your X can’t get along with the dog - she sounds like a real bitch to me!
Go get the dog and board him now. That will get him away from that heartless harridan and give us time to find a home for him. Plus, it will make you feel better knowing Raven is safe.
Have you considered a talk with your landlord? Years ago, I was moving to a new town and found the perfect apartment - perfect except for one problem, a no pet policy. I went to the manager and explained that I really wanted the apt but giving up my cat was not an option. Fortunately for me, the manager was an animal lover. I paid an additional security deposit plus an extra 10 bucks a month rent, but I got to keep my cat. (I also had to promise not to let the other tenants know about the deal.) It’s just possible your landlord might be willing to work something out, especially if it’s a temporary situation and there is cash involved.
Keep your chin up, Dave! Meanwhile, I’ll have a stab at convincing Mr.Mayo and current cat lord of the household, Pumpkin, that what we really need is a dog!
Dave, I’d love to do it, but like others here, I already have pets. 2 cats and a dog. We have no room for a dog that size, I’m sorry to say. I would talk to my MIL, but she’s got a dog, and that’s about all she can handle at her age. I really, really hope you can find a solution. I like the ideas of fostering and checking with those agencies, surely one of them can help you out. And, do check with your landlord, on a temporary basis, they just might allow Raven. Even a week to give you time to find another option would be a help. Good luck, and please let us know what happens. Go, get him tonight. Board him if you have to for a few days. As asemayo said, we’ll find a solution for this.
I’ll refrain from commenting on your ex’s attitude.
I had no takers. I’d do it myself but I have quite a handful right now with a new baby. Plus we had a black lab live with us for 6 mos. last year and it almost killed us to give him up and I don’t know if I could do it again.
Best of luck.
I forgot who said this but ask your landlord. I had a hell of a time finding an apt some time ago, but I found that a lot of people were happy to take an extra month security deposit to accomodate the dog.
Where do you live? I might be able to take him for a few months, but I have one dog who is very defensive aggressive after being attacked by an Akita 3 years ago so he has to be 'properly introduced" to new dogs and even then he can be a little twitchy at first. My other pup is tiny Min Pin who knows she’s tiny and is intimidated by other dogs. People are fine for her, dogs, not so much. She was abused and neglected. Go figure.
But, my heart goes out to you. When I got divorced, I had to find homes for my two black labs, and I cried more about them than my X. My dogs are the loves of my life and I know how you feel. I’m happy to provide a temporary basis if I can.
