I need help finding a quote

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am presently working on the birth announcements for my daughter. I make my own via computer and printer to make it more personal.

At one time I had the perfect quote by Dave Barry, from " Babies and other Hazards of Sex" but the damn book has gone walkabout in the chaos of my house.

It goes something like this:

How to get the baby to sleep.

Situation: The baby is crying.
Dad:What’s wrong with it. ( pass the baby)
Mom: I don’t know. Maybe she’s wet. (pass the baby.)
Dad: Maybe she’s hungry. (Pass the baby)
Mom: Maybe she has gas (pass the baby.)

Repeat until baby falls asleep from exhaustion.

(Something along those lines.) I’ve actually gone to the local bookstore to check on this, but this is one of Barry’s older books and not on the shelves of my local Borders.

I am also open for other funny suggestions for quotes regarding children.

2

quote:
“Your major job is to keep your baby in Mood Three as much as possible. Here is the traditional way to do this. When the baby starts to cry, the two of you should pass it back and forth repeatedly and recite these words in unison:“Do you suppose he’s hungry? He can be hungry. he just ate. Maybe he needs to be burped. No, that’s not it. Maybe his diaper needs to be changed. No, it’s dry. What could be wrong? Do you think maybe he’s hungry?” And so on, until the baby can’t stand it any more and decides to go to sleep.”

(From Dave Barry’s Guide to Life" (a compilation), pp. 134.

3

Baby: an alimentary canal with a loud noise at one end and no control over the other.

4

Thanks MK, you are a life saver ( or perhaps a tic tac :slight_smile: ) That is exactly the quote and I’ve been wracking my poor little head trying to find it.