I need help washing my armpits.

After a hard day’s work, I like to wash my face and . . the pits. Here’s how I do it, and why I need a new method:

  1. After removing my sweaty, smelly shirt I run a wash rag under a spigot running warm water.
  2. I rub soap into the rag.
  3. I rub the soapy rag on said area to be cleansed.
  4. Water and soap begin to run down the side of my torso all over my pants, and the floor.:frowning:
  5. I run the rag under the spigot again to remove the soap, but I only squeeze the rag a little bit…
  6. I rub the washrag on said area to remove the soap and rinse it.
  7. More water runs down my body, creating a real wet mess.:rolleyes:
  8. I run a towel over said area, and proceed with my life, after almost slipping on the wet floor!!!:mad:

There has GOT to be a better way!!! Anyone have a quick, clean and less messy way of doing this??? It’s really important that I know this . . .thanks!!!

Well the first procedure that comes to mind is:

  1. Remove other clothing.
  2. Turn on shower.
  3. Shower as usual for a minute or two.
  4. Dry off and resume desired clothing.

Is there some reason this isn’t an option?

  1. take off clothes
  2. turn on shower
  3. say Hi to Opal
  4. wash yourself in the shower

If your pits are smelly chances are other body parts are too. I am a two shower a day person in the summer, one in the morning, one before I go to bed. It only takes a few minutes to do a “rinse off, quickie” shower.

Why is this a brain teaser?

Take . a . shower Peppi Le Pew.

Really. If your pits smell, your balls certainly do.
You get frequent blow jobs from your wife? I thought not.

Sorry but the thread title mislead me… I thought you were asking for someone to help you… literally…
I just called to say that I’m not available for such work currently… I have a busy schedule doing other things.
I’ll call back if my circumstances change.

I appreciate the offer.

As for the rest of my body parts, I’m talking about a situation where I need a quick freshen up, and then have to get out the door. I really don’t have the time to wait for the shower to get hot, towel dry my whole body, and get going. SOOO . . .I’m looking for a shortcut!

Remove shirt. Wrap bath towel around waist tightly. Clean yourself. Towel will keep dripping water from getting trousers wet.

P.S. Remember to remove towel before going out on the town.

At the risk of sending this over to GQ with an actual answer :), I’ll suggest that you’re just using too much water. A quick “bird bath” (as my grandmother used to call them) can be accomplished easily without leaving the floor soaked. After you’ve soaped it up, wring out the washcloth until it’s just damp, then proceed through to the rinse cycle and again wring it out until just damp. Admittedly, you’ll probably be looking at taking a little longer since you’ll likely wind up having to lather up again to finish washing and then rinse and wring again to finish rinsing yourself.

Another option would be to wrap a towel around your waist (or tuck it into your pants all the way around) so as to catch all the excess water.

Hope this helps.

Great minds!

or, consider using a waterless soap–the sanitizer kind.

Basically, all you need to do is to kill the bacteria. You could keep this stuff (available in a tube) at work and use as needed.

How about a couple of Handi-Wipes, one for each pit, followed by a fresh application of Right Guard? You might also take the added precaution of standing downwind.

A bunch of us were on a ski trip. We decided to go to the chalet right afterward. One of the girls said she wanted to go back to the hotel first for a “PTA bath.”

When I asked what it was, she said, “Pits, teats, and ass.”

Would she have been Miss Manners?

One day my dad went to pick my great-grandmother up for a little family party. Whilest in the car she mentions to him that she did not have time to take a shower, so she did a “PAP”. Dad had no idea what that was, so my dear, sweet, 97-year old great-grandmother explained: Pussy, Ass, Pits. Let me tell you, I stopped watching how I talked around her after that!

May I suggest Wet-Ones or Baby Wipes. Baby Wipes are gentle and smell nice. Wet-ones have more alcohol and a more adult smell. Follow with a fresh application of deoderant and cologne and you’re good to go.

Try a loofah sponge instead of a regular washcloth. It scrubs away all the dead skin cells.
Also, always change your deodorant brand every once in a while…like shampoo, you do become “immune” to it, so to speak.

Guin, you got a cite for that?