Here’s a question that’s only slightly off-topic. Can a guy with glasses ever have the “bad boy” look?
I would find it difficult, unless you’re talking sunglasses.
But I like guys with glasses. Especially if they have a nice smile to go with the glasses. I don’t particularly like sunglasses, as they hide your eyes.
:eek: But… but he’s blue… and furry…
You might as well be dating Sulley from Monsters Inc. 
Dunno if that would be so bad…
Gee, I don’t know about the “bad guy” thing, but Dr Hank McCoy IS a hot number. And he wears glasses.
You know, this thread has gone way off topic.
Not that I mind.
Bleh. :smack:
Vash the Stampede, perhaps?
Blue and furry, yes. Well, the blue one could easily adjust to, the furry might involve some interesting accomodations, but ahhh, he’d be so worth it anyway.
Beast isn’t a bad boy at all, you’re right on there conurepete. I was illustrating my own crush arc from girl to woman using Wolvie to Hank to illustrate my theory that it’s the a young girl stage to like bad boys.
For many of us, every bad boy/asshole is elusive and forbidden and a diamond in the rough just waiting for the right woman therefore horribly appealing, a few years go by and those same bad boys simply telegraph “Baggage! Danger, Will Robinson!!” So IMO, yes, “girls like bad boys” but women? Not so much.
No kidding. I can’t stand “bad boys” and steer clear of them as friends or SOs.
I spent my teenage years dealing with jerks, assholes, and bullies. Thank heaven I got out of high school and out of my small town. Sorry, even when I was in my 20s and naive, jerks had no appeal for me. That’s one reason I hang out here. If a guy’s one of those idiots who somehow thinks that being a jerk proves he’s a real man, I’m quite happy to tell him how much of a man he is.
I *like * nice men, a lot. Hell, right now I’m madly in love and lust with a nice, sweet, shy, geeky guy with glasses. He also has a devastatingly quick wit, a sharp mind, a warped and twisted sense of humour, a stubborn streak almost as wide as mine, and a caring and compassionate heart. A bad boy, he ain’t.
I’ve also said “No” to my share of nice guys and I do prefer Han Solo to Luke Skywalker. Here’s why. I’m stubborn and strong-willed. I was raised to think women should be sweet, demure, retiring, and keep their opinions to themselves but I never got the hang of that. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I want a man who I can’t walk all over, because the thought of that horrifies me and who can give me a run for my money. That shy guy I mentioned did quietly make it clear he was interested in me and, as I got to know him, I realized there was a fair amount of substance to him. He wouldn’t describe himself as “confident”, but I would, if only because he quietly made it clear to me that he knew what he was and what he wanted.
Yes, there are some women who date jerks. I don’t understand them either. I see no reason to reward jerkish behaviour. Give me a nice guy any time!
CJ
I think part of the problem is that Nice Guys tend to be friends with the women in question. Those women then occasionally bitch about their boyfriends. We all do it.
My bf is a great guy and is in no way an asshole. But sometimes he does something that pisses me off. It happens in every relationship. The problem comes when I then turn to my Nice Guy (NG) friend and bitch about what bf did. Then NG wonders what the heck is wrong with me that I would date pain-in-the-ass bf instead of NG. BF is not a pain-in-the-ass 99% of the time. In fact he’s really truly wonderful. But how often do I turn to the NG friend and go on about all the wonderful things that BF does? Very rarely because that would seem like bragging or in some way putting NG down. So I don’t talk about that but I do talk about the 1% of the time when BF annoys me. But since that’s all that NG hears, he assumes that BF is an asshole.
So the real problem is telling NG this stuff, which I have recently learned not to do. This means that I almost never talk to NG about BF, which probably makes him think that BF and I are having problems or something, but what’s a girl to do? I can’t talk about the good stuff 'cause that would seem like putting the NG down (“See what BF did? Why don’t you do stuff like that?” Not that I’d say it like that, but that’s how NG would interpret it.), I can’t talk about the bad stuff 'cause that makes BF seem like an asshole, and I can’t not talk about BF 'cause that makes it seem like there’s something wrong between us. And NGs wonder why women have so much trouble with them!
</rant>
You know, I’m noticing a trend here. All of the women who are posting to tell us how much they like nice guys are also telling us how much they like their current boyfriends. I’m beginning to suspect that although the conventional wisdom is that “a good man is hard to find,” in reality the supply:demand ratio exceeds that of assholes. Assholes, while perhaps less popular overall, clearly have a niche market. They are also able to exploit the market more efficiently because the women who like assholes are (I suspect) less likely to be interested in a long-term relationship, while the assholes themselves are (by virtue of being assholes) more likely to cheat, sleep around, have one-night stands, etc. The women who like nice guys (WHLNGs), OTOH, tend to take themsellves off the market fairly quicklt. (Cf. “Nice guys are the ones you marry.”)
What this means is that even if most of the women you know only want nice guys, the assholes you know are still going to be getting laid all the time, and probably changing the ratio of WHLNGs you know to WHLAHs.
And taxi78cab, you really shouldn’t worry so much about saying nice things about your bf to NGs. As a NG, I enjoy hearing my attatched female friends say nice things about their SOs. (This is part of what makes us NGs so nice and [to some people] such wimps.)
After all, I want my friends to be happy. It’s also, quite frankly, the only thing that makes it possible to have a stable friendship with many of these women. Hearing nice things about the husband/bf is a subtle and non-ego-threatening reminder of non-availability. I’ve never taken nice things about someone else as an insult to me.
I’d much rather hear “My boyfriend is so wonderful. Look at this jewelry he bought me,” than “My boyfriend is such a jerk. I don’t know why I stay with him. I must be desperate. Nothing could be worse. What’s that ? This weekend? With YOU? Ha ha ha! That’s a good–Oh wait! You were serious? Gosh you’re so sweet, but really, I just don’t think of you that way.”
On the other hand, any sign of dissatisfaction is seen as an indicator of potential availability and sets off part of my mind wondering if I have a shot after all. It does no good to tell me that’s not what it means; I already know. This sort of cluelessness is hardwired into the male brain.
(Since I am friends with a couple of attractive married Doper women, I feel compelled, although it spoils the humor, to point out that the above is somewhat exaggerated, and that I am, in fact, perfectly capable of hearing about any aspect of their lives without hitting on them. More than I do now.)
I shouldn’t have generalized about NGs. The NG that I know (note the capitalization… he’s the clingy, whiney kind of NG) does get defensive when I talk about how wonderful my BF is. He tends to reply with either “I do things like that for you too” or “I’d do that if I had a GF” not just “hey, what a great BF, you’re really lucky.” I do realize that is him and not all guys who are nice, but these are the things that make NGs hard to take.
Probably a reference to {or confusion with} the “Flint” movies of the 60’s: Our Man Flint and In Like Flint. Derek Flint, played by James Coburn, was a womanising secret agent in the Bond mould - given that he lived with four adoring mullti-ethnic {American, Japanese, Swedish and Italian, from memory} girlfriends, he could most definitely be said to be “in”. Or over-compensating. With a name like “Derek”, who knows?
Heh. A little of both. I know Flint; I don’t know Flynn. 