Since this seems to be the place for stories about bodily secretions, I’ll share mine.
I’ve had a plugged pore next to my nose (in that crevice where they always seem to develop) for a few weeks now. I don’t like to squeeze pimples, so I let it go for a while, but eventually, something had to be done. I squeezed it a little and got some pus. A few days leter, it looked like it wasn’t going away, so I squeezed it hard…lost of pus, but I knew the game wasn’t over. A few days after that, I gave it the all-out vise-grip squeeze, the kind that brings tears to your eyes. I got a little pus, but it ran dry after awhile…yet…I somehow knew there was more to come. The next morning, it looked ready to give up. The pore was sort of stretched out, and bigger than its neighbors. I squeezed more, got nothing, and kept at it, squeezing as hard as I could without risking permanent scarring. Just when I was about to give up…it slid out. A long, cylindrical, hard deposit extruded itself onto my cheek. It looked like one of those core samples they bring up from the permafrost. I’d really like to look at it with a microscope…we’re talking months of deposits. After it came out, my pore relaxed, although it’s still noticeably bigger than the others…and God, did it feel good to get rid of. Just thinking about it makes me want a cigarette…
You should know better than to say “I now know what childbirth is like” in front of people who actually know what childbirth is like. Bad City Gent! Bad! Bad!
Hama’s suggestion is a good one, though. Do what she says, then get back to us. And we’ll buy you many beers.
[hijack]Now ladies, while I don’t think the OP comes even near the experience of childbirth, I think an orange and a grapefruit ( :eek:) are a bit over the top. From what I’ve heard, passing kidney stones is the most excrutiating bodily function known to humans.[byejack]
As for the OP, good job, City Gent! There’s nothing more satisfying then that feeling. I especially liked it (way back when) when you’d squeeze and squeeze, and from the depths of your face would emerge a gusher, forcefully and audibly squirting across the counter onto the mirror – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
In terms of pain, it was nothing; I was more trying to capture the sense of relief. Maybe I should have entitled it “Reminds me of a healthy, solid dump”
P.S. In the interest of diligence, I plan to pass an orange through my urethra tonight. Notify me if you think I should not do this.
Munch: No, oranges and grapefruit really aren’t over the top, when were talking size ratio. Passing an orange through your urethra, size-wize, is probably about the same as passing a baby through a birth canal. I suck at math, though, so my ratios might be wrong. I have, however, given birth three times, all of them without benefit of pain meds. :eek:
But if City Gent was talking about the relief factor, well, yeah. Now I know what he means.
I’ve had both - childbirth and kidney stones (and also gallstones). Childbirth, believe it or not, is the least painful of all three! Kidney and gall stone pain is truly excruciating (vomiting from pain - I didn’t do that during childbirth); the time period is far longer (days, not hours); and pain meds don’t alleviate the pain - you just become painfully stupid. The only advantage, if there can really be one, is that once the stones are passed or removed, the recuperation time is nil.
Quite smugly, I’m sure, I stated many times how painful childbirth can be - and then I experienced the others.
Sorry to burst the bubble about our superior strength.
My doctor said that a severe heart attack can be more painful than kidney stones, but childbirth without complications isn’t even close. Based on opinions from patients who have had all three! Hopefully not at the same time.
