A friend’s acquaintance wore a T-shirt that showed a mushroom cloud with the words:
Made in America
Tested in Japan
…to the Hiroshima war memorial. Needless to say, it required a police escort to get him out of there alive.
I almost forgot about this. George Carlin sells t-shirts at his shows. The first one is covered in about a hundred dirty words or so. The second one, the one I almost bought, simply says “Simon Says Go Fuck Yourself.”
I’d wear the shirt. Generally I don’t care who’s offended by my T-shirts.
Favorite Tshirts:
“Plants and Animals died to make room for your fat ass.”
"Spank me! Spank me harder! Oh yes! The rolled up newspaper! Spank me like never before!
These were popular in the early 70’s. Several kids at my elementary school had them (“Bullshirt”, “Cowshirt”, “Horseshirt”, etc.), but Mom would never get me one. I was SO deprived as a child…
I’ve also got the Charles Manson tee, although the legend on mine reads “Charlie Don’t Surf.”
At the height of the Ollie North-Fawn Hall scandal I picked up (5 finger discount, as it happens) a t-shirt featuring a caricature of North with the words “The Oliver North Fan Club.” I wore it until the armpits rotted out. Actually I wore it until strangers began mistaking me for a republican.
One of my current favorites is a solid white tee whith the words “Shut up and drink” printed in large black block letters. You see how this would go over big at frat parties.
I’ve also got one with a drawing of a kid dressed in grunge gear with a smiley face for a head. The caption is “I hate your band.” I usually save this one for open mic nights.
Pissing the world off, One person at a time
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- I have a semi-dirty job with no uniform and I got tired of wearing dark colored blank athletic shirts, so I regularly searched for goofy t-shirts. A couple favorites I had:
~“Welcome to Loserville - Population: You” (done like an interstate highway sign)
~I had another one that had a pic of Ghandi’s head and a caption that said “Cool like Ghandi”. (You just can’t find good Ghandi t-shirts anymore)
- I have a semi-dirty job with no uniform and I got tired of wearing dark colored blank athletic shirts, so I regularly searched for goofy t-shirts. A couple favorites I had:
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As to the cotton-picking shirt, I once saw one for sale that had the theory of relativity and underneath it “It’s a white thing, you wouldn’t understand”. It was kinda funny (this was at the height of “black thing” t-shirts) but somewhat extreme for my tastes. - MC
My sister, the doctor, once sent me a T-shirt titled “Cardiac Arrest” in which there are two cops walking a big human heart down the street. Heh!
I had the Hitler T-shirt too. A friend brought it back from England in the early 1980s. I never wore it though–while I was a little out of the mainstream at the time, that wasn’t exactly the kind of statement I was looking to make.
Another favourite was one that (from a distance) looked like the kind you might get at a university: the name of the school in those sports-like letters with a seal of some sort in the middle. On closer inspection, the “school” was Wasted State, and the seal showed a whiskey bottle, some beer cans, and a couple of joints arranged in a pattern.
Sadly, my T-shirts have become more boring as I’ve grown older.
There’s a company called Northern Sun Merchandising http://www.northernsun.com that sells all kind of lefty merchandise, including T-shirts; some rude, some groovy, some silly. You can request a catalog from their website. They have “Another Skinhead for Peace” (picture of Gandhi); that quote from Pat Robertson about feminists being lesbians and practicing witchcraft; a picture of the North American continent labeled “Indian Territory;” a picture of old-growth forests that says “May the Forest Be With You;” and ever so much more.
Northern Sun kicks Ass!
They are right down on Lake Street (in Minneapolis), and I used to get all kinds of t-shirts there. I should really check them out again.
I want the shirt that Homer was selling at the garage sale that read “Ayatollah Rock -n- Rolla” with a picture of Khomeini.
Some of the T-shirts listed and mentioned at www.engrish.com are good for a chuckle or two, especially the ones reading “Spread Beaver: showing the vaginal area” (yup, there’s a picture of it on the site) and “ST, FK, SATAN”.
Hmm, I remember seeing this on the Simpsons but I coulda swore it was “Ayatollah Assaholah.” Just the other day (really!) I was thinking to myself “You know, I doubt they’d let ‘assaholah’ slide through on network TV, did I remember that right?” Guess not.
I think it’s funny shtuff either way.
Once, when I did security, a man came in wearing a Hitler shirt to an Agnostic Front show. Straight up Hitler. We told him he couldn’t wear it in. (If you’ve ever been to an AF show, you’d know why). He took it off, and goddamn I’ve never seen so many swastikas and little white supremicist tattoos on one person. We gave him a white shirt and made him put it on. Once inside, during the middle of the show, he threw up a salute. We had to have three people basicly run him out of there before a riot broke out. I think he still got his ass kicked by SHARP on his way home.
Anyway, I had a friend who insisted on wearing a “Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks” shirt.
And Brother TJ. It was Ayatollah Assaholla. But they cut off the last three or four letters. There was enough for smarter viewers to extrapolate the meaning.
The thing I remember most about that Simpsons’ shirt is Homer’s reply when Marge chided him for not getting rid of it: “But Marge, it works for any Ayatollah!”
“Ka Mana Wana Lei U” around what looks like a college seal.
A t-shirt on a guy sitting in front of me at Wrigley Field bore the phrase “certified muff diving instructor”. This by itself isn’t any worse than the co-ed naked t-shirt, or any other innuendo laced t-shirts. Except that this one also included a graphic depiction of the act in question. I was at the game with my father, and we spent the whole game trying not to comment on it.
This was not helped by the fact that these guys had about 10 beers a piece and then insulted us when we asked them not to blow smoke in our faces. Needless to say, I’m now a White Sox fan.
I had one that was a parody of a fraternity logo that read “I Phelta Thi” (I felt a thigh–some people needed it explained. A shocking number actually expressed surprise on seeing it–“I didn’t know you were in a frat.”)
Was just reading Ian Frazier’s On the Rez where he describes the shirt a young Lakota man was wearing at a powwow held at the Pine Ridge reservation. The shirt read:
“My heroes have always killed cowboys”
Now THAT’S a good shirt!