Originally I was going to target this question at teachers (all levels), but then thought it might be more fun to make it open to all.
Some of us college profs were talking about students’ t-shirts and how we occasionally get distracted by what’s written or depicted on them and have to tell ourselves to stop looking.
Case in point: One prof saw a guy’s shirt that said, “MY MONKEY IS HUGE,” and had to tell herself repeatedly not to look again or she’d burst out laughing in the middle of class.
And I have a couple:
One young man wore a shirt with a picture that looked kind of like the Starbucks logo, and at first I thought it said Starbucks Coffee. But what it said was this: “Star Fucks Fo Free.” I made sure to look anywhere but there for the rest of the class.
The other day, a young woman showed up with a yellow shirt with these words in black: SEX—DO IT FOR THE KIDS." Once again, I had to look away.
Teachers (and all others): Got any garment-related distractions you’d care to mention?
I have personally seen people wearing those dreadful shirts that read “I [PLANE] NEW YORK,” and also (WARNING: MAJOR HARRY POTTER BOOK 6 SPOILERS LIE AHEAD):
“Dumbledore dies on page [whatever].”
I also possess a Rufus Wainwright t-shirt that reads, “Better pray for your sins/'cause the gay messiah is coming,” but I haven’t yet worn it. I’d be willing to bet it would serve as a distraction for some, though.
And vivalostwages, I’m ashamed to admit that I only “got” your username, oh, about 3.5 seconds ago.
Remember back then when it was trendy in the U.S. for people to wear those sleeveless t-shirts with Japanese script on them? (Actually it was usually faux-Japanese, btw.) Well, the trend went both ways. It was trendy then (and may still be now for all I know) for Japanese people to wear clothing/accessories with English writing on them. And they had no idea what it said.
I don’t know who was coming up with those slogans, but someone, somewhere, was having a great big laugh at the expense of the poor Japanese people walking around with those phrases on their bodies. My favorites:
A cute little girl wearing a shirt that said, “KIDDIE PORN.” (I didn’t see this one; my dad saw it and told me about it.)
An old man carrying a duffel bag that said, “We old coots are actually scared to death of chickens.”
And my favorite was a youngish woman in her 20s, wearing an extremely stylish and expensive-looking yellow jacket. On the back, in very large block type, it said:
There are a couple of great tshirt sites where you can get some funny/outrageous/disgusting shirts. My current fav is tshirthell.
They have a new selection of hurricane shirts out now:
“KATRINA DEVASTATES THE NORTH: 1000’S OF SOUTHERNERS FOUND
I’d love to have the balls to wear these:
“YOUR SISTER IS HOT BUT YOUR MOM DOES THAT THING WITH HER TONGUE”
“I ONLY SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE IF BOTH CHICKS ARE HOT”
“MARY WAS ONLY A VIRGIN IF YOU DON’T COUNT ANAL”
“123 OUT OF 124 HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS AGREE: VIVA ARUBA!”
They also have tshirts for babies/kids:
“DADDY DRINKS BECAUSE I CRY”
“NOW THAT I’M SAFE, I’M PRO-CHOICE”
Check out their pics pages- they have famous people wearing their shirts and other folk who wear the shirts well…Enjoy the pics of “WHO NEEDS TITS WHEN YOU HAVE AN ASS LIKE THIS?”
When I was working in fast food, I more than once got distracted by what was on a customer’s t-shirt (or, in the case of a few younger female customers, what was written across their tushes).
A couple (off colour) favourites… Both, actually, on teenagers.
One fellow had a t-shirt which had a short comic strip of two stick-people having sex - and getting set on fire, since that’s what results from rubbing sticks together.
The other was on a girl (who attended my old Catholic High School, and always came with her father, just for an extra WTF on it) had a sweatshirt done in the style of a university athletic shirt. For Beaver University. For their Diving Team. That’s right, folks, the shirt was for the Beaver Diving Team.
It was often hard not to laugh on that job. (My favourite, since that one reminded me, was when one of the women was talking about repairing her beaver-fur coat. Talking about sewing up the hole in her beaver, and such. I’m pretty sure she intended the joke, at least.)