I thought Grimace - the purple blobby guy from McDonalds - was actually named Milkshake. No, I don’t know why.
I thought sprinkles, the kind you put on ice cream, were called “anchovies”. I’m blaming this one on Oscar the Grouch because he used to have anchovies on his ice cream. The only thing I could think of that went on ice cream was those coloured sprinkes, so… there you go. It got some weird looks at the local Baskin Robbins.
I also thought “drinking and driving” was drinking ANYTHING and driving, so I’d cry if my parents had a cup of coffee while driving, and I’d throw an absolute tantrum if they tried to get me to drink anything, thinking I’d be seen by the cops and taken away.
My dad, as a lawyer, was always running into people he knew in public. So I’d have to stand obediantly by while he babbled on, and he’d always end the conversation with “Okay, I’ll give you a ring sometime this week”. So when people asked what my parents did, I’d always say he gave out rings, and it would lead to odd conversations like “So, I hear you’re a jeweller?” “Er, no… where did you hear that?” and my parents thinking I was quite the liar. I stopped doing it when I was 7 or 8 and realised what my dad actually did for a living, but I don’t think my parents and I figured out what had really been going on until I was 14.
Speaking of Beethoven, I thought he was a basset hound until I was ten. I think I got it from that movie where these people kidnapped Beethoven the dog. Never did get the piano references.
Also, I used to think th Beatles named was spelled with an “ea” because that was the British version of the word.
Also, when reading Hardy Boys novels, I thought a jalopy was a brand of car, like a Honda. Also from Hardy boys, the word “chums” confused me a lot, because although I eventually figured out it means “friends”, I had the word confused with Tums, those chalky antacid tablets.
When I as in the third grade, I told my father I had finally figured out what sex was. “It’s when a man and a woman sleep together…in the same bed.” Wasn’t I precocious?
Once, I asked my dad what UPS stood for. My little sister piped up, “U People Suck.”
I had a nearly opposite, but luckily less troubling, mistaken idea about sex. Well, heterosexual intercourse specifically. I thought the man had to fully insert his penis into the woman’s vagina, fully withdraw, fully insert, and so on until they were done.
In a vague way I thought this was part of why so many women complained about painful intercourse or insensitive male lovers. A man who wasn’t very careful and skilled would be sure to bump against his ladyfriend’s sensitive bits in an unplasant way now and then.
You actually weren’t far off. One of the early Spanish explorers encountered (or at least claimed to have encountered) a tribe of warrior women around the Amazon river. So he named the region after the Amazons of myth.
Greenland for one. And, apparently, a bunch of “central” American countries, which I had always thought of as being part of South America. Oh, and… the Carribean. http://www.emporis.com/en/wm/ct/?id=100007
In Catholic grade school I always thought there was only one Pope and that he was a biblical figure like Moses or Noah. Imagine my suprise when the principal came on the PA system to tell us that the Pope had died. I immediately though “How old was this guy? I didn’t even know he was still alive.”
My 25 year old friend was driving me to the airport so I could catch my flight out of town. Instead of following the signs for “departures” he follwed the signs for “arrivals”. I asked him why he was following the signs for “arrivals” he said “because we’re arriving.” :smack:
Until recently I thought the word “befriend” meant that you were no longer friends. :smack: :smack:
Same 25 year old friend when I asked him if he wanted to go to Lalapalooza replied “I like that band. What songs do they play again?” :smack: :smack: :smack:
I believed that in Chicago the tall building was the ‘serious tower’ and if you got too bored with work you could go to the ‘museum of science and interesting’ (That’s the sears tower and the museum on science and industry).
I also believed that if you just didn’t care any more, you threw cash into the wind (Caution to the wind).
Until more recently than I would care to specifically confess, when I would hear someone refer to Patti LuPone and her latest Broadway success, I would wonder how she managed to balance that with her soul/pop career, because for some reason I had her confused with Patti LaBelle.