I Once Threw Up In My MIL's Purse

To answer a query from another thread (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6213905&postcount=17), here is the full story:

My wife and I went to a friend’s wedding. My wife didn’t have any nice purses to match her outfit, so she borrowed her mother’s purse. It was a Russian wedding, and I happily devoured a large quantity of Russian food and vodka, and danced Russian dances for a couple of hours. Then, I started to fell unwell. I told my wife I needed to go home and lie down.

Somehow, I managed to convince her I was OK to drive. It had been at least an hour since my last drink, and I felt sober, if not altogether healthy.

So we’re zooming down the freeway, I’m behind the wheel, and suddenly I realize I’m moving rapidly from feeling unwell to violently sick. I tell my wife that I’m on the verge of puking, and I maneuver the car to the offramp, make a right turn onto the street and then pull over to the curb. While I’m doing that, my quick-witted SO dumps the contents of her mother’s purse to the floor of the car.

As if it had been choreographed, I put the car into park, turned to my wife and leaned down as she was holding the purse open. I vomited into the purse, she waited until I finished, snapped the purse closed, opened the car door and dropped the purse into the gutter (which we regret now, but our critical thinking skills were nowhere in evidence; we were caught up in the moment). She closed the door, I put the car into drive and merged back into traffic. The whole thing, from pulling over to the curb to merging back into traffic, probably didn’t take more than five minutes.

My wife and I never told her mother what really happened to her purse.

So that’s the whole, sordid story. I feel a weight has been lifted. Thanks for listening. :slight_smile:

Thanks. I was dying to know the story as well.

Good for you! :slight_smile:

The emotional rollercoaster the person that found that purse must have gone through would have absolutely pegged both ends of the spectrum.

Was it that ugly a purse? Did your wife replace it? How did she explain to her mother that she lost it?

As I recall, it was a simple black hardcase handbag with a fold over flap and a snap clasp.

We bought her mother a new one.

I think she told her mother that our dog chewed it up or something.

My thoughts exactly.

So you can’t make a silk purse out of a souse’s urk?

Let me guess… Raaaaaaalph Lauren?

A stroke of genius. I LOVE YOU MAN!!!