In this thread I was asking for opinions on full-day kindergarten, and while I was typing it I started to get really pissed off about the whole thing, so I’m bringing it here.
In Indiana they start giving kids standardized tests in third grade. If you can’t pass the test you stay in third grade. In order to give kids a better chance to pass the test, parents now have the option of sending their kids to kindergarten all day every day (this costs $70 a week.) I have now been arm-twisted into signing my little girl up for this bullshit. There were allegations that I did not want what was best for my daughter, how could I not give her every advantage, didn’t I want her to be successful, etc…
Remember in Uncle Buck, when the principal accuses the six-year old girl of being a sillyheart and not taking her career as a student seriously? That’s what I feel like is happening here. If I want my daughter to go to kindergarten 2.5 days a week, and have the other 2.5 days to play and be a kid, I’m a bad father. Because it’s a tough world out there, and the fucking five year old has to start getting serious about her academic career. The five year old can’t possibly waste 2.5 days of precious study time every week swinging and sliding and playing with friends, oh no, that would put her at a disadvantage. Childhood is over, she has to start buckling down at age five and go to school every day, or she may not get into Harvard.
So in the end I was convinced, by talking to a first-grade teacher, that it probably is the best thing for her. So I’m going to do it, but FUCK the system that forced me into this.
I’m sorry. How dare they guilt you into signing, that’s outrageous! That alone is worth a pitting.
I hope your daughter has a wonderful teacher who makes school a welcoming and fun place. I’ll bet most of her classmates will be like her, sweet and curious.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind if mine could go all day when it’s time, I think they’d really enjoy it (and I’d like to paint all day), but we can’t afford $560/month.
Too bad they’re not allocating some resources into fixing the stupid adults out there, I don’t know why we’re always focused on little kids.
I’ve never heard of kindergarten that *wasn’t * every day, though when you say “all day” I’m not sure what hours you’re talking about. You’re not a bad father if you only send her part time, but keep in mind the majority of kindergarten *is * playing and being a kid (or at least it was back when I went and dinosaurs roamed the earth). Do what you think is best and fucko off to anyone who tries to make you feel guilty.
Ooooh, I didn’t realize this was a mother-in-law issue, too. A multi-faceted pitting!
So is there any basis for her meddling? Does your daughter know her ABC’s and whatnot?
I tend to trust kids’ innate desire to learn - if she’s got that, and you guys are able to support it, then why would she be “behind” in first grade? Does she have special learning needs that are beyond your scope? I’m not any kind of terrific teacher or anything, my kids pretty much teach themselves and I’m just there for them to bounce things off of. Literally, at times ::ouch::
OTOH, your daughter’s school shouldn’t be soul-crushing, whether she’s there for 18 hrs/wk or 30 hrs/wk. If it is, then that’s a separate problem.
Some kindergarten programs go a full school day, 7 to 2 or whatever typical school hours are. Hence “all day.” Others only last until around lunchtime, but they seem to be going out of fashion.
She is very bright, knows her ABCs and is starting be able to piece words together. She has an excellent vocabulary; recently while at the doctor’s office she told him that something was “exhilarating.” After laughing for five minutes the doctor said that when she goes to kindergarten we won’t believe how far ahead of the other kids she is.
There is no reason that I can think of for mother-in-law’s meddling. This is unusual for her, that’s normally my mom’s department. Of course, my mom doesn’t think she should be going to kindergarten at all, she thinks we should wait another year.
And I agree with you that her academic success or lack thereof will have far more to do with us as parents than it will with how many days she goes to kindergarten.
Sorry, I hadn’t read your original thread when I posted. I see you also referred to physical therapy sessions for your daughter. While the all-day option should keep her from falling behind, it’d be wrong of the school/MIL to push that option if it interferes with something she needs healthwise. I take it the therapy can be rescheduled and she’ll be okay?
Fuck 'em. Unless, you know, your kid actually likes it, in which case, yay. And she may very well love it, although I think WOOKINPANUB’s info is a bit out of date - kindergarten in our area has one 15 minute recess, 1 20 minute meal, no snack and is very academically focused. It’s literally what 1st grade was when I was a kid. Don’t know about yours.
I’ve found that if I don’t waffle even a little bit, people don’t push. Everyone’s asking if my 3 year old is starting preschool in the fall. Nope, she’s not ready. She knows her alphabet and her numbers and is starting to sight read a few words and can do her own zippers and buttons most of the time, but nope, she’s not ready emotionally. And I am NOT going to push her in before she’s ready. If I have to keep her out of kindergarten until she’s 6, I’ll do it. I’d much rather she be the oldest and most mature in her class than the young immature prodigy. (Having been the young immature prodigy myself.) But I tend to have that Mama Bear I-know-what-I’m-talking-about-don’t-fuck-with-ME energy around my kids, so maybe everyone’s just afraid to argue with me.
If she doesn’t like school, yank her. She needs to know you have her back AND she doesn’t need to be pushed academically (yet). And if she’s held back because of a standardized test in third grade, so what? No college is going to care - or even know - that she repeated third grade. Far better that she repeat third grade than 10th. Better that she spend the time she needs in the early grades to be a solid student than to be just barely passing and stressed out for 13 years of schooling.
Mother of 5. My oldest 4 kids went to half day kindergarten. My youngest son, who will be going to kindergarten in two years will have to go to full day, because of busing reasons. My kids go to a parochial school, and as the public schools makes decisions, we have to follow them.
I disagree strongly with the full day kindergarten. All initial gains made by full day are eliminated by 3rd grade.
In addition, the public school here charges over $3,000 a year here to send the kids to full day. my private school tuition is less than that, even in middle school. Public students have the option to only go half day for free, but that angers me as well, for a couple of reasons.
IT"S PUBLIC SCHOOL-IT SHOULD BE FREE, DUH!
Only financially better off kids go to full day.
What happens if you don’t pay halfway through the year? The kid gets transferred?
It is insane that it costs the parents more than private school.
Full day is unnecessary for kids, it is more a convenience for the parents-so at least let’s be truthful about it, folks.
My first kids would have been overwhelmed with full day. They had been to preschool a couple of years before then, but it still would have been hard. My last kid will be fine, but that’s because he is #5, he’s used to be dragged all over creation, socializing with many different ages and in different situations, and everyone reads to him and teaches him math.
Actually, even though the older kids are on the A honor roll, test to the 98% percentile, etc, he might be the smartest, at least math wise. He just turned four, and he is able to count by ones, twos, and fives. He can also add multiples- “What’s 2+3+5?” Which is great, but all day long he asks questions like “What’s 426+1021?” I feel obligated to answer him correctly, so all day I am doing mental math…
SO you have to pay for kindergarten, is this at a public school? My kid went to a young fives program at her private preschool. It was 3 days a week for about 3 hours. The next year she went to all day every day kinder through our school district. She rode the bus, had a choice of hot lunch or brown bag it and rode the bus home. She was ready for it and was 6 when school started.
From what I remember the focus was on getting the kids ready to read, write, make good choices, manage time, follow directions, get along with others, learn about consequences etc. The kids had time to play in the classroom, choosing between a variety of stuff including painting, block building, puzzles. Kids could pair up or go solo. A rest time was incorporated and the teacher would read aloud to them as well. The kids also had time for recess, gym and fine arts (music and art).
No one is saying you cant keep your kid out for another year are they? Maybe your daughter would do well waiting a year I know it made all the difference in my kid’s attitude. It was her maturity level that concerned me. At 5 she was timid and stuck to my leg whenever we visited her sister’s elementary school. One year later she was gung ho about going.
IIRC our school district has been doing it this way for about 6-7 years, way before standardized testing required of 3rd graders. They just wanted to make sure kids were ready for first grade when the more serious learning starts. Our kindergarten teachers also have to be certified.
It blows my mind that a public school charges people to send their children to all-day, everyday kindergarten. That’s just wrong. In all the districts in my area, all-day everyday kindergarten is mandatory and free for all children. I can’t imagine it being otherwise.
Do what’s right for your kid, not what’s convenient for others. Until the studies show that there is actual long term gain, who cares?
I remember in the 70’s how Mother Russia would send preschool kids all day to school, so their parents could work, and the kids could be indoctrinated at a young age. When Russia did it, it was terrible.
ETA- yellowval MN pays only for half day kindergarten, the school district picks up the other half. Some districts charge the parents.
I don’t have kids, but the idea of non-full day kindergarten surprises me. Preschool was the only time I didn’t go to school all day. The only real difference between 1st and kindergarten I remember was they took away nap time. Third grade was when we started getting desks. I went to a DoD school if that makes any difference. Don’t let people push your around but I wouldn’t worry about your kid in a full day school.
The physical therapy is a wildcard. I’m not even sure she’ll still be in it by September, she is hitting most of her milestones now. Right now I take her on Monday mornings, I figured the school would understand and wouldn’t give me any crap about it if I kept doing that. I’ll have to talk to her therapist about it. What I will probably do, if she still needs the PT, is reschedule it to Monday afternoons, because they work her pretty hard and wear her out pretty good, and I wouldn’t want to take her to kindergarten after that.
And to avoid any confusion, the first-grade teacher I discussed this with is not in my school district, she teaches in another district that does not even offer full-day kindergarten.
Our district went to all day kindergarten for everyone when my daughter was in first grade - free. I’m also in Minnesota - our district just made it part of the budget (they cut a lot of other stuff to do it - we don’t have librarians in our schools anymore and high school class sizes increased).
When my kids went it was a few thousand to have your kids in all day kindergarten.
My son went half days - because we liked our daycare and his sister was there. Sending him to full day kindergarten was more work for us (but would have been cheaper) - and the way our full day kindergarten is set up is that - at that time - there wasn’t more education in full day - just more enrichment. He got that at daycare.
My daughter, a year later, went full time. Now it became easier and cheaper to have them both in the same school. True to billing, her full days were not academically packed - but she got gym and music and recess in Kindergarten. Kids who needed early intervention also had time for it that they didn’t have for them in half day.
Half day kindergarten is a sprint - they have the kids for such a short time each day and so much to pack in. All day kindergarten adds a lot of leisure.
