I pit celebrity public apologies

The BBQ Pit
#1

There are truely not enough :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:s in the world anytime some dumbass celebrity athelete, movie star, politician wants to make a public apology for being a dumbass.
The latest of course being Michael Vick’s apology on how embarassed he is, how it was such a mistake, blab-blah-blah, whatever.
It’s such an insult to the public’s intelligence and an utter waste of time to make your little speech trying to cover your ass somehow. And like we don’t already know the only reason you’re doing it is because your lawyer/agent told you to do it and your pr person wrote it out for you verbatim.

So next time you want to drive drunk(Lohan, Hilton), snort coke(Moss, Downey Jr.), electrocute dogs (Vick, DMX), cheat on your spouse (Hugh Grant), shout racial slurs (Mel Gibson,Imus), just do me a favor: shut your yap, disappear for a while, and realize that everyone now knows that your a drunk, drug addict, animal abuser, cheater, racist and spare me the “Oh I’m soooo sorry, I’m not really like that ya know” bullshit.

You’re all as transparent as your apologies.

#2

you forgot a few notables - Michael “I am not a racist” Richards and Isiah “I’m not a homophobe” Washington.

yea, it’s a publicity thing. But it’s quite simply the very least they could do. I’m not a fan of the “I made a mistake” type of apology (the interpretation I have of that is “I made a mistake and allowed everyone to realize that I was an asshole”, vs. “I am an asshole”). I would rather them state “There is no excuse for my behavior, the only thing I can do at this point is to insure it’s not repeated.”

#3

And, as a Christian, could I just request that you leave Jesus out of it? Because He’s basically hanging around waiting to be “found” every day, so maybe you could find him some other time, when you don’t look quite so insincere and the “finding” isn’t quite so convenient and easy.

“I’m sorry! I realize it was incredibly wrong! And I’ve found Jesus! He was in the glove compartment!” :rolleyes:

#4

That was a horrible thing to say about those nice celebrities, Hampshire. I think you owe them a public apology!

#5

Well in Hugh Grants defense he and Elizabeth Hurley were dating, not married. So she wasn’t his spouse. Of course she is Elizabeth Hurley so I don’t know what the idiot was thinking.

#6

(mmm, maybe you’re right)

I’m very sorry for saying the things I have said. There was no excuse for it. I embarassed myself, my family, and my fellow dopers. It was a mistake, completely out of character for me, and I didn’t mean it. I love all atheletes, movie stars, and politicians. I look forward to getting on with my life and believe we all deserve a second chance.
Thank you.

#7

There’s something particularly suspicous when people start saying things like, “It would take a miracle to get his image cleaned with the public.” Then a few weeks later, the celeb in question finds Jesus or God.

Yeah, there’s nothing fishy there. :dubious:

#8

You may think you are pitting the celebrities, but what really upsets you is that rather than ridicule, these celebs are often rewarded with positive press and acceptance by gullible fans. In other words, they apologize because their handlers know that it works.

#9

actually, I’m reminded of the joke about the burgler who hears “Jesus is watching you”

#10

I dunno, wring, seems to me that joke is a pretty clear foreshadowing of divine retribution. :smiley:

#11

And with a certain calibre of people, it works. That’s what disgusts me most of all - that some people buy that he’s found god, so it’s all good.

Nuh-uh. I ain’t buyin’ it. And I agree with the OP - STFU and hide, you idiots. Gah.

#12

Has any celebrity ever apologized for something BEFORE they were caught?

Serious question.

#13

Anaamika, I know it works for some people. And I agree it’s disgusting - even if you try to give those people credit for knowing it’s just a cynical ploy - but one that allows them to continue supporting their celeb, it’s still disgusting.

To use the example of Michael Vick - I’m sure that if you asked the supporters at the courthouse where he made this statement, they’d all say that he’s alright because he found Jesus. But if you ask him why they came out to support him, before they’d heard he’d found Jesus, you’d get an embarassed silence.

I honestly don’t think such ‘conversion experiences’ really change all that many opinions - mostly, they seem to just give those people inclined to give a bye to celebs an excuse to do it.

#14

well, it is quite appropriate in this case.

#15

I dunno. You didn’t say anything about going into rehab, so I don’t think I can accept your apology. Gotta do the rehab, man.

#16

double post

#17

A really odd sequel to their relationship is that they remain so close that Grant is godfather to her billionaire-fathered son. (Cite- lots of others.)

With Vick I love the use of the word “mistake” in apologies- he made a mistake in pitting dogs in death matches. If that was a mistake, what exactly did he think he was doing? Planning football lineups and the dogs got out of hand or…

The three most common steps of celebrity (and I’m counting politicians as celebrities) apologies seem to be-

“I didn’t do any such thing---- oh, that, yeah, I did do that actually… sorry, I thought you were talking about something else”

“Okay, I did that thing I said I didn’t, but it’s because I have a problem, so I am calling this press conference to publicly ask newspapers to all publish photographs of me asking for privacy as I enter rehab to rest up before my next conviction”

“Look who I met at rehab (or in jail)… it’s Jesus! He was hear getting off the private stash Cana Chianti at the same time!”

I was surprised Mel Gibson didn’t (to my knowledge) claim “Jesus helped me get through the problem I had with the Jews. He agrees with me about them starting wars, though.” (I love Kathy Griffin’s spiel on “how do you even get from ‘sir step out of the car’ to ‘Jews start all the wars’? Even drunk, it’s just not a natural progression for most people.”)

#18

He also messed it up by saying “I’m very sorry for saying the things I have said” instead of “I’m very sorry if the things I have said offended anyone,” reserving his right to say them, just not where anyone who’d be offended can hear them.

#19

I just read the Vick apology, and while he accepts responsibility and finds Jesus, there is no mention of his most heinous crime: Wearing those shiny gangster suits. Where in the 9 hells does the material for those abominations come from?

#20

Oh, it’s just plain ol’ pit bullhide.