Like a motherfuck.
If you can’t eat with chopsticks, you’re an uncivilized heathen who probably doesn’t even know to wash the rice, and no self respecting ‘slant eye’ would want to eat at your stupid house, anyway.
If you can’t eat rice with chopsticks, and not get it on your shirt, you’re an uncultured cretin who should eat in the yard!
Forks are for babies, grow up!
Wow, the racism in this OP is appalling. Those dirty, slanty-eyed dinks aren’t troglodytes. They’re people.
I thought chopsticks with rubber bands were for babies.
I remember one time in Japan a friend of mine ran into a language barrier trying to request a fork. The waitress listened to his request and translated it to ‘You want baby chopstick’ Then disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a smaller set of chopsticks with a rubber band around them.
Bullshit.
ever tried to eat a baby with a fork?
I already have two pairs of rosewood chopsticks. They aren’t Louis Vuitton however. 
According to John Wayne in The Fighting Seabees, the Japanese are “Tojo’s bug-eyed monkeys”. Just want to make sure we’re using the correct racist nonsense here.
Well, at least one of you got it.
Edit: I posted to remind the OP that parody threads required a link to the thread being parodied, but I see now he actually did so. So, nevermind! 
But among Koreans it’s bad table manners to pick up the little bowl of rice that comes with the banchan. Everything stays on the table.
I thought that was covered under stab two things. But it’s probably worth mentioning along with poking your own eyes out, and the double self lobotomy. After all, fork users don’t seem to be the creatively thinking types.
I once came across a chopstick in the road. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
Carry two cups of coffee.
I got it and before the thread got completely derailed I was hoping beyond hope that slimy just might read this and realize in some small way where he went wrong in the original thread.
Pretty naive, right?
Let’s see you nekulturney mothersuckers lo hei with a fork!
He didn’t go wrong. It went just like he wanted it to. He’s a troll, plain and simple. Every one of his posts, no matter what the topic, is full of the same condescension, hostility, and illogic, clearly designed to bait the audience.
Those are obviously knockoffs. You can tell by the stitching.
chopsticks = hot flung rice or hand cramps
Can I just slurp it out of the bowl?
I guess I’m just a “primitive fucking dirty slanty-eyed troglodyte” lover, then. Oh wait, I am - my SO is of Chinese descent.
And masturbating with a fork is easy? :eek:
I agree that “tined for his pleasure” just doesn’t have the same ring.