Brilliant!
Note to self: when eating at TriPolar’s, insist on fork.
I guess you wouldn’t want to know some of the uses of chopsticks I didn’t mention.
In this case, I’ll treasure my ignorance.
All foolishness aside, there is a little bit of irony in the fact that:
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chopsticks are the best utensil (cutlery?) for eating a leafy green salad, which is a traditionally western dish. A fork just doesn’t work as well. With chopsticks you can easily pick up the salad leaves one-handed even if they are lying flat against the bowl, and fold them into a mouth-sized package and eat them without getting salad oil all over your face. Not so with a fork (or it’s a great deal of work, cutting the leaves with the edge of the fork and then trying to lever the fork underneath them, but more likely just pushing them across to the edge of the bowl).
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a fork (or spoon) is better for eating Chinese fried rice (i.e. oily rice that doesn’t really clump together) which is traditionally an asian dish. The last 5 minutes of eating a Chinese fried rice dish with chopsticks is an exercise in frustration and diminishing returns, unless you upend the plate and shovel the rice into your face.
That’s okay. We have a few sets of chopsticks we keep clean for eating and cooking. But we have a ton of the cheap type around, and considering their general utility, I wouldn’t reuse them for food either.
Ah. Sort of like the toothbrush that gets used to scrub the grout.
Chopsticks are the source of Asian academic superiority. Whenever the genetic realists make their claims about surperior Asian intellect, they fail to mention that there are only a few Asian cultures that display this superiority and that the those cultures use chopsticks. This intellectual superiority also tends to fade in emigrant populations after a few generations as children use chopsticks less and less.
Chopsticks are actually indigenous to only a few Asian cultures, Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Vietnamese (there may be others but they probably wont support my hypothesis so I will ignore them for now). These are also the Asian populations that tend to outperform on IQ tests (the single most important determinant for everything).
The use of chopsticks leads to stimulation and development of the math and science portions of the brain which leads to higher IQ scores. This explains why emigrant populations tend to have lower IQ scores after a few generations despite mantaining genetic homogeneity. The later generations stop using chopsticks as much as their parents and therefore they get stupider.
So if you want you kids to be good at math, you should have them eat their hotpockets with chopsticks, their SAT scores will go up.
Why do you have grout in your urethra?
Why is there no wild applause smiley?
I ran out of chopsticks so I used my penis to tile my bathroom.
Most Westerners I know don’t really know how versatile chopsticks are. Aside from the standard lever action for picking stuff up with one point of contact at the very tips of the chopsticks, you can also grab a bunch of noodles by squeezing the two sticks together in parallel. Spearing stuff with one or both sticks is also perfectly acceptable.
Also, bringing the bowl right up to your mouth and simply shoveling stuff in is very low class, and likely insulting to the chef (implying she doesn’t know how to make proper sticky rice).
He can use chopsticks with a single finger.
Food cuts itself into bite sized pieces for him.
He has tiling grout for semen.
He is…the most fucked up man in the world.
Urethra grout connection is probably best answered by Smeghead, no?
As for the bowl shovelling thing, I thought it was de rigueur…
On the other hand, you can’t chop anything at all with them, so there’s some serious misrepresentation going on right off the bat.
Band Name!
Tested this today at lunch, and you are absolutely correct.
I know right. Fucking lying liars and their lying utnesils. That’s why I use machetes for my rice and sushi.
You can cut some foods with chopsticks. The key thing is that the food has to be prepared properly for chopsticks. That’s no different an idea than food being prepared properly for a knife and fork, which idea is not that different from the idea that food had to be prepared properly for the non-fork using Europeans not so many years ago in the grand scheme of things.
I’ve seen my wife cut a steak one handed with chopsticks.
I would never have believed it had I not seen it.