damn that “submit” reply button!!! 
Dang, screwed the pooch on that one.
To continue…
you could scope out what your rustic neighbor was actually burning! Wouldn’t that be cool? Wow! Treat 'em like people worth respect, somebody almost as good as you! You could scope out facts before yowling to every enforcement agency in the phone book which would save you just bunches of time.
See, you just wander over and say, “Hey, I’m Sprocket. Just moved in over there. Nice to meet ya and how ya doin’?” Now I somehow doubt that you’d ever lower yourself to actually be friends with a bucolic type. You’re just a much finer sort. But, Spocket, it handling it like would have been both fair and polite. Does noblesse oblige get through your fog of superiority?
Your behavior was ugly. Maybe your neighbors were burning something prohibited. You didn’t know, and didn’t show your neighbors the common courtesy of even asking first. You showed them contempt, and it’s ugly.
Worse, it’s fucking stupid. In your zeal as self-annointed green crusader, did you even care that your actions were howling counterproductive? What was your goal? To stop those inconvenient cretins from burning stuff, right? Well, what are the chances now that they would ever cooperate with you in any matter, large or tiny? You made sure they’d hate you. (Yeah, yeah, they’re jealous rustics, your superiority shines is obvious, I’m gonna vomit.)
From one who is concerned about the environment, shut the fuck up.
And then I couldn’t even get my fingers untangled during the edit deadline.
Sigh.
Well it’s a good thing I gots me a tractor then ain’t it?
This is actually on my To Do list, way down there, but I do want to give this a try.
Scoping out before calling the cops is a good idea.
Man, I wonder what life would be like if the neighbor called the cops every time I smoked a brisket. I’d probably have a lot of cop friends.
And the smoke is nothing compared the runoff from the neighboring onion farm. Not that that stops me from accepting my box of free onions every year.
We live right in the middle of town, and one of the first things our next-door neighbor did when we moved in was to offer the use of his phone if we didn’t have one yet. About the second thing was to tell us that his two daughters lived with him and that if we ever had any problem with loud noise or anything like that coming from his house he’d appreciate it if we’d talk to him about it before we called the police. The issue never came up. The girls didn’t make any excess noise, but we certainly would have tried to deal with it with him before we made any other calls. (Unless it looked like imminent danger, of course.)
In this case we didn’t have to deal with anything, but the whole thing did make the relationship start off on a good foot. He let us know we were neighbors, not just “those people next door”. It makes a difference.
I can speak from the limited perspective of a far-away public safety employee.
If controlled-burn permits are not issued by the city or county fire department (or, rarely, the state forestry department) in the OP’s area, I’d love to know who does issue them and what exactly their authority is when bystanders call 911? Here’s a hint: the EPA has nothing whatever to do with it. Learn who you need to call.
If a fire is not either a previously-reported, controlled burn, or a previously-reported, false-alarm test, it’s getting the maximum response the caller’s report deserves, depending on his/her answers to the emergency operator’s questions. It would be cool if these answers were honest (“I don’t know” is an honest and useful, if unpopular, answer), but honest or not, the caller determines the response. Sometimes the response includes law-enforcement types to detain you if your pocket rings when we call your cell phone back. Good luck.
Burn the witch! Burn the Witch! Burn the -
*What?
oh, oops, sorry! I was looking for the Legal witchburning rally…
carry on
Wow, for a minute I was worried. I figured the hick brigade had finally got you.
Pitchforks, and coonhounds, and combines, oh my!
I was also confused about the issuance of “burn permits” and the State EPA vs. the local Fire Department in the OP. I think we are talking about two different issues. One is regulation of burning things which might be toxic (EPA), and one is burning of things which might become uncontrollable wildfires (FD). However, I did find this on the Ohio EPA web site:
This table (in the “click here” link) is evidently where the 1000-foot rule comes from. (See “Residential Waste”). Note that it does NOT say that this type of open burning requires an EPA permit.
Some wastes are not permitted at all:
Local officials DO have the authority regulate burning:
Lawyers, does this give the local FD authority to issue permits?
At any rate, even though the OP tried to “do her homework”, I’m not sure that she (or the EPA dude either, for that matter) understood the regulations. For example “the local FD cannot issue burn permits” - well, it looks to me as if that site says they can.
Sprockets,you have my sympathies and almost perfect understanding.I live in a rural area that has had increasing air quality legislation.Farmers are opposed to burn bans,for what I feel are legitimate reasons,and almost all residents burn their trash.Despite regular postings in the press reiterating the law limiting burn material to tree products (branches,leaves,stumps,paper & cardboard ),few of my neighbours pay heed.Any enforcement would be by “outsiders”,and after all,it’s nunna there dam biness.
I too take a dim view of people moving into the country/farmland and complaining about the smells of manure,woodsmoke,etc. Yet if I’m downwind of anyone burning plastic,carpeting,rubber and the like,my thoughts echo yours.
That stuff’s like, carcinogenic, right? 
So which one is it?
but you’re a classy lady, so all’s good!
You’re to be forgiven. It was a non-hunting day and they needed the human contact.
Did you move to his area specifically because of it’s “no burn” laws? Because it’s completely legal to burn in my semi-rural location; both in town and on my little farmlette. It is probably offensive to some people, but we all do it. The folks in town burn on their decks and patios all the time. They have fire pits and it’s perfectly legal. In fact, I know of few places where it’s completely illegal to burn stuff.
It’s illegal to burn your dinner in Ohio! :eek:
NinetyWT, thanks for looking up the Ohio law. It’s pretty much as I (and many others) expected. Local officialdom is ignoring the OP’s complaints because they have both the legal authority and the personal understanding to do so. Burning wood and similar agricultural products seems quite legal. The EPA guy is a wanker attempting to justify his own existence.
(Say, whatever happened to the OP, anyway? She seems ominously silent. Anybody checked the news for lynchings in Ohio?)
I have no problem with a ban on open burning of truly noxious materials, as stated well upthread.
However, apparently Ohio totally bans open burning of “garbage—any wastes created in the process of handling, preparing, cooking or consuming food”.
I wonder how this may be viewed by rural residents whose only other recourse for garbage disposal may be some regionally - located dumpster. Which facility may or may not be quite distant, and may or may not be accessible in varying weather conditions or specific dates and times. (I feel a few relevant bars of *Alice’s Restaurant * creeping into the back of my brain here. “Who ever heard of a dump being closed on Thanksgiving?..”)
Composting is great if you, say, pick a few bushels of beans and “snap” them for canning. The waste has some volume, and can be composted. But other kitchen garbage inevitably contains smaller food scraps like an apple core or two, a bit of trimmed fat, and the like. Keeping that around the house pending some trip to an off-site disposal can become a hardship. It has been common practice throughout most of history to burn such, to eliminate dangers from putrefaction or large, hairy scavengers.
For similar reasons we’ve burned the garbage at every wilderness campsite I’ve ever been in. Oh, we carry out the cans, just like we carried them in. But we toast them nicely first, so we’re not carrying all that slimy rotting shit around with us. Ohio Boy Scouts-- you’re all going to jail!!
So-- I got nothin’ new, beyond idle curiosity over a strange Ohio law.
FYI Dan, In your state, Florida it appears to be illegal to burn “garbage” as well. Al least y’all had the sense to clarify the rules. Says vegetative debris is Ok to burn. Interestingly, folks who live where garbage pickup is available are prohibited from burning yard waste (the way I read it). Also says permits for agricultural or silvicultural open burning are given by the state Forestry Dept (I’m thinking large-scale burning).
I just checked ours and they are much the same, including the bit about the Forestry people. It also tells you what you can’t use to start your fire (old tires, for one thing 
).
I may be in trouble.