I Hate My Neighbors

My neighbors moved in about five years ago. They are the epitome of the all-American family. I hate them.

OK, hate is too strong a word. But I sure wish they would move away. And they’re doing nothing wrong, or at least, illegal, or even uncommon. It’s just that everything they do annoys me.

They have a dog. I’ve lived around dogs, and owned several myself, for over 50 years, and I’ve never heard a dog like this. They put him out every morning around 7AM, and he immediately starts… I don’t know how to describe it. Not exactly barking, not exactly crying, but it sounds like he’s being tortured. I know he’s fine; I can see him over the fence. But if you heard him, you would swear that somebody is using a power drill on him. Makes it very hard to sleep. I’m retired, and I like to sleep late. I have to use a white noise generator at full volume.

They have a truck. A big fat diesel pickup. It is louder than the garbage truck, and smells worse. They start that up every morning at 7AM, too, and let it idle for ten minutes or so. They never haul or tow anything that I’ve seen, they just use it to go to work and the store. It’s completely flat around here, and the roads are nicely paved.

They do take a ski trip once a year, for about a week. So naturally, they put studded tires on it for three months a year. It has never snowed more than an inch in the 15 years I’ve lived here, and it’s never stuck more than a couple hours. Most years, we get no snow at all.

From which you might infer we have a mild climate. We do indeed. Almost constant wind, lots of rain in the winter, but very mild temperatures. And yet, they have a woodburning stove, which they are liable to use any time it’s below 60 degrees. And of course, they are directly upwind of me. I know they have wood, because they use their chainsaw on it at, you guessed it, 7AM, but it smells like they also burn their old socks and tires. Whatever, it rains a lot here, and so I like to air out the house when the rain stops, but now I have to keep my windows shut when they burn something, which is often.

Seriously, what is the difference between using a wood stove, and dumping their garbage on their front lawn? In each case, they would save 40 bucks a month, at the expense of their neighbors. The papers will blow away into their neighbors’ yards, and the crows will eat most of the food scraps. It might stink, but they won’t have to pay the 40 bucks for garbage service, which is about all they could be saving with their wood stove, even if they get the wood for free. I have electric heat, and my bill is only about 40 bucks higher in the winter than the summer (no air conditioning, don’t need it). In the summer, when they STILL burn wood when the lows are in the 50’s, they can’t be saving more than ten bucks a month. I never even have my heat on from May to October.

The constant woodpile is probably a great home for ticks and termites, too.

And of course, their kids shriek when they play, and they do their lawn mowing and leaf blowing on weekend mornings.

A weak rant, I know. They’re not really doing anything wrong. I just wish they would move away.

They sound like cool people. To me.

ETA: Motherfuckingsonofabitch. Sorry, didn’t realize this was the pit.couldn’t tell by the OP, that’s for sure.

Why do you hate America so?

I know, right?

People! What can you do?

So annoying! Dreadfully boring! Exasperatingly predictable!

:::::sigh::::

Oh the unbearable sounds of children at play:eek:.

Glad you agree. Would you guess that my favorite comedian is WC Fields?

Southern Maryland is the home of lots of car guys and a couple of race tracks. Our neighbor races, and he’s got his car in a trailer, except when he’s working on it - then it’s in the driveway revving and revving and revving… He’s a nice guy and he doesn’t work on his car constantly, but it does seem to happen on pleasant days when I have the house open - VVVROOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! VVVROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Yeah, I know, weak sauce. But I can’t yell at him to stay off my lawn, so I need to complain about something.

Stoopit race car…

Tony, I can totally get behind your rant. As you say, they aren’t doing anything illegal or even technically wrong, but it would all annoy the shit out of me, too. Some people just seem to have a knack for never, ever thinking about how their actions affect the people around them - your neighbours are experts in this field.

ETA: Actually, the annoying dog might be illegal - dogs aren’t allowed to be nuisances, I don’t think. You might want to check on your noise bylaws, too - see if they start at 8:00 am or 7:00 am.

I’m with you on that. The shrieking right outside my door is maddening.

Sartre addressed your situation:

‘Hell is other people’.

Have you thought of having them all over for dinner?

I’d be knocking on their door everyday at 7:01 AM to ask if their dog is okay.

I’m guessing the OP is referring to that annoying, ear-piercing shriek that some kids insist on making…you know, that noise that your parents told you to never, ever make unless you were being kidnapped or something? There’s a big, big difference between the noise of children at play and that horrific shrieking.

They wouldn’t hear the knock over the idling truck.

I swear, this sounds just like the people across the street, except they work at Costco, and get up at 4:30, turning on the 25000-watt porch lights and start up the truck at 5:30.

And they have three dogs.

Actually, we can only hear the truck, but they and their dogs absolutely drove the people who lived next door to them away. Some new people moved in. I’m waiting to see how long they last.

You know what else makes kids shriek?

Deny you’ve had thought about it?

I’m with the OP on this rant. I’m sitting here reading this to my hubby & we’re pointing out all the neighbors around us who fall into these categories.

We also have 5 neighbors around us who let their dogs roam the neighborhood at will.
Just a couple of weeks ago, 1 of the roaming “packs” killed & ate one of the other roaming dogs & the cops were called on the owner (of the pack leader --lab/pit-mix of course…) since the pack was still eating the body when the victim’s owner saw it. The neighborhood’s “roaming dog society” was appalled & picked sides & they still let their dogs roam at large…
It seems everywhere we move, there’s at least 1 really bad dog owner.

I swear, it’s not America anymore, it’s redneckistan. A whole bunch of asshat neighbors who don’t care about anyone else, just themselves.

What, you mean feeding the entire family into an industrial wood chipper?

No, no, no, I’ve never thought about it. No. No.

Well, yes.

Dogs are easy - ultrasonic bark stoppers. I have 6 - 4 along the rear fence for the new dog, two on the side as reminders to those mutts.

Some of them can be activated by remote - even if I carry nothing else around the house (I am also retired/disabled), that clicker is with me.

Unless your town is Redneck Central, the police may become involved if enough people complain often enough.

Studded tires are illegal where I live - didn’t know they were still made. From the fact that they do remove them, I’m guessing they do so because of local laws which permit their use during specific dates.
These board frown on suggestions of illegal actions, but killing a vehicle is easy.

Threads like this make me extremely grateful for my current neighbors.

One has grandchildren reminiscent of the kids on the original The Addams Family, but at least they don’t come over every weekend and they don’t shriek.

Those work?! There’s a little yappy mini-Pinscher who lives in the apartment downstairs who loves us when she gets to see us and be petted, but (my theory is) she knows that her only value to her owners other than being cute is to be an alarm. So we come in the outer door and she barks and barks and barks even if we say hello (so she knows it’s us) and since it’s a controlled-access place with only them and us… yeah, don’t really need a “guard” dog.

Hmm, we have pet rabbits, I wonder if those bark stoppers would bother the bunnies. :frowning: