Okay folks, some simple, courteous rules to follow when you’re on a bowling league:
Show up on time.
Okay, I’ll forgive you for that one - we’re all late occasionally. But you’re still ass-nuggets.
Stop flapping your fucking jaws and pay attention to the goddamned game. It’s a pain in the ass waiting for you to notice that you’re up.
Fuck you for doing this.
You have your own table. Why the fuck do you insist on standing in front of ours, thereby keeping us from seeing the action?
Fuck you up the ass with a razor-studded broomstick for doing this, you scrotum-sucking sphincter freaks.
And to add insult to injury, how many sloppy strikes did you fucking throw? And how many of my pocket balls resulted in a pin left standing? Fuck you to hell.
Please don’t start a ‘story’ just when I am getting up to bowl and expect me to stand there and listen to your long windedness. I am here to bowl.
(To another bowler on another team) Please avoid touching any of our bowlers. This is our dance space. That is your dance space. Whether you have personal space issues or are in the closet and like touchy-feely, or rode the short bus Manners Class in Life; do it to your own team. Not ours, m’kay?
I thought that this was going to be a rant against open bowlers who have no idea about lane etiquette.
You know, you’re lined up for a shot, about to step when suddenly the moron in the lane right next to you blows by you. Your concentration is now gone so you either try and stop without pulling something or you throw a shitty ball that goes off in a random direction.
Then you try and explain to the person politely about how you are supposed to wait while people are on the approach in the adjacent lanes and they look at you like you’ve assumed the position of “League Bowler Asshole.”
Yeah, that’s what I thought this would be about too. That behavior annoys me to no end. I’ve been tempted on occasion to “accidentally” slip in mid-approach and send my 16-pounder into their personal space.
I’ve come to expect distractions when I’m bowling on open lanes. Fortunately the house where I bowl as 50 lanes, so they are usally good at putting space between people when possible – especially if they know you’re a league bowler.
But complaining about interactions between teams is just crazy! Maybe because I’m in a gay league; but we are there to socialize with other teams in addition to the bowling. And it’s kind of rude to not give the little “high-five” or “fist-bump” to the other team for their good and bad shots.
Good for you. Feel better about yourself now that you’ve expressed this opinion?
We had a team in our league that used league time as drinking and yelling time. That’s fine, as long as you actually bowl your damn games. But nope, they were too busy talking to bowl. Always the last team finished. Miserable to bowl against because they took so long. Always caused awards night to drag out because of them not finishing. Luckily, they didn’t come back this year.
Homebrew: you wrongly attributed that quote to me.
That said, I don’t take the game THAT seriously - I’m really just there to have fun (which is a good thing since I’ve been bowling so poorly this season!). However, I do pay attention to what’s going one, as a simple courtesy to the other teams. Not too much to ask, methinks.
Heh. Well, you know what I mean: my ball rolls right into the pocket, I start doing my strike dance (not that I get to do it that often anymore), then I realize that the goddamned ten pin is still standing. Fuck you ten pin. Die, die, die!!! :mad:
My series this week sucked donkey balls. I think I’ve hit my average once in the last two weeks. :smack:
Is it a weak-10 or hard-10? If it’s weak, move a board to the right. If it’s a hard 10, you’re hitting the pocket a bit high. Move a board to the left.
are we talking folks with 250+ averages? or poor schlubs like me who cheer if they get over 130?
it makes a difference. In a league where the mean average is in the mid to upper 200’s, yeah, respect the game and the rules thereof.
in a fun league, where the social aspect is as important as the score, not so much (except the foot over the line thing - that’s carved in stone)
While I agree with your take on the “social” aspect of “fun leagues”, that does not excuse inconsiderate behavior. For example, I bowl in 9 PM leagues (since I don’t get off work till 7). Invariably, there are always a couple of teams from the early shift still bowling after 9 due to “socializing”. Not only that, but when we go down to our lanes to get ready (and I’m talking 2 or more pairs over), they piss and moan to the desk that our preparation is distracting them! Look, guys, I understand that this is your night out with your friends, but have some consideration for the leagues that follow you. If you want to BS, fine. That’s what the bar is for.
And as long as we’re on a bowling rant here, how about the 120 average bowler who stands on the approach for a freaking ETERNITY before finally making their shot? Look, bozo, if you don’t know what you’re gonna do when you get up there, do you honestly think that extra 15-20 seconds is gonna make one damned bit of difference?
