I cook as a hobby and while I’d never put myself forward as a great chef I like to think I do alright for myself. So it’s absolute murder for me to get invited to relatives for a holiday dinner. Everything is absolutely terrible; the food is only on the edge of edible.
So I put you turkeys roasted until they’re dehydrated as Antarctica’s dry valley. And green bean casserole that is closer to rancid soup. Fuck you instant mashed potatoes that lack seasoning and screw you too canned cranberry sauce. Screw off canned vegetables boiled until they’re brown and sweat potatoes with so much extra sugar on top that it sends it me into insulin shock.
Now if you don’t mind I need to find a place where I can pick up a sandwich on the way home.