Cognoscant, it sounds as if you have the makings of a business analyst or a project manager. You can get PM training online fairly quickly.
The bonus of being a BA or PM with your background is that it will be easier for you to understand what the software dev and the analysts are doing.
Also, having Typo Knig and Typo Negative post right after each other is confusing. But then, I’m easily confused.
Cognoscant, there’s a bunch of IT or IT-ish people here, perhaps some of us could help with your resume or give you contacts, and those LinkedIn “thumbs ups” on skills. I’m starting to hate those because people assign to me skills I’m not interested in listing, but so long as you keep the list trimmed they can be helpful with the headhunters.
It sounds to me like your skills are great-- managing people, working with data, research, writing, more than basic IT-- these are the bread and butter of A LOT of positions in just about any organization. If you can do these things well, that is valuable stuff. People have made very good careers out of a lot less than that. You are a little stuck in that awkward place where you aren’t quite technical enough to be one of the techies, and not quite senior enough to be management (a place I know quite well), but that can be navigated through once you find the right place.
The issue here is not your skills, but your field. Your field is not sustainable, and it seems to me like you need to find a new one. The good news is those skills are useful in just about any field. But you’ll need to work on your storytelling (in resumes, cover letters, interviews, networking) to really make the story of your career immediately relevant to people.
A good place to start is to look at resumes on LinkedIn of people who have worked in your field. Look for people who have shifted gears. Where are they going? What do their career paths look like? What fields are related to your field? Barring that, what field would you like to be in?
I think you overestimate the skill set of a typical data analyst, as " I know some data analysis–but not any more than a freshman stats student" is less than many people working in that field (my company employees quite a few of them).
While ETL is an option, the rounded nature of your skills might make BI a fun direction for you to take.
If you can share the info, where are you now and where is it you want to live?
I sympathise, I know the feeling, I used to be a gas mantle designer
First, move back home. Be with your family. Nothing else is important in this situation; job skills and jobs are transient anyway. Figure out a way to live on your wife’s income alone, at least for awhile, while you take care of the kiddies and work on a new position. So what if it isn’t what you’re used to; those days will soon be done anyway if they aren’t already. Yes, get a career coach, there are plenty of them out there, and some are even good. Basically, what everyone else has said.
But give your notice and pack the truck today. You need to move home and your family needs you to do it.
I wish I could pull that trigger, ElvisL1ves. I just can’t bring myself to do it. And I think that my wife wouldn’t want me back under those circumstances…and I fear what would happen if I left a job without one to go to. If I’m already unsure about what I could do for a living I could be without work for a long time.
I did apply for one job yesterday–fingers crossed on that one. And I am talking to the career counselor next week. She has my resume, so hopefully she can suggest something helpful. So maybe things are looking a bit up. They need too, these last few days at work have been sheer hell, with me making mistake after mistake. Hope I’m still employed by the time I hear back from the job I applied for…
Have you asked her? And if not, why not? If you both want it to work, you can make it work. But you do have to communicate, whether or not you’re in the same place.
Millions of people are in that situation at any given time, and without the luxury of being able to plan ahead for it. But it usually works out, and in a matter of only months.
Good luck to you, no matter what.
Sounds like the OP and his SO should work together on what their long range goals are. From his description, they are very independent of each other without much regard to what is best for the family as a whole. I’m only going off what the OP has shared, I could be wrong.
Why, did she marry your job?
She is afraid that my depression will get worse if I have no job to go to during the day. She might be right. But then, if things get worse and worse here (as they are) I will probably be dumped out of my job anyway. She keeps making noises about only wanting me to come back if I can get “an equivalent job” back there. Well, if I could have found one I wouldn’t have come here in the first place. Sometimes I wonder whether she really does want me back at all.
Is she also concerned that your depression will get worse staying in a job you hate far away from your family? That seems like the bigger concern, as far as I can see.
I agree with ElvisL1ves. It’s time to go home.
Cogno, you know I’ve followed your other thread. I didn’t post, but I remember last fall I was so pissed at something your wife said to you that I cleared an area of the yard of English ivy in no time. I think it was that she wasn’t defending what you’re doing to your kids who resented your being gone. I wanted to slap her.
It’s time for you to do what’s right for YOU. You’re miserable where you are, and some of us have known that for months. ENOUGH. Clearly it’s very unhealthy for you, physically and mentally. If you do what’s right and healthy for you and your wife doesn’t like it, that will tell you a lot about her, won’t it? I think there might be some co-dependency going on? Why doesn’t she want what’s best for you?
Hugs. I truly wish you the best outcome, whatever that may be.
I know it. I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place, stuck on one hand at this job I don’t like and I fear on a pretty much daily basis I’m going to be fired at (and, on top of that, having pretty much zero life outside of work and honestly not wanting to have one) and on the other hand watching my wife and kids quickly becoming totally independent of me. My kids don’t even want to talk to me on the phone anymore. They don’t want to see me on the rare occasions when I can come home. I am just not a part of their lives any more, and that is wrecking me even further. When and if I do come back, it will be as an interloper.
I think the same is true with my wife. When I talk to her about moving back she always cuts me off and says “I want you to come back for the right reason.” Really? Being with my family again isn’t the right reason? “I want you to have a job that is as good as the one you have now.” Hello? Do you remember why I had to move here in the first place, because there WASN’T a good job in the area to be had? And do you realize how difficult it’s going to be to look for a job up there when I’m down here? I’m pretty much at the mercy of headhunters unless something opens up that I could really do right away (and in a way something has…I have applied for one job).
I’m really, really scared because I am starting to realize that I am stuck. I can stay here and fear every day that I am going to lose my job and know that I am drifting away from my family more and more. Or, I can go back to a wife and family who are just not the same and don’t want me as much as they used to. I’m honestly not sure our marriage would survive too long, the way things are. And I’m truly starting to go off the rails here, I am starting to call helplines out of desperation, just for someone to talk to because I still don’t know anybody here and I have nobody else to talk to. This is not going to end well.
Cogno, are you in danger of hurting yourself? How you’re talking is really scaring me. I think a lot of it is the depression. Don’t do anything, please. I know that there are people here who will have suggestions for you.
I’m not much help, but feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.
Have you thought about looking for Business Analyst jobs? The type who writes requirements, researches solutions and writes lengthy documents for IT development teams to work from? Management or project managmenet experience usually helps here too, but not a necessity.
It seems like it might be a good fit given you’ve got research and writing experience.
Good luck, and I echo that you need to move home. Being out of work is very rough, but (a) they do make pills that can help and (b) even though you might not be a job, I think you’ll be much happier just being near your kids.
I’m worried too to be honest. I’m starting to feel like there’s no solution to my problems, which is a really scary place to be. I know everyone is suggesting that I go home, but I am afraid that if I go home now it will tear apart my marriage as my wife doesn’t want me to come home without a job. What I’m really scared of is that I get fired. I am not doing well at my job at all and I am afraid that I am going to be written up, probably as early as this week. While that may not be the worst thing in the world (it will probably get me to finally go on short-term disability for my bipolar disorder and allow me to get some help) it does take me one step closer to being fired. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. I’m not sure my wife and kids would take me back.
Can you talk to your therapist tomorrow?
I feel like we’ve been going round and round with this along with you for way more than a year, so I can only imagine how exhausting it must be from your perspective. You’ve been given supportive noises and advice and direction, from us and your family and what seems like a succession of professionals, but honestly it seems like you consistently choose the option that is least likely to lead to success or even a somewhat stress-reduced life.
You were terrified that you were going to get fired from your last job, but you weren’t. You’re terrified you’re going to get fired from this job, but you’ve been there for a year without so much as a verbal warning. Your therapist told you over a year ago to take leave from work and go on disability, but you still haven’t done so- so you’re getting something out of continuing to work, and you’re at least faking it well enough to get people to think you’re doing a good job. Is it possible that things aren’t nearly as bad at work as they seem, and you’re not only catastrophising but also somewhat enjoying the chaotic feeling of catastrophising?
A year ago you had a horrible visit from your family, and actually stopped talking to your kids for a while as a result. You were fighting on every phone call with your wife. Have you done anything in the past year to work on the situation, or have you hid yourself in 80 hour work weeks that aren’t required and sleeping the rest of the time?
If you moved back home, what would change? If you stayed where you are, what can you do to change what you perceive as being a problem (I personally would start with insisting that your family stick to the plan that they agreed to- come summer, your wife and daughter move to be with you, whether your daughter pitches a fit about it or not. You are the adult, she is the child, the family does not revolve around her).