Oh, FFS. Yes, we know you hate children. We know that you think every single parent believes that their special snowflake must be revered and accommodated and you take every opportunity to tell us that, by gum, you’re just not going to do that! They had a choice! It’s not your responsibility!
But you’re actually the idiot here, claiming that **echo6160 **is on some child-loving high horse (uh, OK, that doesn’t really sound like what I want to express…), given that the first response s/he posted to the OP was:
Now who’s not reading for comprehension? echo6160 said nothing about all children being teh bomb, but as usual you seem to feel that anyone who doesn’t want to shoot kids and their parents on sight automatically has fallen victim to the Cult of the Child.
Thanks for putting words in my mouth. I said I empathize with the Mom. I also said that if the OP cuts some slack it’s for the kid and not the Mom.
I pick my words with care on this topic since there are a whole buttload of bigots out there that think children with special needs ought to be drowned at birth or locked away out of sight in a room somewhere.
Any of us, at any time, could suddenly have a child, spouse, loved one or ourself become ‘special needs’. Accidents happen, changing our lives. Hopefully, people will be kind, and helpful, but we can’t expect everyone to accommodate us.
The OP is in a difficult situation where the neighbor won’t allow a little flexibility for a short time from someone who sounds like he/she has always been a good neighbor. That sucks. Giving in to this only delays the confrontation. There will probably be another issue. And another.
I think the OP should just say, Sorry, it’s only for a short time. The neighbor may begin to realize that she won’t always win.
Oh FFS. Loving, hating or neutral on children, it still doesn’t give anyone the right to impose on their neighbors because suddenly it’s just become too hard to deal with their personal choices. That is the major reason I don’t like kids - I was neutral on them until it became common for parents to demand the rest of the world to help them raise their kids. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, I am simply not interested in being required to spend my money, time, effort and nerve endings on that choice, particularly when I am taxed, regulated and vilified for my choices.
All I said was I was surprised it took until page 2 for someone to suggest that the OP should cut the neighbor slack because of her kid. You want to drag other shit into the discussion, that’s your problem not mine.
And that is different how than what I said? Other than you say to cut the slack for the kid, the result is the same. Particularly in the case of the OP, since it doesn’t appear that it is the kid herself that needs the bus to show up at the doorstep. You went on about how nice it would be if the bus came to your doorstep and how walking to and waiting at the bus stop is one of many stresses, then you go on to tell the OP how she is doing a “good turn for the child” after the OP said the child doesn’t need the bus to come to the door. Your overall post was essentially all about the parent.
Your post was pretty clear that raising such kids is a lot of work, and that parents of those kids should be cut slack. I don’t care what you do with your child, as long as you are not imposing on the rest of the world and expecting them to inconvenience themselves to make your life easier. Which is what the OP’s neighbor is doing.
I am a “board certified” crip and have the legal right to impose a hell of a lot on the rest of the world. However, even tho I am not a crip by any choice of mine, I do as little imposing as possible because it isn’t the responsibility of anyone else either. As I said, for all I know, any random person that I might impose on could be having an even harder time than I am.
And yes, there are those who think that people who can no longer work should be put to sleep.
Yes, mom is using the kid as a hostage. I would let the bus in for the kid’s sake, not her’s. I’d buy old sheets from Goodwill for three dollars and use that instead of a car tarp, then throw them away after poop season.
Somebody once said “when a fantaic confronts a reasonable man, the fanatic always wins; but only just barely.”
LonesomePolecat, I think **Autolycus **has been playing too many video games. In some of them you need alchemy as a skill to create better gear and stuff
TupeloRose, I don’t really have a solution, because the neighbor definitely is using her daughter as a weapon (“Why can’t you do what I want for the sake of my poor *special needs *child, you big meaniepants?!?”) which is a shame because it isn’t the kid’s fault she has a disability and that her mom’s an entitled [CENSORED].
I would, however, advise you to avoid doing anything passive-aggressive like the parking stops or calling the bus company; that just puts them on the spot in your personal dispute and if they haven’t heard a complaint before now they have no reason to know this is a problem for you. It’s also liable to give her a shit fit and I’d be worried about possible retaliation. I work for the town government and I’ve seen neighbor disputes get downright ugly, ranging from diverting rain gutters onto someone else’s property to dumping leaves on lawns to vandalism.
You either have to tell the neighbor calmly, politely, and firmly that you’re parking your car where it won’t get blueberry-bombadiered for the next couple weeks and she needs to be understanding because you accomodate her the rest of the year, or let her have her way to keep the peace, bird-bombs and all. But like someone upthread said, this probably won’t be the last problem you have with her and if you don’t stand up for yourself now it’s liable to blow up somewhere down tht line.
Father of an autistic child who does have curbside pick-up and drop-off by a school bus/van…and now…some USEFUL advice:
Take the parent AND the bus driver out of the equation. Get the bus number, address and time that the bus is p/u-d/o, and call the school district’s transportation department, Talk to the supervisor/router and explain your situation in your best mannerism…chances are, the supervisor/router may not even know that your property is being used as a 3point turning area for their bus. More than likely, they will respect your request/rights and make a change regarding how the bus picks up this child. Mom will probably flip when the change is made, but the school district would rather err on the side of legality rather than an entitled mom’s rantings.
As a side note…not all parents of autistic kids feel entitled where it impedes the rights of others…the mother is the exception, not the rule. But…I will advocate for my son when necessary to maintain his rights.
I think you’re in the right. I would remind her politely but firmly that you have tried to accomadate her as much as possible as a favor, and she should appreciate it. remind her it is your property and you can park there as often as you like, she has no right to make demands on where you park, and should learn how to ask politely. I have no idea how hard or easy it might be to change the routine for her daughter, but if she can go to the mall it sure sounds like she can walk to the bus stop for a few days. You might ask her to explain rationally why she can’t walk to the bus stop. Tell her you think it’s pretty selfish of her to think she can make demands about where you park on your own property and she’d better learn to say please and thank you to her good neighbor if she expects any consideration in the future.
If she can’t handle or appreciate that kind of directness and honesty, be done with her.
OTOH, if her daughter truly freaks out in a major way walking to the bus, you may have to recant.
I think she’s kinda like a street performer. Random barking at whomever will listen. No tickets required, and the show content may be inappropriate at times.
I’m surprised at all the suggestions for getting a tarp. Sounds to me like a huge pain in the ass to have to put in on and take off avery damn time you want to use your car – especially after it gets all covered with bird shit. Ick.
Rose, you have been a kind neighbor and have made a reasonable accomodation for the sake of a child. Good for you. Neighbor-lady’s appropriate response is gratitude mixed with the understanding that you might not be able to make this kind accomodation every fucking day of your life. If she is unable or unwilling to act appropriately, screw her.
^^ This is the best response I’ve seen so far. If your neighbor is unwilling to go the “adults working together to find the best solution” route, do it without her. Much as I love the concrete barrier idea, I agree that it probably isn’t your best move at this time. It’s something to keep in your back pocket if things escalate, though.
To add further, it’s the Mom who is the one who really can’t deal with the change (and also uses her kid as the crutch)…but more than likely, the kid WILL be able to deal with the change in this particular scenario… it’s the mom who is stuck on the possible loss of control of her “ideal” situation, especially when she erroneously feels entitled to any ideal situation when it comes to her kid vs. disregarding other peoples’ rights. I would not let this situation continue, no matter which side of the issue I would have been on if I was in this scenario.
