I Pit My "Entitled" Neighbor

I have lurked on your board for some time, and this is my first post. I really could use some advice. Here goes:

My neighbor that lives across the street from me has an 8 year old daughter that has mild autism. We have a poorly paved secondary drive that runs in front of our two houses. The special ed bus comes down this drive and picks the child up for school. That has not been a problem for the past 4 years with the bus coming down to pick up the child, as I only have one car, and there is vacant parking right at the end of our houses with about 3 spaces on both my neighbor’s side and the same amount of vacant parking on my side. Please know that the child walks and runs just like the rest of us, she just has cognitive and intellectual issues.

Now come the flocks of birds, eating on all kind of wild berries all over trees and shrubs in our neighborhood. My car has been looking like someone threw blueberries all over it. The past 2 mornings I have spent over and hour and a half each time scrubbing this crap off my car.

Today, I decided to park in the middle space on my side of the parking area, as it is the only parking space where there are no extending overhead tree limbs.

Well, as you can imagine, all heck broke loose with the neighbor. She told me that the bus has to come down here and turn around and let her special needs child off in front of her house. The main bus pick up for all the other kids in the neighborhood is 60 feet from her front door. But no, she will not hear of that, and tells me that I absolutely have to move my car, as her child is entitled to have the bus drop her off at her front door.

I tried to explain to the neighbor that I have issues with my car being dumped on with all the bird crap and that was the only space where I could park without getting all the bird crap on the car. She told me she could not control where the birds crap and I told her that I could control where I park my car.

So, we are at a standoff to say the least. She would not even concede to allowing me to stay parked in that spot until the birds finish their berry attack
(hopefully within a week) and then I could go back to parking under the trees.
She is too lazy to walk her child 60 feet to the bus stop which would keep me from having to go out and wash my car every morning until this bird crap is over.

We are about the only side street that does not have all the extra parking spaces filled, so she has been lucky with the bus being able to come down here and turn around.

She tells me that I do not care about her special needs child. But I have rights as well. Why should I have to get up and wash bird crap off my car so that she does not have to walk her child 60 feet to the bus stop? Am I right or wrong?

Car Tarp.

Welcome to the boards!

There may be a valid reason why this woman can’t walk her daughter to the bus stop. Autistic kids often don’t accept change all that well, and the change in routine may cause problems that can take a while to sort out. There are also other issues, which is why the girl is on a different bus in the first place.

I second drewtwo’s suggestion of a car tarp. It takes you a few minutes to put on and take off, and it makes everyone’s life easier.

Or you can be like me, and not give a rat’s ass what your car looks like for a little while! :smiley:

By the way, assuming you’re in the U.S. your birds are probably cedar waxwings.

Has anybody even asked the bus driver if s/he’ll be able to turn around with the car there?

I’m having a hard time understanding the parking situation but, if you are parked in a legal parking space then you have every right to park there. You have been doing her a favor for years by walking the extra distance. That does not mean you are morally required to continue to do her the same favor. Does she really expect all of humanity to avoid the parking spaces she has decided are off limits? She should contact the local government and have them mark the areas that the bus needs to traverse or she should just cut you some slack for a few days for the years of slack you have cut her.

You are interpreting this as laziness, but I suspect it’s more about her daughter’s low threshold for coping with change, which is pretty common in people with autism.
It’s a shame she wasn’t able to approach you calmly and explain the situation, you might have had a different reaction to the one you’re having now.

Thanks for the replies. About the parking spaces, there are 3 on my property and 3 on the neighbor’s property. So, the bus actually has to come onto my property to be able to turn around. I have known this neighbor for 10 years and have really had few issues with her till now.

I know full well of her daughter’s condition and have even provided child care for this child. They take this child out in public, to the malls and to restaurants, so she is quite capable of walking a small ways to the public bus stop. But like I said, the mom does not want to accomodate me for a few days until the bird bombing stops.

I guess it all boils down to being told what I can and can not do by someone that has no authority to demand that of me. I should not have to buy a car cover to protect my car when there is a parking space on my property that is free of being bird bombed.

I can’t even have company over and have cars parked on my 3 spaces on my property without her calling me demanding that we have to move the cars because the bus can not come down and turn around. I feel her plight but I really think I have rights as to park on my own property and she should just go pound sand if she does not like it. I am tired of being her doormat.

I third this suggestion. OP, you could even get a few price quotes to make it easier for your neighbor to buy you one.

If I understand this correctly, you are parking in spots that are on your property? You should tell your neighbor that you are more than willing to work with her to come up with a solution you both can live with, but that she has no right to make demands.

Well, find a polite way to tell that cunt to go pound sand. You pay for the property, you get to decide what to do with it.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I’ve been in similar situations, even before 1992 and the outdoor lunch scene in *A Few Good Men, * when I’ve agreed with the other person’s point but insisted on one and only one condition: “You have to start this conversation all over again, and this time ask me nicely.”

I vote for this one.

She’s complaining about where you park on your own property? You got it right with “entitled neighbor,” alright. What would the bus driver do if for some reason all of your three parking spaces were always full? That’s what she should do now, while you’re protecting your car from bird bombs.

Full disclosure: I’m very territorial about my house and yard, and probably more extreme on this than your average person.

Car tarps aren’t cheap. What do you do with it once it’s covered in bird droppings?

You shouldn’t have to alter your behavior just because an overly sensitive child may be bothered by the change.

You are bothered by the birds pooping all over your car. I know all about diarrhea birds. My car has been the neighborhood toilet before, and it’s not fun at all dealing with it.

So why should your botherment take backseat to a little kid’s botherment? I could see if you were doing something douchy, like playing your music too loud. And I’m all for accomodating handicaps. But only within reason. If the neighbor is concerned that her daughter can’t handle this minor change, then what in the hell would she do if you decided to paint your house another color or replace the hydrangeas with azaleas? You should not have to alter your life just on the off-hand chance that a sensitive kid will be have a hard time about it.

I agree with monstro, too. I get the impression that this woman is looking for everyone in the world to accommodate her daughter’s issues; the world just isn’t going to do that for her, and she should probably find ways to deal with that.

I’d go with this suggestion…and if she gives you more crap, park across all three of YOUR spots, until she does so. :slight_smile:

I like the car tarp idea also.

Bolding mine

Now if I had my Irish up and was in your position, and she said that to me - I see the bus is trespassing on MY property, and I’d tell her politely, “Why don’t YOU make room on YOUR property for the bus to pick up YOUR daughter.” But that’s just me…when my Irish is up, and my French side starts to piss off the Irish side.

Yeah, I am talking about 3 parking places on My Property. The bus has to pull into her 3 parking spaces and then back up into my parking spaces to turn around and go up to her front door to pick up the kid.

I have been more than accomodating over this situation the past years but I have reached my limit. I really have tried to reason with this loon of a neighbor, but it is all about her. I really can’t believe I have put up with her mouth for so long. She really has no right to tell me where to park on my property.

So, I am really contemplating placing some concrete dividers in my parking spaces which would allow only autos to pull into the spaces. Since she can’t play nicely, I will take over my parking spaces and she can deal with it. That would be my nice way of telling her to go pound sand.

Why can’t the bus turn around using her spots?