I pit my eyeballs and these stupid contact lenses

The BBQ Pit
1

First pitting. Best person to start with is yourself, eh?

So I decided that I wasn’t pretty enough. Another thread for another day, perhaps. Anyway in my Quest To Be Prettier, I decided it was time to get contact lenses.

Went to the Dr. and he hooked me up with some gas permeable lenses. He admitted they were harder to get used to than the soft, disposable kind but they would definitely give me better vision and be cheaper over the long run. Seeing well is nice, so is saving $$. So i’m all over it. Besides, my mom has worn this type for 35 years so she can help me out, right?

I plunk down my $300 and come back in a few days to get them “installed” (why yes, i am a geek!)

He pops in the right one. It’s in! wow! yeah I can see!

I am charged with putting on the left one. No sweat. I sit there for 15 mins and try to get it in, with him and the assistant lady watching. Ok finally get it in. Let them sit, chit chat with the assistant. They are annoying as hell but they promise they’ll get better.

Then they gotta come out. About as hard - or harder - than putting them in. Damn damn (can’t swear in the dr’s office, so I am just clenching my teeth and joking about my inepitude here). Ok now they’re out.

Don’t worry! It’ll get easier with practice!

My mission: wear them 2 hours tomorrow, then an extra hour each day. Can-do!

The next day after all my shit is done I get ready for bed and put them in for 2 hours. Putting them in sucks. Wearing them for two hours, sucks. Getting them out sucks worse.

I get them sufficently stuck down on the whites of my eyes. They had shown me how to get them un-stuck by manipulating them through my eyelid and maneuvering my eyeball. Great. But they get stuck while I’m removing. So it takes like 25 mins to get the right one out, and my eye is definitely scratched.

Still scratched the next day. Owie. But the eyeball, being the amazing invention that it is, heals itself up. Super.

Back to the same routine. Another 3 hrs. This doesn’t include the 15 mins of getting them in and 25 mins of getting them out. ARGH!!!

Friday. 5 hrs (thursday was more of the same). Today I decide I’ll pop’em in and go visit my friend. Get them in. What a drive!! Annoyingly itchy but I can see. I make it there in 1 piece but tell him he’s gotta drive, I’m done for today. I fall asleep over his house for a bit, just gotta rest my eyes…more itchy and scratchy. FUCK!!! ARRRRRGHHH!!! I wait till 1 am to leave so I can remove them first (5 hrs up) and i stand in his bathroom swearing my brains out trying to get them out again. He is neither compassionate nor understanding as he doesn’t think I need them and doesn’t wear lenses himself.

SATURDAY…god DAMMIT. My mom finally gets a chance to step in. She gives me some good tips. They go in after some whining and complaining and swearing and wisdom. I’m slated to go out in a coupla hours…I was going to just take them out before I left and forget the 6-hour rule but I tough it out and leave them in.

Shaving in the shower while able to see - that’s cool! woot!

So I go out. I get to wear SUNGLASSES while I drive! So hip!

Something happened with some communication with my lunch date so I end up spending 2 hrs in the car waiting. In this time I am getting more miserable about my eyes being so uncomfortable, so I decide even tho it’s only been like 3 hrs, I am gonna take them out.

Easier said than done.

Imagine me sitting in my truck in the restaurant parking lot, hovering over my coat trying to get the lenses out. THEY WON’T COME OUT!!! And all the while I am getting nervous that my peeps will show up and i’ll have one in and one out, and have to either peel the one out or go through the bullshit of putting the other one back in.

AAARRRGGHHHH!!!

Finally, they come out. This time, I swear - 45 mins.

Today I was all f’d up, sleep wise, so I didn’t get a chance to put them in until 9-ish. I figure better SOME time than NONE.

Today I just CAN NOT DO IT. They WON’T go in.

My fucking eyeballs are so deep-set into my fat head that I can’t hardly get them open wide enough to pop this concave piece of glass into them. My eyelashes are long (and beautiful - right? A good argument for getting these fuckers in the first place) and snap closed like a fucking venus flytrap as soon as the lense gets closer. I’m covered in “solution” and i can’t grasp my eyelids and AAARRGGHHH!!!

My mom is feeling upset that I’m so upset. I try it sitting down, standing up, bending over, standing straight, looking up, looking down. FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!

So then, being the girly girl that I am (somtimes I have to stoop to this level), start to cry.

CRYING ISN’T GOING TO HELP ANYTHING YOU PANSY ASS SON OF A BITCH!!!

Now my eyes are red and irritated and I have NO contacts in and my fucking head hurts and if I were my younger self, many items in the house would bebroken right now.

What the FUCK is wrong with me that I can’t perform a simple task that I have done for 5 days in a row now and ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COUNTRY DOES EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY WITH NO PROBLEM!??!?!

I mean…GOSH!!!

I am getting really upset that I just wasted $300 on this futile attempt to get prettier.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my glasses - at least how I look in them. It’s just time for a goddamn change. And besides, now I am seeing my glasses as a sign of weakness that these fucking contacts have beaten me down.

And before you all start preaching about “being pretty” there’s other good reasons for wanting contacts. Namely, I work out and do karate and swim every day and being blind during those activities, or having your glasses constantly fall off your face, or just plain having them full of specks is NO FUN AND I AM SICK OF IT.

And no, I’m not a 17 year old girl either. I am a fucking ADULT and can’t seem to GET IT RIGHT!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Thanks for listening. Fuck, that was long.

2

ZipperJJ, aside from financial considerations, do you have an eye condition that contributed to the doctor recommending hard contacts? Astigmatism perhaps? Just curious.

Hopefully, it will improve. When my soft contacts used to get stuck to my eyes, I would take a very long shower and the humidity would loosen them up.

Good luck!

3

I wear gas permeable lenses, so I’ve been through some of the same things as you are going through now.

First; if you need to remove your lenses and they’re kind of stuck because your eyes are dry put some rewetting drops in your eyes.

Second; IANAO but if your leneses are getting extremely stuck on your eyes a lot of the time they might not fit correctly. My understanding is that they’re supposed to kind of float on the eye on a layer of tears. The doctor should put some dye in your eyes and look at them with a special light to make sure they don’t fit too tightly.

Third; They make a little rubber plunger to help with removal of GP lenses. My old lenses would come out if I pulled the corner of my eyelids outward and blinked. My new ones are larger and I either have to do the pushing through the eyelid thing (which I think makes it esier to scratch the cornea) or use the teeny plunger. The plunger is easy, just make sure your eyes are nice and wet.

I hope you can get used to them.

4

No, more power to you. You have every right to chose contact lenses over glasses if they make you feel more confident about your appearance.
I feel your pain. I wear soft contact lenses about 50% of the time, and glasses the other 50%. It took me two freaking appointments at the optometrists’ to even get the first contact lens in, never mind the second. It’s damn hard to overcome your body’s instinctive reaction of closing the eyelids tight when something gets so near your eyes, and if you stress out it’ll only make it worse. But it’s like learning to ride a bicycle - once you get the hang of inserting and removing contacts, all your troubles with them will be finished.
I would imagine, though, that dealing with hard contact lenses would make it all more difficult - are you sure you can’t wear soft lenses? Soft lenses are very comfortable, once they’re in your eyes you can’t feel them unless your eyes are dry. I would recommend that you speak with your optometrist about switching to soft lenses.

5

Thanks guys for your replies so far.

I calmed down for a while and finally got them in. I ended up getting out the lash curler and curling my lashes up (lol) and putting on a shower cap to keep my hair out of the way (lol2)

I do have an astigmatism, yes. My Dr gave me the option of soft, and I decided on hard. I mean really, it can’t be THAT hard to do this can it??

I will see him Tuesday and tell him what a bitch of a time I’m having. I mean I am really into having better vision. Without glasses I’m blind as a bat, and usualy need a new script every year. He posed that the lenses might help keep my prescription in tact and not change so much.

If I have such a rough time monday and tuesday, I will seriously consider soft. I think alot of people are wearing soft disposable thingies and that’s why they have such an easier time.

Really depends on if these things are return-able or not. I can’t really afford to flip-flop on this.

sigh

Man, pitting is cool tho. I should do it more often :wink:

6

If you can get the soft ones instead, I highly recommend them. I have astigmatism in both eyes and all I’ve ever worn are soft lenses. I love them. No more marks on my cheeks from those damn heavy glasses, among other benefits.

7

Contact lenses aren’t really for people that are afraid to touch their own eyes. Wash your hands, rinse them really well (soap, ouch), and then wet the finger you’ll be using with a bit of saline storage solution (osmotic imbalance caused by pure water, ouch).

I had soft extended wear disposables for most of my contact lens wearing days. It was mostly a matter of putting them on my eye and then they’d get into the right position on their own. I don’t know if that’s different for “hard” lenses. If your eyelashes are getting in the way, use one hand to pull up the top lid, and use a couple fingers on the other hand to pull down the lower lid.

Also, keep your thumb or other part of your hand in contact with your face at all times for support. It’s easier than trying to maintain a steady free floating hand

Getting my lenses out consisted of reaching in there, finding the edges, and doing a pinching motion. Again, I don’t know if that would do horrible things to hard lenses.

If you hadn’t already plunked down the money for hard lenses, I would have suggested test driving the soft lenses for a while. You may still want to go that route if the hard lenses don’t seem to be working out. My dad used one of those plunger things SP2263 mentioned when he had hard lenses. So you might want to give that a shot before throwing in the towel.

8

It is very likely that your optometrist would give you a pair of soft lenses for you to try out for free. Ask him/her for a trial pair and see if they are more comfortable and/or easier for you.

Also, as has been mentioned above, your own panic-blink reaction is your biggest enemy. It will be very, very difficult to put in your contacts until your body trusts you not to poke your eyes out. Then, all of a sudden, it will be easy.

mischievous

9

Also, my optometrist charges $85/year for soft contacts - it’s not that much more than you’ve already spent. You owe it to yourself to get whichever type is better for your eyes. Eye damage costs way more than contacts.

mischievous

10

I have worn contact lenses for years & years, gas permeables for about 10 years. For some reason I cannot wear soft ones, as they will not correct my vision enough to allow me to pass the driver’s test (nor can I pass it with my glasses).

I’m not sure why soft ones don’t work for me, because I have no astigmatism (everyone who examines my eyes comments on this, apparently it’s unusual) but I am extremely near-sighted.

Long ago when I got my first hard lenses I got the little rubber plunger thing someone else mentioned. In the early days of my contact lens wearing I used it all the time. Then I didn’t need it for years.

About a year ago I had an issue with one lens, which got stuck. Naturally this happened on a Sunday. I went to every optical place that was open (places of the One Hour Optical variety), and various pharmacies, and ended up having to go to am emergency room, where I managed to talk a nice nurse into giving me the plunger when I promised that I would never reveal where I got it. So I am not saying which hospital! What I’m saying is that you might find such an item very useful.

All this is background for which to say: Get Lasiked. Er, get your eyes Lasiked. If it isn’t a verb it should be. Did your eye doctor not mention this?

Contact lenses are an incredible hassle. They will get better, but they will not get much better. I have been wearing lenses since I was 12 years old (and they did in fact stop the progression of my myopia; I had the same prescription from age 12 to age 48) and my eyes are tough, and every day when I take the things out I say, “Ahhh.” Really. It’s like taking off shoes that don’t exactly hurt, but somehow constrict you. (Slight disclaimer: I live in Denver, which is a very dry climate and that may be a factor in my eyes’ continual discomfort and irritation. It’s bound to be easier in Cleveland.)

Get Lasik and never worry about your vision again until you’re 45 and get presbyopia. Ask around. I know about a hundred people who’ve had it and they all love it, even my friend who returns everything (she had two enhancements, though). I know one person who is a bit disappointed, but even he says he would do it again.

I would do it in a minute, myself, but the same thing that makes me a bad candidate for soft lenses apparently makes me a bad candidate for Lasik, in other words, usually they can guarantee it (20/20 vision or you pay nothing), but something about my eyes makes them unable to offer this guarantee to me. Probably they are calloused from wearing hard and gas-permeable contact lenses for 40 years.

11

I tried contacts for a few months back when I was in college. They never felt comfortable in my eyes, and nothing the Dr. or I tried ever helped; I finally decided that I liked glasses better, and threw the fuckers away.

I am a much happier boy now.

As for Lasik; everyone I know who has had it is happy, both of them! It’s not for me, however. I’ve heard too many tales of misfortune to be comfortable with doing unnecessary eye surgery for basically no reason. There is a small chance of blindness, and a much higher chance of improvement but still needing glasses to see. Fuck that noise! Your milage, of course, may vary.

Besides, girls with glasses are HOT! :cool:

12

I have worn contacts since I was 14 (almost 30 years.) Early on they were the hard kind. What I did was gently pull back the eyelid and slip them onto the white part of the eye. Then (again gently) I would use the eyelid to slide them into place.

13

I really have no idea why you would opt for hard lenses when you have the option of getting soft lenses. I got soft lenses thirteen years ago; at the same time, my friend got hard lenses. It took me a few weeks to get used to them. I also had the problem of trying to pry open my eyelids when they were stubbornly staying shut, when my fingers were wet from saline. I cried all over the place in the optometrist’s office, too, so don’t feel like you’re a girly girl – because I’m definitely not!

So after I got used to my soft contact lenses, my friend was still having problems with her hard contacts. She had to store them differently and clean them differently and generally had huge problems with them. One memorable time she took them out in the bathroom at school and the lens flipped across the room. While looking for it, she stepped on it. Crunch! $150 gone in a heartbeat.

Astigmatism can be corrected with soft lenses. I’ve got mild astigmatism, and I use CSI contacts. They are a bit stiffer than regular contacts and they help. If your doctor gave you the option RETURN those nasty hard contacts and get you some comfortable soft ones! You can still return them if you have the bottles they came in, or at least that’s the procedure at my office.

Seriously, keep us posted.

14

Try soft ones. They make soft ones that can do all sorts of fancy things these days.

I wore contacts for several years but my eyes started getting dryer so I went to glasses about a year ago. There is noticeably less hassle, I must say, and I’m wondering why I didn’t do that years ago.

There are ongoing expenses with contacts to remember as well, the cleaning supplies and whatnot.

They can be great, though, so do give the soft ones a try.

15

I feel your pain, ZipperJJ. About a year and a half ago, I decided to attempt contact lenses after wearing glasses since I was 13 (I’m 35 now). I have a ‘thing’ about sticking things in my eyes, but figured I’d try to suck it up.

I got a free trial pair of soft lenses and the instruction on how to put them in and take them out. Like you, I had the hardest time with taking them out. I lasted less than a day. I drove home from the store with them in (and they felt damned uncomfortable). After an hour or so, they were bugging enough that I though I’d take them out. It took me almost two hours and both eyes were completely red and bruised(feeling) afterwards. I threw them away that night and stuck with glasses.

16

I’ve been wearing soft lenses for eighteen years now, and recently switched to silicon lenses. They’re amazingly comfortable. It’ll take practice to learn how to insert and remove the lenses you have, but if the lenses themselves aren’t fitting correctly or irritate your eyes, let your doctor know and see if you can experiment with some other types.

17

Well a bit of an update. I had to wear them 8 hours today, and since I have bowling tonight (smoky alley + lenses = bad news) i had no choice but to wear them at work.

Rolled out of bed and popped them in. Took me like 3 tries - better than 100 right?

I have had them in all day, staring at the computer here. I’ve put drops in a couple times. They don’t feel TOO bad but they’re annoying. From what I’ve read, that’s to be expected for a while.

As for Lasik…dude, I’m fretting over $300, what makes you think I can afford Lasik? hehe

Actually, that’s my long-term goal. For now tho, it’s lenses.

I am going to ask the Dr. about the plunger idea. Honestly, I’ve always had NO problem sticking my finger in my eye. I get lashes in there all the time and just dig them out. I have come to find there’s a HUGE difference between the whites and the iris. Whites have no feeling. The rest - owie!

Honeslty I can see fine. Every time I wear them I can see better. They told me it’d be a bitch to pull off, and it is. Guess it’s just one day at a time…

18

I developed astigmatism as an adult. My eye doctor gave me some options: hard lenses, special soft contacts for astigmatism or regular soft contacts. Hard contacts were cheaper than the special soft contacts, but I can’t tolerate them. The astigmatism soft contacts are neat - they aren’t round. Part of the lenses is trimmed away so the lens shouldn’t rotate once it’s in, keeping it in the proper area for best vision. Nice, but expensive (especially since I didn’t wear my contacts much anymore). I chose the third option. Yes, my vision is not quite as good with regular contacts than with glasses, but in my case it’s not important to me. It’s still good enough.

LASIK is definitely not for everyone. There are unscrupulous businesses out there that don’t give proper weight to the fact that many individuals don’t have sufficient corneal thickness or their pupils are too large for a standard machine. If they decide to go ahead, there is a very real possibility of worsened vision, halos, starbursting and loose of night vision. Go to a least two well known laser centres to be assessed and definitely never go with the cheapest practitioner. Do some research on the net about the possible consequences. This is hardly a risk-free procedure and should not be taken lightly.

19

I’d also like to recommend soft lenses. I get a pair every month. They cost £18 and I can’t feel them when they’re in properly. I was putting them in and taking them out like a pro within a week.

20

I’ll join the chorus saying that soft lenses are great. I’ve worn them for about 28 years now. They were relatively new on the market when I first got them.

Your doctor may be willing to cut you a deal if you decide to switch to soft lenses right now, if you tell him that you just can’t hack the hard lenses, or that they’re too uncomfortable. It can’t hurt to ask. (That is, he may be willing to throw away the profit margin he took on selling you the gas permeable lenses because he will make it up on selling you a new pair of soft lenses.)

I have the daily wear type (where you purchase one pair, clean and disinfect them every night, and soak them in enzymatic solution for an couple of hours once a week.)

I’ve always found it easier to get my contacts out if I put a few drops of saline solution in my eyes before I take them out. This makes them easier to slide out in case your eyes have gotten a bit dry and the lens has started to adhere a little bit. It also makes you less likely to scratch your eye tugging at a stuck lens.