The kids deserve to end up in temporary foster care. And I don’t mean that in the sense that it would be a punishment for them.
The fuck? Vacation?!?! Even when I was quite flush with cash, I was still able to realize that a vacation (given my financial situation) was still an extravagance. That money had debts to pay, places to be. I could probably use a good slap in the face for the way I’ve managed to avoid handling my finances, but even I know that paying for housing is job one. The money is in their bank account?! It boggles the mind. It truly does.
Unfortunately, they don’t automatically take kids away from their parents for being homeless. The children will be right along with them, suffering through no fault of their own.
I have a friend like this. I think her power was cut off today for nonpayment of a $1000 bill, but I can’t call her to see because her phone’s been cut off, and she didn’t go to work today. :rolleyes: I have so much empathy that it’s very difficult for me to see her and her children struggling so much. It’s a good thing I don’t have much money of my own, because I’d be wanting to give it to her if I did.
ETA: Well, okay, I guess my friend’s not like your friend, as apparently your friend actually has the money? Anyway.
[QUOTE=Unauthorized Cinnamon]
You know, you have a good point. Luckily, I have not said this to her (though she may think it anyway). My guess is that she assumes a.) somehow the deus ex machina will descend, and it will all get taken care of so they can stay* and b.) even if they get kicked out, they will stay with her mom for a while, then get an apartment (ignoring the fact that they have four animals they refuse to get rid of). I hope I’ve not enabled too much, and I agree, it is time to let them fall on their faces, and also not my problem if they do.
If you know what “deus ex machina” means, well enough to use it in a sentence (I don’t) what in the hell are you doing being friends with these nut cases? I am something of a hermit myself and it is people like your friends who make me believe that is the proper path. Why ever do you associate with them?
Sigline!
I had a friend like that. After three years of helping her with financial matters (up to and including explaining bank statements to her in words of one syllable) it got to the point where I had to send her a caps locked email which read in part “DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING YOUR EX-PARTNER GIVES YOU WITHOUT YOUR LAWYER LOOKING AT IT FIRST, DO NOT!!!”. Following which she signed over a house but not it’s mortgage to her ex-partner.
The End.
My ex husband was like this. Phone bill for $100 in hand, disconnect notice. Bank account with $60. Make payment arrangement with phone company? No, order pizza and go to a movie because it is going to get cut off anyway and we might as well enjoy the last $60. Make yourself feel good and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes because you are always “getting by” and you don’t think it will ever catch up to you.
It stressed me to the point of breaking and by the time we divorced and I told my parents what was going on they were absolutely flabbergasted (I had hidden our financial difficulties for so long). Of course I wasn’t going to make waves because “hey baby, I’m your husband, I’ve got a plan, don’t worry so much. I’ll always take care of you.”
Yeah, except we went from a 3 bedroom/2.5 house, 22 years old with a household income of over $75K/year, with a big back yard and pets and owning our cars to divorced and me living in a shitty apartment and he’s in jail and our son thinks daddy got a job out of town so he won’t see him for a while.
It’ll catch up to her. You want to be her friend? Hold her when she cries when it all comes crashing down and at the end of the night send her home to take care of what is left of her family herself, because she’s about to hit sink or swim time and the life-jackets are what’s killing her.
Well, I’m told it’s “all straightened out,” and that there will be no sale on Wednesday. Some mysterious personage known as “The Investor” apparently failed to fill out *his *paperwork promptly, and that was the problem. Don’t ask me - I purposely forestalled any details. We talked about the merits of various breast pumps, and how her daughter wants to dress like a princess today, etc. And I’m going to do my best to keep it at that level from now on. Sadly, if she insists on talking to me about financial stuff, or bitch about her husband, I may indeed have to stop talking to her.
Does she know that some mortgage companies will let you set up auto-pay? If they don’t, her bank probably offers online banking that allows auto-payment of bills. Then they deal with writing the check and mailing it, so you don’t have to. If you have a fixed monthly payment, or your mortgage broker is set up for e-bills with your bank, you don’t even have to deal with finding the monthly bill among all the junk mail.
Take it from someone who hates dealing with bills- online banking is one of the best things the banks have come up with since the ATM.
Sounds like she’s on a big *la-la-la-la I can’t hear you this isn’t happening * kick.
Everyone gets into some money trouble. Almost all of us get behind on some bills, especially early in life, or run up some stupid (esp. credit card) debt and have to learn the hard way why you can’t do this sort of thing.
But when someone with a job isn’t paying their mortgage, they’re a retard beyond any hope of advice or help, and anyone who loves them is well advised to let them crash and burn and see if they’ll learn, because the crashin’ and burnin’ gonna come sooner or later, and it may as well be now.
What has her husband got on her? I’d be so angry with Mr. Neville if he pulled shit like this and was about to get us thrown out of our house. I think people in Australia would be complaining about the noise from the argument that would follow. Her husband screwed up big time, why isn’t she madder at him?
Okay, I no longer feel half so bad about my own financial issues.
Thanks.
I think she’s been so mad at him for so long, it all just blends into a background anger now. Sincerely, I think she can no longer see the difference in importance between him letting the cat boxes get nasty and him not paying the mortgage. And I don’t think there’s any arguing that he’s a tool. Last year when she was pregnant (yes, another brilliant decision on their part), she had to have an emergency appendectomy. When she came home, dirty dishes were piled in the sink, etc.
During our “you have to take care of this” conversation, she kept coming back to his failings, and I told her she had to decide if she could choose to live with a spouse who will bring home the bacon, but contribute pretty much nothing else, knowing that he won’t change, or that she can’t live with it, and wants to leave. This is why in addition to not listening to their money issues, I’m putting a moratorium on her venting about his behavior.
Well, let’s see if the investor exists, today.
bump
Any news?
Well, they still live in the house. Allegedly there is an arrangement, and the bank is sending them documents to sign, and attach their certified check to, though that hasn’t all been completed yet. Again, I’m trying not to get involved, so I don’t have lots of details, but the upshot is everything seems to be OK, for the moment.
Well, naturally. But considering VCO3’s posting history, one never knows.