I had been seizure free for almost two and a half years. Until Monday. You see, I decided I wanted to switch from one oral contraceptive to a stronger one since I was experiencing bleeding. Unfortunately, said oral contraceptive interacted with my seizure medication, causing it to metabolize too fast in my blood.
Stupid fucking brain. Did you really have to go on the fritz in the middle of the fucking night, freaking my husband the hell out? Twice? Was it absolutely necessary to incapacitate me so I couldn’t interact with my son? And, thanks to you, I’m left an emotionless blob for the next few days until my temporal lobes recover from the electric storm. I can’t feel a fucking thing, everything smells weird and the light is different. I feel like a sociopath - I could commit murder right now and not care. And I can’t go anywhere because it would be irresponsible for me to drive until I know my medication is working appropriately.
Plus, I bit my lip so hard in the throes of my seizures that my lower lip is now swollen and numb as if someone had given me a shot of novicaine. I have to put a hand under my chin when I drink in case something falls out. Plus, my language hasn’t totally caught up with my mind and I don’t feel anything at all when I laugh - it’s just social lubrication that means absolutely nothing to me right now except that I don’t have to explain myself if I act like I usually do.
Stupid brain. I don’t know why I haven’t replaced you by now. I hate you.