I think I have been this way for all of my life. I’m on top of the world one week, and I’m worthless the next. The timing of the cycle changes, and I’ve become better able to deal with the down times, but damn, I’m in my 30’s and I’m tired of it.
Stability now please.
My late wife was manic. There was medication she could take to even out the highs and lows, but her brain was wired such that she’d rather suffer the lows to get to the highs. Regardless of how it affected those around her. 
In her low periods she’d cry out that she wished she could just turn her brain off… just for a little while. I feel for you, and the internal torment that I’ve witnessed myself thousands of times.
I feel your pain. I’m not manic, just depressive, but it’s annoying being fine one minute and a crying wreck the next–I wish I was joking, but it really does happen that fast sometimes. The worst part being that I tend to dwell on things, so it’s really hard for me to stop thinking about whatever’s making me upset.
I’m BP2. However, I can soooo relate as I tend toward more lows than highs. Two days ago I was in a store and they had some obnoxious country song playing in which somebody was dying. I was trying not to cry as I paid the cashier.:dubious:
New Beginning, have you talked to a doctor about this? It can get better.
Are a manic-depressive/schizophrenic person’s “high” moments actually pleasant? Or just… “whoooaawww, go go go!”
Mine are pleasant even bordering on surreal at times. However my ideas tend to be grandiose during a high and I have to be careful what plans I put into action. At other times, though, when I seem to be happy I’ll have to wonder if I’m just happy or heading over the edge. It’s frustrating to have to question your emotions like that instead of just being content with the way things are.
Hope that makes sense.
Believe me - if I didn’t have kids, I’d go back off my meds in a heartbeat.
Boy, I envy you bipolars with “euphoric” mania!
I didn’t know I was bipolar for the longest time (thought it was just “atypical” depression) because I never had those “top of the world” highs. I still don’t. I have “dysphoric” mania, which means that manic phases involve lots of energy, but channelled into irrational rages, inability to tolerate the slightest irritation, and an attention-span of about 30 seconds. Imagine being my poor husband - I’m amazed I’m still married! The man’s a saint!
With a good psychiatrist, I got a combination of meds that keep me stable, and what passes for “normal,” without any side-effects worth mentioning.
What everybody else said - sounds like bipolar to me, and my recommentation is to go to your regular doctor to get a referral to a good psychologist/psychiatrist/psychotherapist.
Good luck!!
Don’t know if I’m BP, manic, or what, but I definately have crazy mood swings it seems. I deal with it better then before (no suicidal thoughts anymore thank god)
The down times suck, but hey at least the thrill of life is with you in the good times. I swear some people I know might as well be robots…not the life for me.
Someone mentioned being schizophrenic. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that is a mood disorder.
I have a low grade but chronic depression. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have some really happy times. I so. I just don’t seem to be able to count on how I’m going to feel. But medication seems to keep me from going into a really dark depression unless something big sets it off.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was bipolar, but yeah. My emotional “highs” are pretty great. I can always tell whats happening because suddenly every song is my favorite song. I sit there wondering how I never noticed insert song here was such a good song. Then the next one comes, and I fall in love with that.
The world kind of glistens. It looks like the set of a movie. The light is always just right. Even a simple leaf can leave me nearly breathless with it’s beauty. I feel like I’m walking around in a beautiful, romantic fantasy world. It’s like love and springtime and a pleasant wine buzz all at once. And everything just seems bursting with possibility. I’ve never done much while on a “high”, except walk around in awe at the wonder off things.
I feel for you. I got better, partially by deciding it wasn’t okay to feel crazy anymore. These days I’ve been lonely and feeling the tug of the crazy. Like an alcoholic with drink, melancholy is a path that I can’t allow myself to indulge in even a little bit, because once I start I don’t know how to stop. But man, it’s a tough thing to deal with, isn’t it?
I related to a lot of the comments posted so far, and especially this one. Like you, I don’t think I’m manic (or if I am, it’s very weak compared to some of the other bipolar people I’ve known).
This too. (And off topic, it also perfectly describes my experience on mushrooms.)
Thanks to everyone for the comments. Made me feel much less alone in the world. I know that we’ve all got our own personal battles, be they set in the real world, or just in our minds. Fight on.