So no one ever told you that life would be this way?
Your life’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA?
Well in that case, take that underwear off your head, eh? Enough is enough.
Try alternating every other day. That’ll keep’ em guessing.
You have an attitude about people who have an attitude about your attitude (and people here are giving you attitude about it). I don’t see this ending well. I’m not sure I see it ending at all.
Well, it started in the crapper so there’s no way to go but up!
If it shows any signs of ending, he will start a new thread. He does about one per week.
I think maybe some people here are trying to gently suggest that the problem is “you”, not “them”…
Do you pick up that vibe, too, or is it just me?
You are one of the Nattering Nabobs of Negativism that Agnew warned us about.
You’re absolutely right OP. Life is the worst thing in…um…life.
Okay, now that that’s established, what good does it do you to behave that way? Based on your posts, it’s a vicious cycle for you. Life sucks, you lash out and act nasty, people react badly, and it sounds as if it gets worse with each spiral. Most people are not going to come around to your way of thinking. So you can either behave in a way that IS going to improve life (and possibly get you laid) or continue to be miserable. But acting this way is never never never going to be effective, no matter how much you want to justify it as “reality”.
Of course, none of that is anything people on the Dope haven’t told you a ton of times.
it’s not an accusation - its an observation - one that you continue to provide evidence for with every post you make.
Unless I missed it - you have yet to bring one positive thing to this board, and I, for one, wish you would find another bridge to crawl under.
Czarcasm, thanks so much for sending me down a Hee-Haw memory lane. Sure does trounce the hell out of all those xmas carols playing everywhere. Pbbbbt they are gone.
Sadly, no. Forgot to use sarcastica font.
I had my chasing bad boys days, now I’m far too old and jaded to find them charming. Alas. ** Jesse** just seems tedious and whiny to me. Fortunately, I am no longer his chosen demographic, so he need pay me no mind.
… not to mention, more likely to get laid.
Never heard that one, but I like it! 
Crap. That’s gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the whole damn day. I think I might have to wish you ill.
That too.
I think I’ve somehow been lucky enough not to see this poster before, but maybe I’ve just forgotten.
I’ve, literally, honestly and truly with no hyperbole or artistic license, got a patient with brain cancer who is less negative then you, Jesse my dear. Last week they found 14 lesions in her brain, thanks to the cancer that was in and around her lungs that’s decided to take a little trip. She has no butthole, because the cancer ate her ass and it had to be surgically removed, so now she poops into a bag on her belly. The cancer’s pressing on some nerve somewhere, or something, so that she has excruciating pain every day, even on maxed out doses of morphine and fentanyl. She’s down to 90 pounds and losing about 2 more every week. There’s not a fucking thing I or any of her doctors can do about it, except let her talk to me about it for a couple of hours a week.
Tomorrow’s her birthday. I’m going to bring her the last birthday cake she’ll ever have, because she doesn’t have any family in town to bring her one, and I can’t stand the fucking thought of her not having cake on her last birthday.
And you know what? We’re going to laugh our asses off (well, I’ll laugh mine off, hers is already gone. She’ll laugh something else off) for almost the whole time I’m there. Because that’s what we do. We laugh. She laughs. She cracks jokes until we cry tears of laughter. Dirty jokes, blasphemous jokes, pissed-off-at-the-universe jokes…
Life ain’t peaches and cream, but sometimes it’s laughing your ass off when you have no ass.
Don’t bug me, I’m busy embroidering this onto a pillow.
If you think you’re a realist and everyone insists you’re negative, what you have is a communication problem.
Work on it. And quit your bitchin’!
And, don’t come back until you’re farting rainbows, we ain’t got time for this.
Or as Dr. Phil says, “How’s that working for you?”
I feel your pain, Jesse. I, too, have been told I’m negative; most recently it was when a bartender friend told me that on Thanksgiving morning they would be opening at eight, even though the night before is their busiest night of the year. I mentioned that AA was having a Thanksgiving dinner that afternoon and that anybody who realized that he was drinking at 8AM on Thanksgiving was welcome. He told me I was the most negative person he knew. I was shocked, as I was just trying to be helpful, but then I thought about which of us was drinking himself to death and took pity on him. I’m magnanimous like that.