I pit people that treat Crossfit like it's a cult

The BBQ Pit
1

I know I haven’t been here long, and perhaps a pitting for such a newbie is a faux paus around here, but I feel the need to rant.

I don’t have a problem with CrossFit itself. While it’s not perfect, it’s still a damn good workout and if you stick with it, you’ll get in shape.

That being said, the running joke about Crossfit is “Rule 1 of Crossfit: tell everyone you fucking know that you do Crossfit.” Some people just never shut the fuck up about that shit. Worse yet, they’ll adopt the mentality that CF is the be all end all of workouts, and that anyone else who has a different workout plan is wasting their time.

Here’s the truth behind all workouts: in the end, it matters far less which workout you do. The far more important factor is how committed you are to your workout plan and how hard you work to see it through. It could be the crappiest program in the world, but it will not matter because if you hit it hard, you’ll see results in some form.

The average cult Crossfitter refuses to see that way, and you always hear the same shit from these idiots:

“OMG don’t train with low reps and high weights you’ll get bulky and won’t improve your cardio! Don’t run for distance, you want gain any muscle! The best way to get in shape for anything is to go to a dingy CF box where they’ll charge you 4x the amount of an average gym to use equipment that clearly doesn’t require that level of upkeep and do shit-form pull-ups with kettlebells shoved up your ass!”

They completely ignore the fact that someone training heavy may not have improved cardio as one of their goals and is trying to get stronger, or that someone running for distance might be training for a marathon and may not have extra muscle as a goal.

Worse yet, these people actually believe they’re well versed in fitness after doing it for a certain amount of time, when they’re still receiving all their workouts from someone else (in the form of a WOD).

Again, CF itself is not the problem, I know it’s possible to do that workout without wanting to sniff Jason Khalipa’s jockstrap. But damn, some of those people need to be bitch-slapped by Ronnie Coleman.

2

And people wonder why I won’t go to the gym.

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Such methods aren’t used at every gym, nor are they necessary for results. Don’t tell that to a Crossfitter, though.

4

What, no newsletter?

5

Meh, I do CrossFit. It’s been great for me, but it’s certainly not for everyone.

6

I exercised once but turns out I’m allergic, so I have to avoid it.

7

I agree. I do CrossFit, I also run for distance, do hot yoga, pole fitness and come Jan, will start Tri-training. CrossFit is great, but it’s not for everyone, and if your form isn’t right, you can REALLY hurt yourself.

But I don’t want to hear about your sweat-angel n

People ask me all the time,“How did you lose weight, what is the best workout?”

My response is always , “I stuck with it, and the best workout is the one you will enjoy/stick with.” So if CrossFit is your thing, awesome, if Zumba does it for you, also excellent.

But CrossFit is no different than anything else. I have running friends that can’t talk about anything else than their PB or negative splits, triathlon friends that LOVE to talk IM and wetsuits and yoga friends that will go on and on about three part breathing and the best way to improve down-dog.

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The CrossFit brethern shall hear of your heretical blasphemy against the One True Workout, doctor krieger, and many, many burpees shall be your penance! Your punishing WOD shall make a Memorial Day Murph seem but a rest day! All Hail CrossFit!!

9

I have a similar problem, Thou shalt not exercise is the only commandment in my personal religion.

10

Same here. I broke out in this weird watery ooze from all over my body, began breathing heavily, had an increased heart rate, and was sore for days. Never again.

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No pain, no [del]gain[/del] pain.

12

I was going to ask if I would also be the human sacrifice, but then I realized human meat probably isn’t Paleo.

13

It’s definitely paleo, but by the time you finish all the burpees you’ll be too tough to enjoy.

14

Truth = Truth
And as far as I know, Burpee = Seed Company

15

I dated a guy that was into crossfit and I’m with the op.

Yah, he was in shape, but also annoying as fuck.

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I’d post a response here but I gotta be at the gym in 26 minutes.

17

I personally love hearing all about who does Crossfit and how much and how into it they are. I dig when they wear the t-shirt of their training facility as well.
It’s a handy way of knowing whose puke and tears I will need to avoid at about mile 4 of Tough Mudder.

18

I’m a gym rat myself, and I stick to a fairly traditional weight training and cardio routine. I often get asked by people about for work out advice, and the first question I always ask them is what their goals are. I’ve never done crossfit myself, but it is clearly a good workout, but there is no one-size-fits-all for workouts. My particular goals wouldn’t be met by doing crossfit, so I don’t, but I also don’t disparage anyone who wants to do it.

I actually think it’s kind of neat that people who would otherwise not be into exercise can get psyched about it, but there are definitely some people that take it too far, and its more noticeable with crossfit than with other trendy workouts that I’ve seen. And I do think it’s bad when people who have been doing it for, say, six months feel like they’re in a position to give health and fitness advice that’s often bad, and occasionally dangerous.

So, I wish everyone could just, you know, work out, get in shape, and just more or less shut up about it unless they’re around people who have the specific knowledge and interest to discuss certain aspects of it. For me, I realize it’s bothersome, so I only bring up my workout if I’m specifically asked or it’s directly relevant. It’d be nice if more people did that, and about other things than just that.

19

I endorse this pitting, and it’s not just crossfit. One of my best friends suddenly became a fitness maniac a couple of years ago. He did Insanity and then P90X, runs and bike-rides.

Good for him for getting in shape; I respect and appreciate that aspect of it. But Jesus Fuck, his facebook feed is now nothing but “Just finished my workout!!!” and “Got plans later so I did my workout early today!” and “Yeah! Feels great to sweat!!!” He posts his GPS logs for every run and ride, as if anybody else cares, and an endless stream of copied-and-pasted motivational crap. We get it, dude, you work out. Stop cluttering my news feed with it.

(I don’t want to block him because we are real-life friends and there are occasionally things of interest on his page. I’m just tired of wading through all the workout garbage to find it. He’s not nearly as one-note in person.)

20

It’s just like any other fitness fad. Spinners can be elitist douchebags as well. The problem with Crossfit is that it’s a business more than anything. The “trainers” all buy their degrees online and are frequently pushed to upsell to packages which are disproportionate to what you get in regular gyms. The fact they discourage other activity (why I never joined, after one consult) as well as encourage a diet otherwise known as Fatkins, is really concerning (no carbs for athletes? Really?) – and actually is quite consistent with cult behavior.