You misread my entire arguement if you think I would never refer to adopters as parents. Some adopters have unconditional love for the children they are raising. It’s one of the many unhealthy mental conditions some people who can’t accept infertility develop.
Maybe this book will help some people:
Edit - I don’t agree with everything the author has to say, especially about spanking in private. A child who misbehaves in public should be spanked in public to increase the shame.
Come on, that can’t possibly have been satisfactory, even to you. When did I say you would never refer to adopters as parents?
And you have continually said that adopters make their love conditional upon the kids calling the adopters mom and dad. I think that’s a stupid definition of conditional love, but it’s yours, so I would have thought you could make sense of it. Apparently not.
The author of the suggests not using the hand. I think the is good, but if you want follow his advice, these might help:
If you do use a device, be careful. You don’t want to cross into abuse. The hairbrush seems extreme, but it is a top spanking paddle choice on Amazon. Again, I say just use your hand. You probably want to talk to the local DA before using any device.
Cat-o-nine-tails? Careful, you’re overplaying your hand.
Adopters make caring for the child and providing what it needs to stay alive at young age conditional upon the kids calling the adopters mom and dad, so I would say the actions of adopters resemble something far more evil than love. My definition of conditional love is simply this: it’s an emotional relationship with some limits that can be nullifed by the actions of the loved individual. The problem with you kiddie worshippers is that you want to use whatever it is you feel for kidlets as an excuse to trample adult lives and adult rights in favor of the completely undeserving.
Those are just the things that came upmwheni searched for spanking devices on Amazon. again, I recommend the hand, not any of those devices. And I left the more extreme things like these:
http://www.amazon.com/PaddleDaddy-Slapper-Leather-Spanking-Paddle/dp/B0066TI452/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1349819697&sr=8-4&keywords=spanking+paddle
http://www.amazon.com/PaddleDaddy-Unbreakable-Spanking-Paddle-Holes/dp/B005TOUUPC/ref=pd_sim_sbs_misc_4
Amazon’s spanking devices seem pretty extreme. I don’t know what they think kids are getting up to, but that strap is just crazy. It tear a kid apart.
Thus far it’s been you, who is a well known child hater, and Naive Evian who clearly has a weird fetish for spanking, and suckling pregnant women’s tits.
I don’t know how I will get by knowing you two think I’m a bad parent.
I’m not a parent, but this seems like a quite reasonable attitude. The child can be secure in being valued and cared about, but can’t count on approval or happy-cheerful-friendly unless they conform to the parent’s rules.
Sorry, missed this earlier. I don’t know names since I don’t have any kids to raise these days, but they are (or were) out there. Google “your child as your friend” and see all the reactions to the idea. Granted it was popular several years ago, but the results are still haunting us and there are still plenty of people who think it’s a great way to interact with their kids. There is also this. Try Googling “alternative child rearing” or something like that.
Apparently you didn’t read many of the responses to your first couple of posts, particularly the one from WhyNot. Or maybe she was just too polite for you to realize that she doesn’t approve of you allowing your kid to run unfettered in stores.
That cite doesn’t say anything about your child being your friend, or about unconditional love, or about the proper way to deal with a child misbehaving in a store.
Is it trolling if they really believe it?
It would be better if the SDMB didn’t treat her posts seriously. Really, after all this time, the only way to treat her, especially on posts about child rearing, is silence. If one can’t handle that, pointing and laughing are a close second. Engagement is useless, pointless, and the worst possible reaction.
It was about “Hands Off” child rearing with an example of allowing a toddler to make their own choices about whether or not he felt like staying at the table and eating a meal - it certainly isn’t much of a stretch to believe that anyone using that “method” would also allow the child to make their own choices as to how shopping is done. I personally feel that letting your kids make their own choices most/all of the time is the same thing as being their friend rather than their parent.
(I wasn’t looking for cites regarding unconditional love or the proper way to deal with a kid; don’t know why you stuck those in there.)
Woah, woah, woah. Hang on there, that’s a complete misrepresentation of my position/opinion on Cheesesteak’s parenting. He does NOT “fail as a parent” in my eyes, not even close. Could he maybe learn a few things from someone who’s already walked this path? Absolutely. So could I. Sometimes I learn a few things from someone who’s *not *walked this path, 'cause they come at it with fresh eyes. We’re all learning, as parents and people, all the time. Having room to try to improve, or to try a new technique, is not a sign of a “failure” as a parent.
No, I don’t approve of letting kids run unfettered in stores - but that’s a long way from “fail as a parent”. That’s simply a parent who is underestimating what both he and his child are capable of.
The very fact that he’s thanked me for my suggestions and indicated a willingness to at least ponder trying some of those techniques tell me that he’s the exact *opposite *of a failure as a parent. He’s got an open mind and his kid’s best interest at heart and isn’t running around pretending he knows everything and nothing else could possibly work.
So please, feel free to carry on with *your *namecalling. This is the Pit, and that’s why we’re here (I guess), but don’t try to portray me as on “your side” of this particular opinion about Cheesesteak. I’m not, not by a long shot.
You could do what my parents did – threaten to sell your kids to the gypsies. 
The bulk bins where I shop do have chutes. (not coin op ones though :D). So at least people can’t put their hands all over the stuff before they dispense it into a bag.
I can’t believe the dad in the OP. That’s a special kinda stupid, I mean what? Did he think candy was a penny a pound or something? Surely he’d bought candy bars before and must know they’re roughly a buck a piece? So any reasonable person should be able to look at a mass of candy and halfway figure out a ball park cost.
Sheesh.
Ridiculous. It’s equally not much of a stretch to presume most parents, like most people, have different rules for behavior in the home as opposed to outside it.
How, pray tell, is a child to learn they can make decisions with good outcomes without practicing? It’s obvious that you’ve never raised a child, and have no interest in actually understanding what that might entail, so how about you shut your trap about shit you know nothing about?
Uh, OK, not that I remember any namecalling, but whatever. I did say that you disapproved of him allowing his child to run free in stores - not true? The “fail as a parent” part is because Cheesesteak seems to think it’s normal or OK to allow his kid to run the visit to the store, instead of him doing so.
Did you read the article? I was referring to that. Parents who are into “Hands Off” parenting don’t tend to have different rules, since the whole point is to let the kids explore the world (at home and not) on their own, make their own mistakes and choices, etc.
Raised two kids from almost birth to 10 years of age, so what is “obvious” is that you don’t agree with me on parenting. Tho assuming that someone you don’t agree with must be completely inexperienced and clueless is a common way to attempt to force an opinion here, so bravo to you.
As for making decisions without practicing, I would certainly hope that if you have kids yourself, you are not letting them make all the decisions on how they are raised, such as whether or not they eat what is put in front of them, or whether or not they stay with you while you shop, or any of the other things that young children are not equipped to make good decisions on.
You are completely ignorant as to the scientific consensus on effective parenting techniques. Steinberg is a good place to start if you wish to atone for your abysmal ignorance.
You’ve abnegated your responsibilities as a human being.
The moment someone abdicates their critical thinking faculties and contravenes the weight of scientific evidence in order to pursue a fantastic myth, they’ve relegated any claim to humanity. Please peruse scientific journals relating to child rearing and come back with cites.
If nothing else, ZPGZ has revealed that the secondhand-child gypsy market may not be quite as liquid as our parents assumed.