Gosh, I am getting slow. I just caught the SWAK 
Is that like the clap?
It’s ingenous wordsmithing compared to most metal lyrics. Seriously, look at the OP!
Not nearly as much fun catching. Just ask the Wolfman.
Metal makes my ears hurt.
The other thing that concerns me about metal, in all seriousness, is that it seems to have been taken just about as far as it can be taken. Heck, that happened 20 years ago. It’s almost like this musical dead end now, that just kind of wallows in silly lyrics and formulaic music. Metal used to be dangerous. I remember listening to Slayer’s South of Heaven when I was a kid at Boy Scout camp. It was almost frightening. Extremely attractive, but dangerous. And boy, how the parents hated it. I know the metalheads and the punks hated each other back then, and I was a punk, but there was something about the raw aggression of metal that even I found very attractive.
But as time went on, it just never went anywhere. Galloping rhythm guitar? Check. Aggressive vocals? De rigueur. Blast drumming? Of course. Cheesy lyrics? Yup. I mean, sure, you had the explosion of metal subgenres. There was death metal. Black metal. Industrial metal. Hair metal (not metal at all, but whatever). Doom. Gothic. Power. Speed. Thrash. Yadda yadda yadda. All those just always seemed like everyone was waiting around, seeing if SOMEONE could do something different with it, and make it transcend.
And really, nobody ever did. It seemed like everybody took some aspect of a Black Sabbath song they liked (“Ooooh, I dig the gallop!”, “The doomy sludge feel of this is great!”) and explored it to the absolute nth degree, but ultimately, there wasn’t any place else to go.
It’ll always have its place as an outlet for those adolescent rage and rebel feelings, but it just feels like a musical backwater now. Sort of like jazz, actually.
And now it’s not even remotely dangerous. The parents are punks and metalheads now, and it’s all thoroughly mainstream.
Has there ever been such a rash of parody threads as this one generated?
I think the mods should have at least left the one open about people who hate fiberglass. I’m still laughing at that one, and I didn’t even open it.
Metal is great music in the same way that The Onion is a great newspaper. But unlike The Onion they are not doing it ironically.
Iron is a metal. 
I completely agree. I was just making a joke. I love me some Black Sabbath (but only when Ozzy was singing…Dio was crap IMHO).
I’m with you (about Ozzy too). I should have included a smiley.
I pit people that lock threads about pitting people regarding metal.
Now should I start a thread about that?
This is what happens when Miller decides to sleep in. Probably after a night of listen to Mantovani.
Da-da dun dun dun, another one bites the dust!
Dio perforated my left eardrum when I was 17, the asshole.
What about a craving for cookies!?!
Seriously, what are they trying to accomplish with that. I can’t take anything with that singing style seriously.
The lyrics you posted are so laughably stupid they’re having the opposite effect of what you intended. My problem with most metal is exemplified by those kind of lyrics: childish sword & sorcery/occult crap or alternatively, apocalyptic themes you know the singer chose to express his feelings on being rejected by so many girls in high school. Also, the macho posturing, the elevation of technique over expression, the bombastic pomposity that has more to do with opera than rock & roll, etc. Nothing about it has anything to do with my life as an intelligent adult. Having said that, I do enjoy early Iron Maiden, Slayer and Motorhead.
I’m curious as to what people would consider to be a “mature” lyrical theme for a metal song, or what subjects are appropriate for music in general.
It occurs to me that if you can’t find something in the world to write aggressive, rage-filled lyrics about, and thus have to resort to tired old metal tropes about orcs and shit, you aren’t looking very hard.