I pit people who talk to themselves in front of others

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Joey_P

I have a girl at work that does this ALL FUCKING DAY. In fact, most everything she does is, IMO, is for attention. As I started typing this, she walked into my office because she needed to print something. It’s very small office, it’s just me and her in here, she was sitting literally 5 feet from me, this is what she said…at a normal speaking volume

I do not like this chair in here [someone had swapped one of the chairs for some reason]
Sysco…got to print out the Sysco list
Why are these [the icons on the computer] in alphabetical order?
meeeeerrrrrr [imitating the sound of the printer]<snip>
*One day we had a very important customer call us and after a meeting with the owner (him and the owner are friends and the customer is a business owner as well so he was doing this as a courtesy) to let him know that this girl (who he had never had any interaction with) was an absolute embarrassment. Every few minutes she was getting text messages and she would look at it, mumble something at it, loudly and in frustration “GEEZ, I ALREADY TOLD HER” or “WHY DOES SHE KEEP TEXTING ME” or “I ALREADY ANSWERED THIS QUESTION”. The owner pulled her off to the side after that and told her how embarrassed he was that his friend said that and told her that from now on she either has to keep her phone off at work or she can’t yell at it anymore.

This would drive me right out of my freaking tree.

@Anaamika

So, I was thinking about this yesterday again. There are four people in my office, other than me. All four of them talk to themselves, but only two of them do so audibly - and those are the two that are annoying. So yes, there is a difference.

One of them is my boss, however, so there is a limit to what I can say. My RL name rhymes with Mika so if my boss has NOTHING else to say she’ll say

Mika mika bobika

That stupid poem. And she’ll sing it. And then she’ll laugh and look at me expectantly, thinking I think it funny, too.

I don’t laugh. Then she says “SMILE, IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.”

I swear, one of these days, POW! Right in the kisser.

This too. I think quiet people make the babblers feel insecure, so they have to bother us.

[kayaker]

@AnaMen

I have one of those names that is, quite simply, unpleasant-sounding.

OK, it’s either Dickhead or Smegmabreath. Which is it?

[RedFury]

@AnaMen

This is a forum thread. I did not enter an area you occupy and make noises; you entered it, did not read it, do not understand the term “stream of consciousness,” and have now lost control of your bowels. Bravo!

I wasn’t speaking to you, dipshit!

[Drunky_Smurf]

@kayaker

OK, it’s either Dickhead or Smegmabreath. Which is it?

I was gonna guess Shitballs McShittier hailing from Shitterton, England.

Shitterton

[AnaMen]

Yes, it’s all of those, so I’m sure you can see why it isn’t used often and why I’m not looking to change that.

[Nzinga_Seated]

I only read the OP and the first few posts and I am DYING LAUGHING. I know EXACTLY what the OP is talking about and he expressed it PERFECTLY. Hilarious, man, because I know precisely the thing he means, yet it is such an original rant. I have never heard anyone mention how annoying it is before. Ever. I’m cracking up. Gonnna read the rest of the thread now.

[digs]

I talk to myself. Sometimes even sing. Got in the habit from spending a summer home alone with dogs. They appreciated a running commentary on every trivial action (sometimes “sung through” like light opera). I think my motive is just to organize or entertain myself…

But after this thread? Whoa… I’m seeing how much it annoys others, or even keeps them from functioning.

So I’m stopping. Right. Now.

(well, ok, pups, after one last rendition of “Here I boast/of making toaaaast… Step one you’ll spy/involves a twisty-tiiiiie…”)

[Lynn_Bodoni]

@Anaamika

So, I was thinking about this yesterday again. There are four people in my office, other than me. All four of them talk to themselves, but only two of them do so audibly - and those are the two that are annoying. So yes, there is a difference.

One of them is my boss, however, so there is a limit to what I can say. My RL name rhymes with Mika so if my boss has NOTHING else to say she’ll say

Mika mika bobika

That stupid poem. And she’ll sing it. And then she’ll laugh and look at me expectantly, thinking I think it funny, too.

I don’t laugh. Then she says “SMILE, IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.”

I swear, one of these days, POW! Right in the kisser.

I talk to myself, whether I’m alone or with other people. I talk to the cats. I even sing to the cats. They seem to enjoy it.

However, if you ever DO pop your boss in the kisser, you need to get me on your jury, because I will vote to acquit. There’s talking to oneself without intending to aggravate others, and then there’s “SMILE, IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY” shit.

[BrainGlutton]

I recall a Gahan Wilson cartoon from the '80s: A guy is walking down the sidewalk talking into one of those early brick-sized cell phones. Caption: “I love these new portable phones! I can walk around all day talking to myself and nobody looks at me like I’m crazy!”

[AnaMen]

@digs

I talk to myself. Sometimes even sing. Got in the habit from spending a summer home alone with dogs. They appreciated a running commentary on every trivial action (sometimes “sung through” like light opera). I think my motive is just to organize or entertain myself…

But after this thread? Whoa… I’m seeing how much it annoys others, or even keeps them from functioning.

So I’m stopping. Right. Now.

(well, ok, pups, after one last rendition of “Here I boast/of making toaaaast… Step one you’ll spy/involves a twisty-tiiiiie…”)

Don’t stop singing to your dogs! That’s not talking to yourself.

[digs]

@AnaMen

Don’t stop singing to your dogs! That’s not talking to yourself.

But I may have to go cold turkey for a bit, if I’m going to stop myself from acting that way at work.

And on the street. I caught the attention of some friends (and a couple dozen strangers) at a busy bus stop downtown by belting out “What’s So Funny 'Bout Peace Love and Understanding”.

Maybe after I stop distracting coworkers I can add some ‘impromptu show tunes’ back into my life when my condition’s more under control.

[Nzinga_Seated]

For the record, digs, I like people who suffer from your condition. You wanna belt out a song at random, great, I may join in or dance a jig. You wanna mumble to yourself as you work, I don’t care. But the OP is talking about something very in particular that some people do. You know it when you see it, but it is hard to explain. They murmur in the exact kind of cadence one uses when one is talking to another person. They often will do it in an exasperated tone, too, so that you will be rude not to check on them and find out what they said and if they need something. Then it turns out they were “just talking to themselves”. Welp, now they’ve pulled you out of your little reverie or whatever and they feel a little better, having lapped up some attention. Some people just can’t be in a room without having the focus shift to them at some point. It is a really weird thing, but I have noticed this phenomena with more than a few people.

[AnaMen]

@Nzinga_Seated

For the record, digs, I like people who suffer from your condition. You wanna belt out a song at random, great, I may join in or dance a jig. You wanna mumble to yourself as you work, I don’t care. But the OP is talking about something very in particular that some people do. You know it when you see it, but it is hard to explain. They murmur in the exact kind of cadence one uses when one is talking to another person. They often will do it in an exasperated tone, too, so that you will be rude not to check on them and find out what they said and if they need something. Then it turns out they were “just talking to themselves”. Welp, now they’ve pulled you out of your little reverie or whatever and they feel a little better, having lapped up some attention. Some people just can’t be in a room without having the focus shift to them at some point. It is a really weird thing, but I have noticed this phenomena with more than a few people.

Yep yep yep, that is it exactly!

[Anaamika]

@Nzinga_Seated

For the record, digs, I like people who suffer from your condition. You wanna belt out a song at random, great, I may join in or dance a jig. You wanna mumble to yourself as you work, I don’t care. But the OP is talking about something very in particular that some people do. You know it when you see it, but it is hard to explain. They murmur in the exact kind of cadence one uses when one is talking to another person. They often will do it in an exasperated tone, too, so that you will be rude not to check on them and find out what they said and if they need something. Then it turns out they were “just talking to themselves”. Welp, now they’ve pulled you out of your little reverie or whatever and they feel a little better, having lapped up some attention. Some people just can’t be in a room without having the focus shift to them at some point. It is a really weird thing, but I have noticed this phenomena with more than a few people.

Agreed!

[digs]

Does everyone realize this is like telling your grandpa that you really do like his horrible puns? I’m trying to be more considerate of people at work, and realizing that not everyone “has a (cheesy 80s pop) song in their heart”*.

But, yeah, I get that it’s a different class of distraction than the “Wait, is she talking to someone? Like maybe me?” muttering.

You should hear my falsetto as I belt out “Josie’s on a vacation far away…”
(I purposely walk into work via a huge stairway with primo acoustics, so they can hear me coming, and I bust in those double doors just as I reach the chorus: "I don’t wanta lose your love… to…niiiiight!**"*

[Anaamika]

@digs

Does everyone realize this is like telling your grandpa that you really do like his horrible puns?

Oh, the horror! My dad tells horrible jokes to strangers. Only English is not his first language and he’s not very good at it so no one, no one has any idea what he’s talking about. Salesladies look at me, all confused.

ETA: While dad laughs at his own joke.

[Inigo_Montoya]

@digs

(I purposely walk into work via a huge stairway with primo acoustics, …

Love that place. I do the singing version of the head-slamming monks from The Holy Grail. Sounds great.

@AnaMen

Yep yep yep, that is it exactly!

Ah, in that case–Support for the OP. I haven’t run into that but it does sound annoying as hell.

[Boyo_Jim]

Reminds me of an old Lily Tomlin standup line: “Wouldn’t it be nice if they took all those street people who talk to themselves and paired them up? Then they would look like they’re talking to each other.”

[Missy2U]

@AnaMen

Yep yep yep, that is it exactly!

My apologies, AnaMen - I completely misunderstood your original post - NOW I get what you’re getting at and yes, you’re right - that would drive ANYONE straight up a wall.

[Anaamika]

I should start a blog. “Shit my boss says”. Except it wouldn’t be funny.

Today, in the past hour, she has:

dropped someone’s apple in the fridge, and sang, “Ohhhhh, noooo, I dropped an apple. It will be all bruised! Don’t tell anyone! Tee hee.”
Said in a singsong voice “I aaaaaaaam goooooooooing craaaaaaaaazy.”
Told a lengthy story about her husband and her child, not even ascertaining whether anyone was listening or not!
talked out loud about how she will be leaving early on monday because her kid has a doctor’s appointment
sang, “I aaaaam haaaaaving an M&M…”

She’s only been out near my desk twice and has managed to do all that.