My mother tried to tickle my father. Once. She ended up being kicked in the face. I’m the same way-my immediate reaction is to start kicking-I broke the hinges on a friend’s glasses once.
Neither of those times were intentional. That’s just my reflexes. My father’s as well.
Maybe brothers are the key. I had several of them and learned not to be ticklish as a form of self-defense.
I’m not of the hugging-as-dominance school of thought. It just pisses me off that some near-stranger assumes that it is okay to touch me. Not to mention that I have no idea where that embrace has been. Why would I want any of it on me? Yuk.
I am very, very ticklish and find tickling painful and assaulting. The closest analogy I can think of is a full blown shock from an electrical outlet that lasts for a while. I can’t breath when I am tickled which is a problem because I am using all of my energy to get away that my air supply doesn’t last long. I have kicked and punched people who have tickled me for more than a second or too. Those of you who don’t see much problem with tickling can get off it. It is much worse for some than others.
Agreed. I just don’t like people touching me. Don’t get me started on hand-holding – ICK ICK ICK! But dominance? Nope. Don’t see it.
If it’s no big deal, why is it called the tickle monster, hmmm?? Ever think of that, Mr. Smart Guy?
Okay, seriously, talking about tickling this way sounds over-the-top, but that’s how some people feel about it. For some people, it’s a big invasion of personal space and that’s all there is to it. It’s usually a fun thing. If your partner hates it and you know that and keep doing it, it can get into uncomfortable assault-y territory. My girlfriend hates being tickled. Once in a blue moon, I can get away with pretending to do it as a joke. If I did it constantly over her objections, that would be asshole-ish.
I figure as an adult tickling an adult, it’s pretty much fair to punch the tickler hard enough it hurts or bleeds.
I had a boss that was coming up behind me and rubbing my neck. This sentence sentence stopped it, “You don’t have to be the opposite sex for sexual harassment you know.”
Tickeling is not fun for me- it is painful, it hurts, it is scary and I will go into full fight mode when tickled out of reflex. Not because I’m fussy about my space but because it is a painful attack on me. Anyone who knows or cares about me knows to not tickle me- and out of respect they don’t. If someone persisted in tickling me when they saw the obvious distress I was in- that would be a huge breech of trust and cause me to lose trust in them. If they keep doing it despite understanding how unhappy it would make me, well then it can be a form of dominance and a mind game.
Perhaps you like to be tickled and have fond memories of it- fine! But do not generalize your experience to everyone.
Ya shouldn’t oughtta try to tickle me, Johnny. My mother tried to tickle me once. ONCE
/Danny Vermin.
I think the whole tickling offshoot of the other discussion (in which I flat out refuse to involve myself) was making extremely light of a rather serious situation, but that’s just me…
Tickling and whether or not it’s acceptable varies, I think. Depends on who’s doing the tickling, how well they know you, how appropriate it is for them to even be touching you, etc. Personal space is a respect thing, and some people don’t take that seriously enough.
Well sure. I think that was the OP’s point - people are generalizing their view of tickling as torture to the OP of the other thread. Obviously, while she may hatehateHATE it, she doesn’t actually mind it, or she’d take steps.
We’ve always had a safe word with our kids when it comes to tickling, ever since the day my son (about 3 or 4) said, “No! No, stop!” and I did. He was so disappointed! So I explained to him that while he was having fun, he said, “No,” and I would always respect that and so should everyone else because it was his body (as long as his health wasn’t at stake.) He said, “but I can’t NOT say no! Tickle me!” So we decided “Peanut butter” means, “Now I really mean no!”
You hated it, it was against your will, yet you look back on it with fondness. That makes no sense to me.
You could suggest high fives instead. Or the next time they hug you squeeze them back and whisper, “Thank you for the hug. No one has wanted to touch me since I got the results from the dermatologist.”
This may be totally wrong, but I find it really cute that your son learned about safewords at the age of 3. For some reason that just really (I’m so sorry for this, but the word fits!) tickles me.
I agree – it’s cute. My kids just know that “no” always means “no.” So they will giggle and yell “I’m gonna pee on you!” but unless they say “stop” or “no more” the play will continue.
I don’t understand why you need to pretend it’s an unconscious elbow. Tickling a person who has asked you to stop is assault. How serious an assault depends on how much force the tickler uses to keep the person from getting away. If someone keeps tickling you after you’ve repeatedly asked them to stop and tries to restrain you from removing yourself, a blow to the nose is entirely appropriate.
You sick freak.
But! But! But! Don’t you KNOW that a child knowing about safe words is tantamount to actually having sex in front of them?!
You’re so cute when you pretend to be outraged. 
I might just have to tickle you.
Count me amongst the people who had a safeword from tickling my little sister who wanted to be tickled even when she told me to stop. (Never used peanut butter, or banana, for that matter.)
This is exactly my response. I find tickling to be EXTREMELY unpleasant, and it doesn’t make me laugh at all; instead, it makes me unconsciously and (if necessary) violently do what it takes to stop the tickling.
I’m a pretty extreme case, though.
Does he hug other people inappropriately, or just you? If there are others, you should be able to approach someone in HR, report his pattern of sexual harassment and remain anonymous. HR should issue a notice to him to keep his meathooks to himself and that should be the end of it.
Even if it’s only you, there is no reason why you should put up with sexual harassment because of fear of retaliation. Your boss is breaking the law by creating a hostile working environment and is putting himself and the company in jeopardy.
Of course it’s easy for me to sit behind a keyboard and advise you. Do what you need to make it throguh, obviously.
IANAL, etc.