This just reminded me of the nightmare I had when I was a kid - I was being held down and tickled by a clown *and * the Cookie Monster. It was scary as hell - one of those dreams that even after you wake up, when you close your eyes, you’re stuck in it again. Therefore, I must agree with Guinastasia’s response.
In re the OP: I’m so ticklish it’s stupid - if I’m already being tickled, the backs of my hands become ticklish, too. I can’t stand backrubs because my back is so ticklish. In the first grade, I once peed myself on a friend’s doorstep because she refused to stop tickling me. It was absolutely awful. So, yes, being tickled can be a form of torture. It’s fun up to a point, but then it becomes extremely painful. It makes my skin intensely sensitive and take me a few minutes to recover afterwards to the point where I can stand being touched. Someone upthread compared being ticked to an electric shock - that’s a very accurate comparison for me.
I’ve got no problem with my personal space - I like hugging - and I’ve got no issues with “roles,” but my skin’s just really sensitive. So if someone tickles me and a) I’m not expecting it or b) they don’t stop when I tell them to, it’s very possible someone and/or their property will get hurt.
Yeah, I used to think tickling was okay until my entire family was wiped out in a drive-by tickling in '02. I still get flashbacks to that day, the day I looked over the faces of my family, grins of horror still affixed to their pale, dead faces. I spent the next three years tracking the tickler that done it, but to this day, even the sound of laughter causes me to go cold.
That’s right, I have a safeword for laughing. I am not undersocialized or carrying around a ludicrous amount of childhood emotional baggage.
I had a great uncle who held me down and tickled me a couple of times when I was little. There was nothing sinister about it, but I didn’t know him very well and I didn’t like it. I was uneasy around him for the rest of his life, which is a shame because he was a neat person.
I tickle my kids occasionally but never while seriously restraining them. At one time my older son could actually be tickled remotely - all you had to do was stretch out your hands in his direction and wiggle your fingers, and he’d clutch his ribcage and fall over.
I disagree with the OP- tickling can definitely be an act of violence and aggression. I’m extremely ticklish and I hate to be tickled. Anyone stronger than me could hold me down and tickle me, and then claim innocence, “What? It’s just tickling, I’m not doing anything bad to you.” It’s a passive-aggressive form of torture in some cases. Fortunately I can also break noses and ribs and claim, “What? It’s just my reflexes.”
My late husband used tickling as a form of dominance/torture. Bruises and all. “You shouldn’t get mad, it’s only tickling!” :rolleyes: My ass. :mad:
My current husband is extremely ticklish, and I do tickle him on occasion, but only for a few seconds. He tickles me too, but I just have to wiggle my fingers at him and he stops. That’s the way it should be, just a little bit of play.
I hate being tickled, but I also hate missing out on the tickle fun in my family. If my husband insists, I will let him and my daughter tickle me until I ruin the fun by getting all serious about it. My daughter loves being tickled. By tickled I mean, if you hover your fingers within five inches of her neck, she dissolves into uncontrollable giggles.
I forgot this is a pitting. Yeah, I can get on board with this pitting, because it is annoying when people keep trying to take the freakin’ fun out of everything…just bitter and miserable.
If you hug me to hard, it is wrong. If you jiggle a baby on your lap so hard that she gets Shaken Baby Syndrome, it is wrong. If you tickle till one bruises or is traumatized it is wrong. Duh. Othewise, give me a break.
It’s not the tickling in itself, it’s being held down and restrained by someone stronger than yourself and then told that you should suck it up because “everyone likes it”. Or that it’s not that serious. It’s the intense claustrophobia and panic in being restrained by someone who isn’t taking no for an answer, and then they proceed to invade your personal space.
Of course, just being tickled sucks too. It’s about the same feeling as being poked with a cattle prod. It hurts! Get your Gollum fingers away from me.
There’s this crazy idea some people have that their bodies are theirs and they shouldn’t have other people doing things to their bodies they don’t approve of.
When I was a little boy, my older brother tickled my ruthlessly. I would laugh hard, and my face would get cramps. He was having great fun, but I couldn’t breathe. As long as I was tickled, I could not inhale. Keeping somebody from breathing is not play. It isn’t friendly.
My abdominal muscles hurt from reading this thread. I’m getting out of here.
I’m very ticklish, and it sucks. My SO has to be careful, because his affectionate caress or ear nibble can send me into fits of laughter and zooming out of the room. The laughter is an automatic response and should not be mistaken for pleasure or enjoyment. For me, tickling never has been fun or funny and never will be.
Safe words are pointless, since I can’t really speak when I’m being tickled. All my muscles tighten -sometimes to the point of cramping- and I can barely breathe. My only defense is to try to force my tickler’s hands away. I love my SO dearly, but it was all I could do to not punch and kick him with all my strength when he tickled me in fun last week. I don’t think he really understands how much I dislike it, and the last thing I want to do is drive the message home via an elbow to the throat. But after a few seconds of tickling, survival instinct kicks in, and all I want is for it to stop, no matter what.
People may not intend for it to be an act of incapacitation and dominance, but for some it has the same effect. If someone repeatedly restrained and tickled me, I’d feel fully justified in kicking them in the nads and never speaking to them again.
You know, that was the job I wanted: chick tickler.
Instead I got “editor.” :rolleyes:
Seriously, I can see the sadistic side of tickling and teasing. I don’t think this is a one-size-fits-all experience. I wish everyone had the OPs experience of tickling.
My sister and I inherited this from my father. We will reflexively hit, in the same way that if something swoops towards your head, you’ll probably instinctively duck, of if you startle my mom she’ll reflexively yelp. Try to tickle any of us, and you probably won’t get the full “cooch–” of “coochy coochy coo” out of your mouth before you’re seeing stars.
I learned when I was young enough to get the idea to tickle my sister. I sneaked up on her, tried to tickle her ribcage and her elbow left me with a serious shiner. I had no idea I was the same until a cousin and I were in a heap fighting over a football and he figured tickling me would make me let it go. He said I punched him, but I honestly don’t remember. I just remember a big “get away” movement with my whole body. And then I got grounded.
My girlfriend understands that I don’t like being tickled, so it’s a non-issuer. As far as she’s concerned, if someone says: “No, don’t” then no means no and you leave them be.
Thank you, Grammanaut! I wish you were MY son’s Grammanaut! When he was 10, he was visiting my brother, and my brother (a big guy) held him down and tickled him (something I never, ever did) and he freaked out.
His grandmother decided that meant he MUST HAVE BEEN ABUSED; and that started a world of trouble for the both of us.
My son is 16 and on the odd occasion I do tickle him now he stops me, he’s taller and stronger then me and only likes a wee tickle, but as a little boy he loved a tickle. I understand the fact that a tickle is something he has grown out of.
I work with little children everyday, many who love a good tickle and it is often a good way to make an introduction with a little person. I hate tickles myself so I can see when “NO…giggle, snort, giggle…NOOO” means MORE TICKLES PLEASE! as opposed to 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOO giggle NOOOOOO" which means STOP! It’s all all about body language. I know many children who actively seek tickles.
Some tickle for torture, some tickle for fun. There is nothing better then a tickle enjoyed.
