Anyway, it really disturbs me that people are so insecure with their bodies and “roles” or whatnot that they can criticize something as simple as tickling.
Growing up, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been attacked by the “tickle monster” ala my father. Much against my will, I assure you, but I understood it as something completely non-threatening. I hated it. Yes, even hatehateHATED it, but I still look fondly back on those interactions with late Dad.
C’mon, have this many people REALLY gotten to the age they have without having involuntary tickle-fests at sleep overs, camp, etc?
There is a spoof film out there with a Trapped Hero scenario. I think it might be a bond-blofeld spoof but I could be wrong. Everything looks serious until the villain pulls out his instrument of torture - a feather.
And at this point the whole audience goes :rolleyes:
I hated being tickled (but giggled none the less, what’s up with that?)
My solution was to wear clothes and shoes.
Edit: If anything, I wasn’t tickled enough! I got off lightly
For me, it’s because I remember how my stepfather would tickle my brother until he wet his pants and cried. His fingers left bruises. When I’m around people who are tickling each other, my stomach knots up.
Acceptability pretty much comes down to do the people dong it use it as torture, or a quick little game. My sister was tickled as easily as by pressing your finger to her tummy. It was touch, giggle, and done. She was just like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
People who tickled always freaked me out. I trained myself not to be ticklish. They’d try it a couple of times and then leave me alone. I have seen people who tickle kids to an uncomfortable extent, and I suppose it could feel like torture to the ticklee, especially if he/she had no ability or opportunity to escape from it.
I haven’t figured out a way to get people to stop goddamn **hugging **me, though. Maybe a spiked bustier…
The spiked bustier helps, but the Glare of Death and a cold “Excuse me? Could you stop that, please?” generally works very effectively. Barring that, stand still like a tree while they hug, and take a big step back when they let go. Repeat offenders are very rare.
A Priori Tea,
rockin’ the personal bubble of steel
Unfortunately, not my boss. Got any suggestions for that, while still enabling me to keep my job?
Mostly, I just say ‘please don’t hug me’ when people are moving into prime hug position. That works pretty well. But having had a lecture from boss on ‘attitude’, I’m not sure that either that sentence - much less the spiked bustier - are gonna fly.
If it were me, I’d say “While I appreciate your encouragement of our rapor, I really don’t like being hugged in a professional environment. What can we do instead, that will keep up this good rapor, while allowing me to maintain a bit more personal space?”
Personally, I think a boss who hugs without permission is often a shitty boss to begin with - but maybe that’s just me.
I normally don’t go out of my way to correct someone’s spelling, unless they ask me to, but that really looks too much like “raper” for my taste. The word you want is “rapport.”
I tickle my 2 year-old son but always make sure he has room to retreat from it and end it at his discretion. People who restrain a child to tickle them non-stop borders on a mild form of torture.
And a word of warning: If you attempt to tickle me as an adult I am not responsible for a possible unconcious elbow across the bridge of your nose. I’ve had people get angry with me after I told them not to tickle me and then they end up hurt.
Heh. I am not ticklish at all (much to the chagrin of my children) precisely because my brothers would hold me down and try to tickle me until I peed my pants when I was a kid. Even so, I love a good tickle-fight with the kids (my kids are both so ticklish, just waggling my fingers near them sets them into giggling fits).
May I pit the people who see hugs as some bizarre act of dominance as a slight hijack? While I loathe being touched (especially hugged!), I still don’t see it as a dominance thing, just as an “ick, quit fucking touching me!” thing.
My wife is not ticklish but I am extremely. I hate being poked and tickled and I’ve told her that a thousand times but sometimes she still does it to me and she’ll get mad at me if I get mad. I know she thinks she’s just playing but for me it’s not fun at all and I hate it. I’ve told her in calm conversational ways and she still doesn’t get it. Oh well right?
I tickle my kids but like Hampshire said, I always give them room to get away and never pin them down or trap them in it.
One person in my college crowd really liked to tickle the pretty girls, mostly under the armpit, and really hated being tickled himself, and absolutely would not tolerate being touched by a male. The girls all avoided him as much as possible and some of them slapped him. I’m pretty sure he was only tickling to mask groping. He works in fundamentalist religious politics now, of course.
Praise Cthulu! I’m not the only one. BoyTabby tickles me and then gets all huffy when I flop about madly in throes of displeasure and some bony part of me connects with some sensitive part of him. Some people never learn. Don’t tickle this tabby, she’s got claws!
And re the OP: I see where you’re coming from; tickling is generally intended as a fun thing, not a weapon of psychological warfare. But I can see how it can be abused, or used to disguise more insidious intent. So there is definitely a middle ground here. Let’s all be on the safe side here, and Don’t tickle bufftabby!!!
