Hmm, I think my joke is funnier than yours.
We had to do this when our cocker spaniel ate my wife’s engagement ring. With the spaniel’s fecal matter, that is.
But then when I accidentally swallowed a necklace, we said the hell with it.
I know an old man… who swallowed a fly.
I don’t know why… he swallowed that fly.
Perhaps he’ll die?
I like to drink Oolong while I’m watching the Oblongs.
Or is it: I like to watch Oolong tea while drinking the Oblongs? 
How does one accidentally swallow a necklace? :dubious:
Daddy drinks because you cry.
Does it give you the trots?
Indeed, I’ve only ever swallowed necklaces on purpose. I’m sure Swallowed My Cellphone would agree. (Who d’ya think went through that poop?)
I’ll have to say, one does meet some intestine people on the boards.
Just popping in to say this thread amuses me.
You post completely wastes my time.
THANKS!
Rather than start a new thread about statements taken out of context to hilarious results, I’ll put it here. I was watching the Food Network which was having a sugar challenge. Spun sugar, blown sugar, pulled sugar, you know the drill. So this one guy was doing a safari theme and decided to try something new:
“I’ve never blown a giraffe.”
Well, I would hope not; how could you even get your mouth around it?
Best giggle of the day.
This thread is now about WAFFLES.
Basic Waffle Recipe
The ingredients for this basic waffle recipe are the same as on the front page. We will need: 4 ounces of all purpose flour, 4 ounces of whole-wheat flour, one teaspoon of sugar, 2 teaspoons of baking powder, ½ tablespoon salt, three eggs, one and a half cup of milk, and some vegetable oil. All this stuff will give you eight or nine, 9 inch sized waffles.
This basic waffle recipe will have five steps:
Step 1: Put all the dry ingredients - flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt into one bowl.
Step 2: Break the eggs and separate whites from the egg yolk.
Step 3: Put egg yolk, milk, and oil into another bowl and work on it until you get a nice and even liquid.
Step 4: Now throw what is in your wet bowl into the dry one and start mixing again and again and again until there are no lumps left. No lumps - good, lump - bad.
Step 5: You ain’t done mixing… not take the egg whites and shake them, work them, go crazy… beat them until you get white and fluffy egg white snow.
Step 6: Gently mix the snow into the batter you made before (hint - this will make waffles a little softer). (applause) You just produced your basic waffle recipe batter.
All there is left to do is to put half cup of batter into the hot and steaming ready waffle iron, yearning to make you some waffles. Yummy. If you are not seeing pink giraffes dancing around your waffle iron we guess you are not that hungry yet and you can leave batter to stand still for a while (this is a bonus trick to make waffles even better).
Well, OK, glad to help you in your quest for truth and beauty.
You know, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.