I Pit The Alabama Dept Of Health Statistics

My father in law recently past away and I have had nothing but problems trying to work out his estate and probate. I have already pitted the Medical Examiner and now I need to add the Health Statistics Department as well.

When I originally obtained a copy of the death certificate, I found out my FIL’s crazy girlfriend (that we found out happens to be legally married to another man) put herself down as my father-in-laws spouse.

I contacted the Alabama Health Department Center for Health Statistics and explained the situation that the woman that claimed to be the deceased’s wife, indeed was not. I asked for it to be corrected. I provided the forms I downloaded from their web site for record corrections and mailed it in.

I received the entire package back in a week with a request for money for the corrected copy and immediately sent it back with a check.

Two weeks later, I received a letter asking us to “prove” my FIL was not married. I wrote back that I have no idea how one “proves” someone isn’t married and requested they contact the girlfriend at the address I provided and ask her to provide a marriage certificate. Of course, she would be unable to do that. I CCd this to the director and the governor of Alabama along with the absurd request for proof. Problem solved.

Or not.

I received another letter this past weekend explaining that they gather this information from the funeral home and medical examiner (the same funeral home that cremated my FIL body without permission from his next of kin since this nutty gf claimed to be his wife) and we need to get a court order to have them change the record.

So essentially because the bureaucracy is too lazy to request one document from my FIL’s girlfriend, I should pay for an attorney and tie up the courts. In addition, the probate is on hold because we need two certified copies of the death certificate. I am tempted to turn this entire story over to the Alabama media.

(1) yes, I would suggest turning it over to the media. I don’t know about the local area, but here we have Birmingham’s Fox “6 on your side” for stuff like that.

(2) what do you hope to gain? Is there an inheritance riding on this?

(3) why isn’t your ex dealing with this?

I mean, I love ya and all, but you had to know that question was going to get asked. You have your hands full with everything else (yes, I follow your posts about your family and not it’s not creepy DAMMIT!) so unless you are wanting to get the money back from the funeral and this is the only thing standing in your way I say let the ex deal with this and wash your hands of the mess.

Don’t borrow trouble.

They are so damned bureacratic and stupid. My mother’s death certificate lists her as a veteran of the US Armed Forces and they wouldn’t change it til we proved she wasn’t (how do you prove someone’s NOT a veteran? It hasn’t caused any problems so we’ve left it alone rather than pursue it).
My name was misspelled on my birth certificate due to a VERY OBVIOUS typo (Jnoathan instead of Jonathan). They won’t change it unless I legally change my name to what it’s supposed to be in the first place, so I just write it Jonathan and explain in the rare event it’s necessary. (When I read Silence of the Lambs it mentioned Jame Gumb’s insistance people call him Jame because of a similar typo; I’ve thought of going ballistic when I’m not called Jnoa.)

Another Alabama bureaucratic screw-up I’m dealing with:

My grandmother (who died in 1989) has a sizeable (not as in huge, but a few thousand dollars) bank account we knew nothing about still in her name that came to light on the unclaimed property lists. My grandmother died intestate- her only will had left her estate to my father (her only child) but by the time of her death healthcare had taken everything (we thought) and my father had been dead for 7 years, so the will wasn’t probated. (My father’s was.)

I’ve been trying to claim this money for years now. First I had to prove that I was her grandson, so I sent in my death certificate (which names my father, who had a not common name and was a Jr. at that, and names me as informant), then I sent my father’s birth certificate (his full name and gives his age, the same one as on my birth certificate, AND lists his mother’s name [and she had an unusual first name]), and I sent a copy of my father’s probated will declaring me and my siblings as his children and also mentioning his mother (he left her lifetime occupancy of the house she lived in which he co-owned). All of this should prove I’m who I say I am- I also filled out forms with everybody’s social security numbers and addresses.

The state refuses to acknowledge the validity of death certificates and wills and birth certificates in claiming heirship. I had to submit two notarized forms from people saying “I know him and he’s that crazy old bitch’s grandson”, and then they were sent forms asking how they knew this. Since one did not know my father (he’s been dead 25 years) she was disallowed so I have to find somebody who’ll swear they knew my dad (know how many people die in 25 years?) and that at least according to his will and my mother I’m his son. They won’t believe vital statistics, but they’ll believe somebody who says “Yeah, that’s him” even if that person’s a Guatemalan day laborer I paid $4 to perjure himself (which I haven’t done, but it’s tempting).

I am so pissed at this mess, I’d be happy to help you out and you can keep the four bucks.

On the other hand, this could be a great opportunity to give someone a hard time.

Person in Authority: OK, Jonathon …
You: That’s not correct.
PA: Pardon?
You: My name is not Jonathon. It’s spelled J-N-O-A …
PA: I thought that was a typo.
You: No, no, that’s how it appears on my birth certificate.
PA: Uh, so, how do you pronounce it?
You: Throat Warbler Mangrove
-or-
You: I don’t.

You know, I’ve read a lot of Foxy’s threads and it never occured to me to ask this. Why are you dealing with this Foxy? Isn’t this the ex’s problem?

Yes, I guess I’d better answer this. Nothing is really riding on the matter getting resolved and it probably will not be. I don’t have any intention of going to court over this. It isn’t my family. I was just helping my husband and daughter who are the only kins to have the records correct. From the looks of it, Ms. Nutzo is going to be listed as his wife for all eternity because the government doesn’t seem to give a shit if the records are correct or not. I will just send a request in for copies of the death certificate as is for the probate attorney. That is unless one of you bright folks have an idea of how this can be done without going through the expense of a big darn deal that should be totally unnecessary.

My husband has a medical condition which causes him to be unable to deal with stress and conflict. He is handling most of his father’s death and the day to day details associated with it very well and I am very impressed. I really would rather leave it at that folks.

Fair enough. If the reason that you are dealing with it is “because I won’t feel satisfied until I see it through” that’s good enough for me.

Can you get a copy of Ms. Nutso’s marriage license and send that as well as proof that she is married? Maybe that would open it up to her to show proof of divorce or death of her first husband?

Bolding mine.

Holy crap, Sampiro, you’ve got some damned thorough documentation!

Well, it’s conjecture- sort of like prepaying taxes. I figure “complications from skateboarding accident, July 9 2028” sounded reasonable.

If that stuff is public knowledge that could either help you along or get her some jail time since you can’t be married to two people.
Bring that up to her and see if she’s willing to tell the truth.
Good idea ShelliBean!

Is her husband still alive. If so an affidavit from him saying that they never got a divorce, plus a copy of the marriage certificate should be proof that she was never married to Foxy40’s FIL. Either that or do some kind of search of every state’s family court regarding divorce proceedings.

What pricks. I find myself having to prove all the time that I actually AM married. I would like to know the secret of the trick that turns this around. Can I just say to the authority in question either of these things?

Them: "Ms. Faruiza, the only thing we need in order to process XXX is your marriage license. You need to prove to us that you are the spouse of Mr. Faruiza.

Me: Prove I’m not bitches!!
or
No. u.

Yikes. I almost submitted my actual real name!! What would the neighbors think?

I kept my name for business purposes when I married. I can’t even recall how many times I was asked to produce a marriage certificate. Yet, she doesn’t claim to have the same last name and no one asks to see anything. Now they want US to prove they AREN’T married.
I really wish I was a bitch. I would tell her husband. However, she would lose her alimony and health insurance and I am not that cruel.

I am a bitch. You want me to do it?