What__The__Fuck!?! Why is it every bar/nightclub has to have music so loud it makes your nose hairs dance? (And no, mine aren’t long). If I can feel the beat through my bladder, or frankly, any other bodily area other than my ears, then it’s too loud! Nothing like going on a first date and having to YELL AT THE PERSON YOU’RE WITH AND DON’T KNOW YET. Geeze, I hope spittle doesn’t happen from my mouth as I try to make witty and fun conversation with the lovely girl across the table from me! For fucks sake! Every single bar in my area blares the music, be it live or canned, so that any remotely normal conversation, even at a large increase in volume, is totally impossible. Every somewhat relaxed restaurant I can think of to bring a new date has this soul killing, skull shattering noise! I’m not about to bring a date to a (say it with me fast!) ApplebeesTGIFridaysTexasRoadhouseChilisLonghorn. If I want heated frozen shit, I’ll eat at home. Anyone else find the volume of most places totally unenjoyable?
Preach it! The volume of the sound system at the Monte Carlo BrewPub was so loud it just about curdled my beer. Not the best thing when you are trying to talk to fellow Dopers.
I think this is the idea:
When it’s really loud, you can’t talk.
When you can’t talk, your mouth is free to drink more alcohol.
That’s exactly why I never got into the bar scene. I have bad hearing as it is- in bars, I’m effectively deaf. I usually ended up just nodding as someone else talked. Kinda hard to pick up the chicks that way, ya know?*
Some restaurants are the same way. Hey, if I’m out to dinner with friends, it’d be nice if I could actually hear what they’re saying.
*[SUB]On the other hand, they might’ve thought I was just a good listener.[/SUB]
I blame the kids. White dopes on punk and whatnot.
Yeah, there are times when i like loud music, but it’s also nice to be able to sit down and have, you know, a CONVERSATION, without having to yell at the top of your lungs.
I also find it totally unappealing, but I wonder if one of the things people like about it is that it forces you to get very close to someone to talk to them. That establishes a sort of baseline level of physical intimacy that many hope will lead to more.
I don’t know…for me, it depends on why I’m at the bar. If I’m there to listen to a band, I would prefer that it be loud enough to drown out other people talking, since I’d rather hear the band than the morons at the next table. Tonight we went to see a great band play at a tiiiiiny little bar, and it was perfect, loud enough that I wasn’t annoyed by others’ conversations, but not too loud that my companions and I couldn’t lean over and talk to each other in normal voices. I hate it when it’s so loud it hurts, though.
If, however, the goal of the evening is to have a relaxed, conversation-centered night at a bar, I will pick one that doesn’t have loud music, or has a patio outside.
What I’d like to pit is guys who get all drunk and high on whatever that guy was on, practically sit in my lap and get all grabby and call me Natalie, then try and steal the cigarette that’s hanging out of my mouth as I’m attempting to light it, and screaming that I’m an evil witch when I back away. What the hell?
The trick is to use the volume to your advantage, and lean in closer/sit beside her, etc… Obviously, don’t be creepy about it, but it’s a cheap way to get a tad more intimate.
I agree with you though… the noise is way too much. At my local beer joint(Flying Saucer), it seems like they continually turn up the music on the PA so that you can hear it over the conversations, which starts a sort of arms-race on noise.
What you should know is that this can and does cause long term hearing loss.
The damage is cumulative, and incremental.
You do not notice the damage, but it is particularly problematic for young people who also use MP3 players and also frequent nightlife.
Those most at risk are the staff working in such environments.
Employers need to be aware that they can be successfully sued for compensation, even if no hearing loss has occurred, because the noise levels are such that it is likely to do so.
http://youth.hear-it.org/page.dsp?page=1590
There is a huge amount of material, especially on those who have to work in this environment.
They do it because the music spills into the street, and acts as a form of advertising, and of course, people who talk do not drink as much as those who are not talking, so the noise is useful to drown speech out.
This level of noise is also useful in encouraging people to move from bar to bar, and when you drink in rounds this forces even the slower drinkers to consume more in order to stick with their pals who are geting ready to leave.
Sounds like you have very few local opportunities for a romantic evening out.
However it is very easy to do stuff on your own, you really just need a wee bit confidence and patience. First and by far most importantly of all don’t just chat up anybody who hoves into view. Take your time and find lassies* you like. Just talk to women, the more the merrier. It’s not scary**. You will almost certainly find women who enjoy your company and whose company you enjoy, especially if you make them laugh. This does not mean at all that you have “scored”, seriously, this is not the case, but it’s a good way to build experience. I don’t know what it is like where you live but barmaids here are uniformly excellent at this.
Just get yourself used to the state of expecting nothing, but go out with some added confidence. Seriously, if you’ve clicked you will know about it. It might seem to be a vulgar thing to say but you will know.
Now you seem to be wondering about entertaining a young lady. You don’t need much in your house to do this. ***
Do you have a cooker, with multiple rings? A fridge to store things at below room temperature? A hoover to clean up your discarded toenail-clippings? A mop to clean the floors? A pristine shower and bathroom? Clean sheets? If so, you’ll be fine: good luck!
- used here for women of all ages and circumstances. Meant well too.
** Although it can be if you are not very confident
Some things never change. Exact same scenario was happening in my Saturday Night Fever days, party-child of the seventies that I am.
Guess what? I couldn’t understand/hear a word anyone said to me, so I just yelled back in kind or nodded. When I grew tired of this futile exchange, I simply took to the dance floor – with or without a partner. The latter choice resulted in many a morning waking up next to someone whom I knew absolutely nothing about, and, if luck was on my side, didn’t make me jump ten feet up in the air in absolute disgust. Both at myself and the person next to me – though looking back in time, there was no one to blame but my own self.
Fast forward – and I do mean fast – a quarter century, and I don’t think I’ve been to bars/discos more than a dozen times since.
Dunno. Guess some people would call what’s happening to you the natural process of “growing up and maturing.”
Not to worry. It’s not as bad as it sounds…though being bald as an eightball while growing hair out my ears is certainly not one of the perks I was looking for in my maturing process.
Congrats all the same.
PS-Exchange “latter” for “former” in above post, please. I am nothing if not grateful for my fully functioning right hand…
I truly sympathize. In my town the vast majority of the bars cater to underage college students (funny, that). Music so loud you can’t have a conversation when you’re standing on the street within 30 ft of the bar entrance.
There was, however, one glorious bar with a very good happy hour, a lovely patio, and good, appropriately-volumed music, that we would frequent.
Naturally, that bar was destroyed by a tornado this spring.
The tragedy of the situation is that directly across the street was a bar as bad or worse than the one the OP describes. Why couldn’t mother nature have punished the patrons of that hell-hole? Verily, I weep for my bar…
:o Sorry about that.
Ooh. You took mine.
Anyway, I have noticed that the music is louder than it used to be. No, I’m not just getting old. If that were the case, it would seem softer to me. Anyway, loud music was always about intimacy. It works like it does in the spy movies, when they think the room is bugged. The music allows only the person listening to pick up you’re conversation. I don’t know why it’s so much louder now, except that it can be cheaply, thanks to technology advances.
What I hate, though are these cafes and restaurants that have high, vaulted ceilings. It carries all the ambient conversation right into your ear. It makes it impossible to have a conversation with the person across the table, because of the noise, and allows you to hear little snatches of other people’s conversations. So the only person whoi can’t hear what you’re saying is the person you’re talking to.
So, what DID you get into? Serious question.
Lizard, [sub]who unfortunately never liked Oregon all that much.[/sub]
I think most people who really enjoy these places have a subconscious fear of and/or natural aversion to intimate conversation anyway.
I mean, think of one of your friends who LOVES the club. Ever had a deep conversation with him or her even when the music wasn’t turned up?
Didn’t think so.
What a load of bollocks…I SAID, WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS!!!
LOAD!!! NO, NOT TOAD, LOAD!!!
No, my name isn’t Sandra…Jeez…BOLLOCKS, NOT BULLOCK!!!
Ah, fuck it, WANNANOTHER DRINK?