As I understand it, bars have three advantages over drinking at home: 1) There is a wider variety of liquor available, 2) You can meet people of your preferred gender, while in an intoxicated state that might make you each seem more attractive than normal, and 3) You get out of the house.
Advantages 1 and 3 I get. However, it seems that most bars work against option 2.
A) They’re dark - you can’t actually see the attractiveness level of the Person of Preferred Gender (PPG) with whom you are interacting.
B) They’re noisy - you can’t have a conversation with the PPG and determine whether they are interesting people or Limbaugh-spouting idiots.
C) The drinks are damn expensive - you can’t afford to buy more than a couple, not to mention buying one or two for the PPG as part of the courting process.
What am I missing? It seems like the more “meat market” ish a bar is, the more likely they are to have factors A,B,and C, so they must be percieved as net positives…???
Yeah, I’ve always wondered this too. I’m a pub person rather than a bar person - even when I was single, I was going out primarily to hang out with friends rather than to meet PPGs - and since I’m there for conversation and laughs, too-loud-to-talk is a dealbreaker for me.
I wonder if A) and B) could make insecure people feel more confident? Like, if you worry that you’re ugly or have no conversation, maybe you figure that the dim light will make you look better and the noise will cover any gaps in the conversation?
The only requirement for going to a bar is that you have to be 21. Other places to socialize and meet PPG’s may require much more, e.g. church groups, golf clubs, dance instruction, choir, knitting circles, fly fishing clubs, boating groups, etc etc.
How bad is your eyesight? Bars aren’t pitch black. Most, in fact, are quite well-lit. Or have you just never been to a bar and are hearing rumors?
Completely depends on the bar. If you don’t like noisy bars, go to the quiet bar right next door. I’d say noisy bars make up about 20% of the bars out there, in my experience.
This also depends on the bar, and depends on what you’re drinking.
That social interaction is fun? That many people enjoy meeting and talking with new people? That there are a vast variety of types of bars out there, and with a little bit of looking around even the most socially-isolated person can find one that suits their personality?
I don’t know if the OP is over 21, but if you are, why don’t you go find a bar and see for yourself?
People go to bars because they are convenient locations for getting out of the house, socializing with friends, and meeting new people.
I don’t know the psychology behind it, but bars tend to be dark and noisy (if they have music) because I guess it just seems more fun that way.
There are actually all kinds of bars. A lot of sports bars and lounges are actually relatively bright. A lot of quiet pubs are actually pretty quiet. I was never a big fan of the jam-packed meat market bars but people like them because they attract lots of random people of the opposite sex.
Suddenly realised I may be on the wrong side of a culture gap.
In the US, is there a distinction between a pub and a bar? When I see the word ‘bar’, I do think of somewhere that’s fairly dark, fairly loud and probably pretty expensive. If it’s well-lit, not too noisy and not too expensive, odds are it’s what I’d call a pub. (There are exceptions both ways, but that’s my general experience.) But Munch’s post has me wondering if I’m talking about a distinction that makes no sense elsewhere.
In the US they can be both at the same time, and even a few other things. Here it is just a name and one name fits all… a bar, pub, brewery, watering hole, whatever. And the owner may string several names for example, Mack’s Restaurant Bar & Pub.
So, no, there is no distinction. (Mind you… that in Virginia bars are required to sell food. This rule doesn’t apply to all states and I’m pretty sure there are many bars that sell no food at all.)
When a European says “pub,” I instantly translate it to “bar.” If challenged on this translation (“No, I mean a pub pub.”), then I assume you mean a place that’s intentionally themed English or Irish.
Anyway, I object to A, B, and C. I’ve never been in a bar too dark to see. The concept doesn’t even make sense to me. If they’re loud, it’s because there’s music playing and people like music, or people are talking, in which case talking is obviously possible. And as for expense, as Dr. Louis Dacris, ph.D., wrote in his collaboration with Stacy Ferguson, M.F.A.: “If you ain’t got no money, take your broke ass home!”
As others have said, in the U.S., “pub” is just considered a British Islesish term for “bar.” The only essential difference will be the presence of British or Irish flags and soccer jerseys and other themed regalia decorating the walls.
In fact, this is the first I’m learning that to some people there’s a difference.
I am over 21 (by about 20 years), but my friends have always tended to socialize at each other’s houses or at restaurants (which will usually serve drinks, but we’re mostly there for the food and conversation), not at bars.
The place I was at on Saturday was odd. They are a bar-and-restaurant, with a space for live music (I was there to hear the band, who played until 9pm), but after the band finished they put on loud electronic music to where you couldn’t hear yourself think and it became much more bar-ish than restaurant-ish.
ETA: Yes, it was St. Patrick’s Day…but I got the impression that this is their normal routine, just turned up to 11 and painted green for the holiday.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think of a pub as being a cozy, beer-drinking place with low- to mid-range prices, usually on the quiet side.
A bar can be a lot of things: cheap or expensive, loud or quiet. It could be a lounge, a club, or a dive. A bar definitely serves liquor as well as beer.
In TN, I think those are legally called “taverns.” Or at least they used to be. I meant to say that I think of “bar” as a more general term for any place that serves adult beverages. Pubs, clubs, nightspots, taverns, saloons, lounges, grills, dives, holes, etc. all have more specific meanings.
In reference to 2): it is also a factor that women are more attractive in bars. Alcohol, of course, but the dimmer light means the pupils dilate, and that makes women more attractive. I have the study around somewhere, but it amounted to “eyes dilate when you are interested in what you are looking at, therefore a woman with dilated eyes must be interested in you, therefore you subconsciously find her more attractive.” Although, on the downside, as observed by Maurice Chevalier: “Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.”
(I’m in the US) In my mind, a bar is any place that primarily serves adult beverages… if someone described something as a pub, depending on context I might think it meant an Irish or English themed bar, or what is sometimes called a “bar and grill” – a bar plus a dining area, the kind of place where it would be perfectly okay to bring kids during the day to eat lunch or early dinner.
The meat market was never my bar genre of choice, but I think part of the thing is that you don’t CARE if the target of your attention is a Limbaugh-spouting idiot.
I don’t go out to bars much at all any more, but I never liked the “meat market” kind. Too expensive and a lot of bullshit (both male and female). I usually didn’t care for the really loud places, either. I like music, but I like to have conversation, too. I’ve met some of the most interesting people in my life at bars-- from high class clubs to the grungiest of dives.
Those loud, noisy, dark, crowded bars full of half-dressed people? Think of those as a liminal experience. It’s not about you, personally. It’s about being a part of this big group of energy. You can lose yourself in the crowd, the music and the energy (and, of course, the drink.) It’s like being at a sporting event- you don’t go to a sporting event to have a rational and calm appreciation for the game. You go to feel the atmosphere, the sights and the sounds, and to be part of an energetic whole. I wouldn’t go to one of these if I wasn’t already buzzed and in good company. In the dim light, to the music, everyone looks beautiful and galmourous. You feel beautiful and glamorous too- and maybe braver, funner, more flirtatious, whatever. It doesn’t matter that in the day time it’s just a bunch of normal people and you are back to your every day life…these places are all about getting lost in a beautiful moment. It’s about feeling like a part of something bigger than yourself- the same feeling you get at a concert, sporting event, even a movie or a play.
But of course, this is just one kind of bar. There are bars where you sit out on a warm patio and have a nice round of drinks with your friends. There are bars that are mostly a place for dancing. There are cozy neighborhood bars where you can meet your neighbors and play board games. There are classy bars whose main purpose is to give you an excuse to wear that really nice new cocktail dress you bought. There are sheesha bars with hookahs. There are date bars with lots of quiet recesses to make out in. There karaoke bars. there are networking bars where you are likely to meet people in your field. There are mixology bars that specialize in specific drinks or beer and wine bars for connoisseurs. Most bars are just like a restaurant without food- a pleasant place to spend time with people that is more interesting/conveniently located/comfortable/safe/neutral/social than your own home.
There’s no real hard and fast rules in the UK deciding which is a pub, and which is a bar- at one end, you have the country pubs, which can often be places you’d happily take the whole family to for dinner; they can have playgrounds, log fires, serve good food and be a very relaxing place to spend an evening chatting over a pint, and no-one will mind if you only want a soft drink. Proper pubs can be found in cities as well, but rarely in the centre; there’s some excellent pubs near me, in a large city- if they play music at all, it’s at low volume; the best local one has a skittles alley, a book swap and a weekly quiz.
Bars are exclusively found in large towns and cities, and are more of a place to meet up before going out clubbing, or just a place to get quite drunk and go on the pull. They’ll generally have a pool table, loud music, and TVs showing sport events, sometimes with a dancefloor and disco lighting. Your feet with probably stick to the floor in a bar, and you don’t want to know about the bathrooms.
There are places mid-way between the two, but a ‘proper pub’ has a very, very different vibe from a bar.