I’ve never seen one in real life. So I Googled
it.
Not a bad idea in the abstract. I’ve gotten some bad dings from shopping carts and dopes who don’t know how to park.
But you’re right. It’s hideous looking. Looks like a strip of truck tire that was kicked up on the highway. Really ugly. Blech!
Wow. That looks ridiculous.
My bumper badger is all scratched up!
I wish they made something to cover my bumper badger to protect it.
You mean something like a bumper badger badger?
“Steve, I’ve got a great idea!”
“What is it, Jimmy?”
“We’ll take a floor mat, and add some velcro straps…”
“I think I see where you’re going with this. Carry on.”
“…and sell them as bumper protectors!”
“But they’ll look silly, won’t they?”
“Yes, Steve, they will. Fortunately, we live in the country that gave the world the Breathe-Right Strip and the Fanny Pack (*non-Yanks, read “bum bag”).”
“We’ll make millions.”
Bah! Give me reactive armor any day.
Maybe car manufacturers should have stayed with metal bumpers with rubber guards/covers. Why did they switch to shiny plastic bumpers anyway? One little bump and they scratch, crack or shatter.
But… It’s a bumper! It’s **supposed ** to be out there and get bumped!
Next thing you know, some opportunist will be selling windshield wiper protectors to keep your wipers from getting wet.
Hey, you leave my Breathe Right Nasal Strips out of this. There are some nights I’d never get to sleep without them opening up my sinus passages enough so I can breathe. They’re worth their weight in platinum, they are.
As for the fanny pack, well, those are truly deserving of ridicule. Have at it, sir.
Weight savings, aerodynamics and most importantly, looks. Even moldings are pretty much worthless these days.
Have you ever had to replace a molded bumper? You can’t look at one sideways without doing $1500 worth of damage. I firmly believe that the only reason they were invented was to make more money for insurance companies and autobody shops.
I want bumpers that can actually bump things back!!! I don’t care about scratches and dings on my car - it’s a car, for god’s sake. It drives on the road in all weather - it’s supposed to be able to take wear and tear, not be some kind of pristine monument.
Actually, I found this out a few years ago when I nicked the corner of my garage as I was pulling out:
Those things on the front and back of your car that match your cars paint? Yeah, those aren’t bumpers. Those are “bumper covers” and cost $800 to replace. The “bumper” is a chunk of black plastic UNDER the pretty “bumper cover” that costs about $10 to replace. But no one ever needs to replace it because it’s protected by the bumper cover.*
Yes, you realize the implications. The Bumper Badgers are actually Bumper Cover Covers. No joke.
*YMMV: The bumper vs bumper-cover thing is true at least for the 1994 Toyota Corolla.
That’s pretty much standard these days. Although most actual bumpers probably cost more than $10, they’re at least a magnitude lower than the bumper cover.
I can’t think of any reason that doesn’t increase my blood pressure for bumpers being covered with things that can’t touch other things.
(Badgers from Badger annoy badgers from Badger who annoy other badgers from Badger )
You know what else is supremely stupid? In that linked picture up there, it’s clearly covering a bumper that has backup sensors.
Let me get this square…you are invalidating your backup sensor that would normally help you from backing into something that might scratch your paint, so that when you back up into something that might scratch your paint, it doesn’t?
Ow.
So what do you do with the Mushroom?
Damn you. And/or I should have read the entire thread.
Carry on.
I wonder if the people at U. of Wisconsin ever refer to their sports teams as the Badger Badger Badgers.
Same ol’ generic answer; Federal Regulations, that’s why. Sometime in the early 70s, energy-absorbing bumpers were first required. That’s why all the cars of that era have chrome railroad ties on each end, with massive shock absorbers behind them. The earliest soft-face bumpers (Chevy Monte Carlo, for example) were filled with a crushable plastic honeycomb in place of the heavy shocks, but they still stuck way out. Gradually, they were integrated into the body design, but the innards are about the same; a metal beam, a crushable core, and a somewhat flexible cover. Sometimes, the lights become part of the bumper, and that makes repairs more expensive. :smack: Just a 5 mph parking lot bump can cost you $1500 on some cars.
The point, as safety mavens will tell you, is that a crash crushes the bumper instead of the people inside.
