In that picture pkbites posted, it looks like the bumper badger hangs down low enough that covers the license plate. Isn’t that illegal? In addition to being ugly and really stupid looking, obviously.
And I applaud that. I just wish that there were some way that the bumper could be seen by society in general as a sacraficial component of the car, and not some finely crafted structure that must remain pristine.
My car is from the mid-80s and has a metal+rubber bumper. Were there subsequent changes in regulations that made the plastic bumpers (OK, bumper covers) necessary?
By the way, bumper protectors like these don’t look too ugly. Is there any reason why this may be a bad idea?
I don’t think any bumpers look ugly - a bumper is a bumper. It’s supposed to be a functional device on a car, not for looks.
No, they got right in front of these. NSFW
And those are the stupidest goddam things I have ever seen.
Why not just put up a bumper sticker that says
I THINK WITH MY BALLS BECAUSE I’M SO FUCKING STUPID!
Not necessary: feasible. If you look at cars from before the safety reqs went up – in the case of the USA to the 5mph bumper (pre-1971) --, some have bumpers that were little more than a chrome molding around the lower edge of the nose. When the requirement went up, you got substantial bumperage increase, often VERY obviously so (e.g. a Volvo 164 1971 vs a 1975) In 1982 the speed req for passenger-car bumpers in the USA was lowered to 2.5mph which meant that you no longer needed it to be quite so substantial and you could go artistic. Of course, what with the lead times for designs, the changes could not happen overnight, and very often the carmaker would wait for a periodic model redesign to switch over.
However, even in countries where the standard remained 5mph, or never changed to it, the evolution of manufacturing processes and design since the 70s had already conspired with cost, weight and aerodynamics (fuel efficiency) considerations to awaken carmakers to how after all, you do not really *need * the actual object that absorbs the force to be a finished body feature. The idea behind the bumper is that this object dissipate the standard-force impact before there’s any structural damage to the frame/body or unibody, or functional damage to the car’s systems (it’s not a passenger safety component). In older body-on-frame vehicles, this was often achieved by mounting the substantial finished bumper onto shock absorbing pistons or deforming crumplers and these in turn onto the sturdy frame rails. But it’s actually more cost-efficient to just make the bumper itself be a plain unfinished block or strip of enough crumplable material to do the job, and put on it a light aerodynamic fairing for fuel-efficiency and aesthetics.
Now, it used to be that many base models of cars would have a rubberized cover to the bumper, but then aesthetics came into play and the makers found out that the buyer, deprived of chrome, would much rather then have the continuous-body painted look than the bumper-car look. So they gave the people what they wanted…
In my experience, they just don’t do much.
My car (Subaru Outback) came with them. They didn’t seem to offer any real protection.
Then when my rear bumper had a nice hole punched in it by the winch hook of a Range Rover and I had to replace the whole rear bumper congomerate (she paid), I didn’t bother to have those replaced.
I donno, perhaps people should learn how to drive instead?
Well, that would be ideal, but since that doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon, I think the auto industry should get realistic about what actually happens on the roads (and in parking lots).
It’s basically impossible to park on the street in New York City without getting your bumpers a little banged up. And paying for parking costs more than an actual car.
Apparently you are supposed to spring out of the car, pop open the trunk, and flick this badger thingy down every time you park it. The aggravation alone would slay me.
ahem
Perhaps a weekly bath would help?
Tried that, but the beavers always point and laugh.
An update:
It looks like the free market is rushing to fill in the lucrative void that has been discovered by those brave souls who originated the Bumper Badger.
Now, I am seeing the “Bumper Bully” and the “De-Fender”
I guess 60 days is all it takes to rip off an idea, tool up some Oriental factory, send product through the Panama Canal, and get it to market in the U.S. God Bless Capitalism.
By the way, I really like the name “Bumper Bully.” Is there a big overlap between people who install this kind of device and people who picked on other kids when they were in elementary school?
No, silly. They give you a wedgie if you don’t buy one.
I use a real badgers to protect my bumpers. I keep one in the trunk and one under the hood.
Pointy, laughing beavers. Thanks oodles for that image. I most definitely will *not *be in my bunk.