I see more and more cars with a goofy looking rubber mat hanging out of the trunk with the title “bumper badger” on it. I gather that the purpose of the bumper badger is to keep people from scratching up your bumper when you park.
Ok, so why do you want to keep your bumper scratch-free? Aesthetics, right? Well guess what – a car looks a lot worse with a bumper badger than a couple scratchers.
Granted, all of society has accepted the idea that a car with a few dings and scratches is worth less – even if it runs perfectly well. So when it comes time to sell your car, you are better off for having used the bumper badger – since you can remove it when people come to look at the car.
However, the whole thing seems kind of silly to me.
Add to that car bras and plastic slip covers for furniture.
I can see trying to protect something when it’s not being used but what is the point of protecting something you will never see?
Well, on the plastic slipcovers, if you’ve got pets, children, or visitors who regularly throw up, spill food and drink, or otherwise wreak havoc on upholstered furniture, it makes sense to cover such expensive items with an impermeable barrier, as long as you then cover the plastic with an attractive and washable fabric slipcover or throw.
Actually, I just had a great idea. To deal with the problem of ugly bumper badgers, they could start selling designer bumper badgers that cost more but are aesthetically pleasing. Of course, the next problem is that if you park in the city, somebody might screw up your designer bumper badger. For that problem, you can get a meta-badger!
Car bras are for preventing rock chips. I think it’s a bad idea. First, you bought the car partly because it looked good. Then you cover up the beauty, and make it look like it’s ready to rob a bank. Second, by the time that thing jitters around at highway speed for a few hundred miles, it will leave a permanent mark on the paint. Third, how come they don’t make 'em in red lace?
Wow, I’ve never seen one of those before. Now that I know what they are, if there is one on a car parked in front of me, I’m going to be tempted to “use” it. Stupid, stupid idea.
