I Might Be Slow But I’m Ahead of You
RELAX (gee that’s not passive aggressive, like, at all! Probably more provocative, than anything, perhaps?)
Any variations of “Care - Child in Car” (does the driver think, what - “good, I shouldn’t get rear-ended/tailgaited now.” or “maybe they’ll just drive more gingerly behind me now.”:rolleyes: Me - I’ll just treat each driver on the road with the same amount of respect and caution as any other, thank-you very much, as all drivers should, obviously.)
Don’t Like My Driving? Call 1-800-FUCK-OFF
The yellow and black diamond with the goat crapping off the cliff.
The fish
Accessories:
trailer hitch balls
spoilers
lights underneath (hopefully a dying fad?)
a-wooga horns
blacked-out windows
low riders
fog-light racks
anything printed out in old english lettering.
trucks outfitted with coal-rolling goodness. (mainly a southern thing?)
those inbreds with coal-rolling diesel trucks should all be castrated. Also, people who put improper lamps into their headlights (e.g. HID capsules or garbage LEDs into headlights designed for halogens) and blind the hell out of everyone facing them.
apart from that, stuff like bumper stickers, truck nutz, proselytizing, confederate flags, etc. doesn’t “bother” me so much.
Those “family decals” they put on rear windows, make me uneasy when they spell out the names and sexes of all the kids. Although, the T-Rex eating the stick figure family is pretty funny.
Got that one. The truck officially died today, though, so - adieu.
Others I had on it:
I Have the Perfect Body, But It’s in the Trunk and Starting to Stink
a picture of the Bible with the phrase underneath saying “Jesus Dies on Page 681”.
Cleese/Palin 2008
To Err is Human. To Arr is Pirate
a photo of Walken with the phrase “You’re a Cantaloupe”.
I agree with all of these except for a few caveats…
I have seen some bad ass undercarriage lighting, but only as a package of a very well done car. But 90% of the ones I see are total garbage.
Same idea with rear wings. If the whole car is set up with serious racing gear, it’s pretty awesome. But again 90% of the ones the road are nothing but useless garbage.
Lookout Mountain, Chattanooga, Tennessee, has a tourist attraction called “Rock City.” Back in the '60s, when cars had actual bumpers, RC munchkins would go around the parking lot while you were visiting the park and attach, “See Rock City,” bumper stickers to your car. Now, these were thick cardboard placards, 8" x 24", with slots on the ends that they would slip metal strips into for hooking onto your bumper. No sticky bumper residue if you didn’t wish to advertise the joint.* Can you imagine? See Rock City was plastered on so many birdhouses, barn roofs and billboards all over the South, that you might think it was the official Motto of The South. Later, the bumper stickers were made smaller, had sticky backs and were shortened to just, “Rock City.” Narly? Nah. Now–you have to buy them. As if!
My Dad hung ours in the club-basement for I-don’t-know-how-long.
Not a bumper sticker, but a huge-ass decal (that runs the entire freaking length of a truck that I’ll be buying tomorrow touting the services of a chimney sweep) will have to be removed. I was told it’s vinyl and can be removed - not sure if I should take a hair-drier to it to heat it up, or what, never attempted that kinda thing, so if there’s any (hopefully not too derailing) advice on this - much appreciated.
You know those “Baby on Board” signs? In Bangkok, I saw one car with “Baby on the Board.” And not just a sign but painted right on the car’s body. In English. More funny than bothersome in this case.
I saw one just yesterday. A sticker that read, “Guilty Of Being White”.
I’m not sure what that means…
Don’t remember where I saw it, but there was one with a female adult and a couple kids over one the left side of the rear window and a male and female adult over on the right side. The female was labeled, “Dad’s Whore”.
Funny! Never saw that one before.
I was a little shocked the other day to see a car in a parking lot with several Confederate flag stickers. One of them had some writing on it, which in essence said, “I uphold the beliefs of the Confederacy”. No “history buff” sugarcoating at all.
Not bothersome but makes me smile. There is a Mom in town with dwarfism. Her husband and kids are average height. So on the back of her van is the family figures but none have bodies they’re just heads.
The ‘baby on board’ signs were big in the 1980s I think, then disappeared for a couple of decades before making their current comeback.
What I’ve always wondered is, suppose you see a “baby on board” sign on a car in a parking lot on a hot day, with the tinted windows rolled up so you can’t see inside at all well, and you know it’s got to be 150° inside the car, so if there really IS a baby on board, it’s either dead or needs to be rescued immediately. Are you justified in smashing a window to get in?
