No, not the order of mammals to which lemurs, apes, monkeys, and ourselves belong; I mean the Anglican archbishops and equivalents gathered in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania.
Summarizing, the assembled chief honchos of the national Anglican churches worldwide have decided that the U.S. Episcopal Church, which helped found the Anglican Communion as an institution 60 years ago, will be obliged to choose between two distasteful courses of action:
- Accept the following:
[ul][li]No more blessing of same-sex unions[/li][li]Disavow the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson and agree never to name another gay person to the clergy[/li][li]Accept a “primatial vicar” to be imitation-archbishop over seven dioceses that have a case of the ass about the above and about the Most Rev. Katherine Jefferts Schori being our presiding bishop (apparently having a penis is mandatory for being a primate in their view); or[/ul][/li]2. Face a state of “impaired communion” with the other national churches.
Memo to these pompous asses: The reason you have your jobs is that back in 1531 the Church of England decided that whose uncle had troops in Rome was not proper grounds for denying an annulment. The reason our church has St. Andrew’s Cross in its canton is that after the American Revolution, we refused to require our bishops to swear fealty to George III, sending our first bishop to Scotland instead.
Not a one of you has volunteered to surrender your autonomy – in fact, an asshole named Peter Akinola, styled Archbishop of Nigeria, who ought to be renamed Simon, thought nothing of expanding his personal empire by becoming bishop of some U.S. churches (in Virginia).
We’ve taken a stand that GBLT Christians are welcome in our churches, fully able to participate on equal footing with straights. Because that is what Jesus Christ said to do with your fellow man, and He never decided to restrict that to straight people.
It’s probably offensive as hell to say it, but the thought that comes to my mind is that when you gather a bunch of primates on an island off Africa, you should not be surprised when they start flinging shit around like this.
So what am I supposed to be giving up for Lent? My gay brothers and sisters? Or the Anglican Communion?
For shame, assholes. My only solace is that when you strut before the throne of judgment in your archiepiscopal robes, you will be judged as you have judged others. And you may not be happy with the results.
I would tell you all to go get fucked – but in view of of your attitudes, that would be just too ironic.