I pit the retard who was driving in the bike lane

The BBQ Pit
1

Hey bitch, yeah you in the shiny necklace and the silver Jaguar. What, you think that just because you drive a fancy car that you don’t need to obey traffic laws like the rest of us slobs? That just because that day had particularly horrendous traffic, you can just slide your ugly, misshapen ass over to the bike lane and just get ahead of everyone else?

You fucking wait your ass in the lane like the rest of us!!! I’m so fucking glad I saw your shit coming a mile away. I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt too, asshole. Maybe you were going to turn right and just used the bike lane to get up to the intersection. I’ve done that, that’s fine. I don’t see why we should have to wait until we’re 100 feet away from the intersection before doing that.

But then you get to the intersection and you don’t turn. WTF??? Ok ok, calm down, maybe its the next street, that section of street is only a few hundred feet, nothing to get upset over…

OH. NO. YOU. DID. NOT. JUST. KEEP. GOING.

That’s when I snapped.

Generally, I am a pretty mellow guy. I don’t get road rage. Road rage is for other people who think they’re too important to obey the rules of the road while violating all of it themselves. But this was a long day, I want to get home, I’m hungry, its hot, I just want to relax. You are NOT going to get past me bitch. NO FUCKING WAY am I going to let you get past me!

That’s why, when we both got to the next light, I decided to block you. Yeah, what are you going to do about it? Hit me? I’d like to see your prissy ass do anything to get a scratch on that Jaguar, dumb shit. I floored it when the light turned green just so I could get ahead of you. Then I moved my car halfway into the bike lane and drove as if you weren’t even there. Want to move forward? Want to take your comfy little bike lane all the way through? Fat chance, dipshit, now you’ve pissed me off and you’re going to stay behind me all the fucking way.

And you know what? I know what you look like now. I know what you’re driving. When I drive down that road again, I’m looking for you, and I’m going to do the same fucking thing over and over until you get it through your god damn head that you do not try that again, ever.

2

Careful, she might be a gun totin’ soccer mom.

3

But retards are funny.

4

No, they are not. They are, as a rule, kindly, caring people who may have been endowed with a less-than-normal degree of reasoning power, but who generally treat others with kindness, generosity, and, insofar as it’s in their power, courtesy. If more of the people who decide that the behavior and attitudes of others are their business could be magically endowed with the spirit that innervates the typical retarded person, the would would be a much nicer place.

To the OP: Sorry for the hijack. But that point needed making. And yes, people who behave as though they believe they are specially privileged can get anyone’s goat.

5

No, no, no. It’s nothing like that. It’s because she’s so clever. She’s the first person smart enough to think of using the bike lane in her car. You know you’da done it, too, if you’d thought of it. You’re just mad because you didn’t think of driving in the bike lane yourself.

6

In other words: in an ideal society, we would all be morons.

7

And funnier.

8

Been done.

9

While Jaguar lady never disrupted anyone else’s journey, you sir performed a hostile aggressive action for no other reason than she had more balls than you to take an opportunity that you wish you could take advantage of yourself.

The irony is that while you purport the reason for your outrage is her transgression of the law, your solution was to perform the very same transgression albeit half assed and with malicious intent.

Fuck, you need to grow up.

10

IMHO, saying that all retards are sweet and gentle is just as offensive as any other stereotype of retarded people.

11

Don’t forget stronger, too.

12

I drive that same road 5 days a week. Everyday it’s crowded. Yes, I have thought about taking the bike lane. Do think it takes some kind of special brain power to think that up, ass? I don’t do it because someday I might need it for an emergency or something, and getting home a mere 10-15 earlier isn’t going to change my life. She was the hostile one, and I simply blocked that bitch so she’d be in the same boat as everyone else.

I suppose if I went off and killed someone that you don’t know, you wouldn’t mind. You know, since it didn’t affect you :dubious:

I am damn glad that I transgressed the law to prevent her from doing it any more. Its called evening up the universe. You two are probably just pissed cause you wouldn’t have the balls to do something like this. You’re like the rest of the people in the road, whimpering to yourselves as dickheads like this try to jump ahead but without the spine to do anything about it.

13

He never said that. He’s mad because she’s self-important. Or are you trying to prove that retarded people can be dicks?

BTW, Yog, my first post was ironic.

14

So you’ve never seen the lady use the bile lane before? How do you know that lady wasn’t responding to an emergency ?

15

Plus, no need for two different Olympics.

16

Good thing that that isn’t what I said, then. (Check my post.)

17

If the OP had to drive in Panama I am sure his head would asplode. In traffic jams, people are constantly driving on the shoulder or anywhere else they possibly can in order to get ahead of other people.

One of the key rules here is, when crossing a one-way intersection, always look both ways.

18

Because the hospital was behind us.

She looks useless, if I may make a completely unsupported observation. The only reason she would need to go home quickly is if she needed to catch her husband in the act of cheating, something I would completely sympathize with him over.

19

What are you, retarded?

20

This thread is so gay.