Fat, stupid, lazy is the new black. Got it.
Oh, and “you can’t change your self-image, zero?” Well, no, you can’t change your self-image by asking people on a message board to blow sunshine up your ass. You can change your self-image by accomplishing something. That Down’s Syndrome kid at Burger King? How do you think he feels about his job? His paycheck? Making people smile at work, doing a good job, having his manager tell him what a good worker he is? I promise you, that kid has a fine self-image. He earns it.
Well this thread got earnest.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
Unpleasant tasks must not be shirked.
Thieves and other parasites suck.
‘From each according to ability’ is equally important as ‘to each according to need’.
(And rich people can be simply lucky, not better morally or blood-sucking capitalist thieves, just lucky.)
OTOH, anything not worth doing well should be avoided, which contradicts ‘unpleasant tasks must not be shirked’.
A ‘parasite’ to one might be a ‘person in need’ to another.
All obsessions, including one with one’s work, are unhealthy.
You know, you are right. Here’s the answer…put your head down and power through it. No one’s going to kill you, no one’s going to fire you (unless you act like they are persecuting you for telling you you did something wrong–or you don’t learn from your mistakes and you do it again), no one’s going to take your family away. NOTHING major is going to happen unless you make it happen.
I enjoy my job, but as I said in the other thread, I have to take shit. Almnost everyone does. You need to build up your tolerance for taking shit. If you can’t take shit, you are screwed in both work and private life which seems to be the case here.
That seems like a flip answer, but 6 billion people get up every morning and follow that advice. Most of them make it to the next day.
No-one is truly rational.
I stopped at the post office today to mail some bills and a couple of subpoenas. When I got there I was the only customer in the joint and no one really heard me come in. As I rounded the corner, there were two female employees one standing behind the other. The first one was step-dancing to a song softly playing on the radio. The second was egging her on just a little and smiling and laughing. I took in this scene for about 5 seconds before they saw me.
Of course, they were slightly embarrassed to be caught like that and sure, it was probably against regulation and all but I got smart, efficient service after that, which left me happier on the day. To me, THAT is work ethic. Not working like a slave from sun up to sun down for some faceless giant company or agency and dropping into your bed wrung out and miserable but despite working at aforementioned giant, having enough mental balance to enjoy and love what you do even if it’s not what you always wanted to do. Work ethic by and large is doing a good job, earning your money and keeping a good head on your shoulders. It means keeping one hand on the ladder for the company and one hand on the ladder for yourself and knowing when to get off the ladder. It’s putting in the work you’re paid for and leaving every day with if not satisfaction, then confidence you left your best work self there every day you work.
Me? I’m all about my work. I have to be. I’m on call 7x24 (barring vacations) and have a multitude of responsibilities in the public safety field. In general though, I work 0730 to 1800 (6pm) monday through friday, have plenty of vacation time and/or free time to attend cubs games or family events or whatever. The great part is that this is my choice and I love it. I’ve been at it for 19 years and will do it until the day I wake up on the wrong side of the sod. That’s not ethic though, that’s hyper-dedication. There’s a difference between what some consider ethic and what ethic actually is. Ethic is more than just showing up, it’s giving 100% for the time you DO spend, whether it’s an hour or 16.
What? There is satisfaction to be had in work. There is absolutely satisfaction to be had in being told you’re doing a good job, but only when you actually are. You know how they give all the kids in the league a trophy now? You think the kids don’t know the difference between a trophy they earned and one they didn’t?
Beware of Doug, what did your parents tell you when you were little and you came home complaining about having to do stupid crap in school like go to gym class? Because mine said, “In life, you have to do things you don’t want to.” And I HATED it when they told me that. It drove me absolutely crazy. But it’s like “life’s not fair” - I hated it because it was true and I didn’t want it to be true.
Have you ever planted a vegetable garden? I suggest it as a baby step. Seriously. If you’re too lazy to go out and till some earth, get a pot and put a tomato plant in it. Follow the directions on the tag. When you eat your own tomatoes, see if you don’t feel really good about them. See if that doesn’t make them taste better.
I think we will have legislated socialism and it will work. What is the current problem with socialism? If your production or work is not tied to you standard of living, i.e. you work hard, you get more stuff and more security, you have no incentive to work hard or produce quality goods. If there is no need to work hard because machines do it all, then you evolve to a utopian society where your needs are met and no one needs to produce. Now someone paid for the machines and owns them, so they’ll want to get paid. Therefore, the government will need to step in to prevent social unrest. One of the problems with this theory is how does the government get money to pay the machine owners and there is still the problem of the machines becoming sentient and making us their slaves, but I’m sure that will all work itself out.
I hate to hijack this thread, but I have a real problem with the whole “each according to his need” thing. So if you “need” more than what you are able to put in, who exactly is responsible for meeting your needs? And where does it end? Should I bust my ass so the Beware of Doug’s of the world can berate me about the manner in which I provide for his need? At which point do people like me have the right to tell people like him “fuck what you need”?
Doug, posters like you are the only reason I ever feel regret for having joined the SDMB. Sometimes I feel as though entitled, self-important losers come here, look around, and cry “This place needs my wisdom!” and then start busily typing as though doing us a favor.
You are pathetic. I do not hate you, for that would imply that somehow you earned my ire, and we both know you have accomplished nothing. You are pathetic because you lecture those who have walked the walk and talked the talk more than you could ever imagine, and you’re so self-important you are unable to see that. You are pathetic because you won’t take advice that is freely given and that, in all honesty, you dearly need to take. I wish no harm or ill fortune on you, because I know that every morning you must wake up and look around your life and see how empty it is, and that is more painful than anything anyone else could ever do to you. I think that, deep down inside, you know exactly what sort of man you are. I think a part of you knows there’s something wrong with who you are, but the bigger part of you is so self-centered that it makes you say anything to validate yourself.
Why not try volunteer work in the mean time? That’s what I did when I was unemployed? I recently lost my job (I job I really liked, too), and now I just may return in the meantime, while I’m looking. It really helped me out, as in it was something to put on my resume, it kept me busy, and it was something accomplish.
Yes, as most here know, I too live at home (financial reasons, sadly). I was unemployed for four fucking years, and then I finally found a job, and then I was laid off after two. But dammit, if I found a job then, I can find one again, and I’m damned well determined to do so. (Hopefully full time, this time around!)
I did some clerical and desk work at a local hospital. I loved it up there, I liked the people I worked with, and they were really sorry to see me go. Plus, it’s also a lead to finding a job.
When I DID have a job, it may not have been all fun all the time, but you know, I enjoyed it. I liked getting up, going into town, (especially in nice weather, when I could walk from downtown along the North Shore – the view is incredible!) I loved the people I worked with, and the customers who came in were really fun.
Let me ask you this – you surely do work at home, right? You clean up, do laundry, dishes, dust, vaccume, etc? Well, that’s work right there. I hate washing dishes, but I do it because I hate having dirty, crusty dishes that I can’t eat off of.
I’m also 30 and live at home, but right now, I’m determined to change that. For the time being, give volunteering a try. It’s not work, but if anything, maybe it’ll make you feel even better – because you’re actually helping someone else? (As corny as that sounds?)
(I know I’m not the best one to give advice, but think about it, people – if I could get a job, he could.)
Has anyone noticed that Elvis seems to have left the building?
Pro tip, because this is the pit: when you find yourself blathering on, in real life as well as–nay, especially–on the internet, about how you would hate someone, but for the fact that they have failed to “earn your ire,” and then you carry on for another full paragraph of high dudgeon, rest assured that you have become a blowhard.
If I didn’t have to work, I’d learn horticulture and plant a big vegetable garden. I’d give the vegetables away to group homes and food banks.
I would spend hours making pottery and working at it so that I got good enough to sell my wares. Any money I made, I’d give away to charity.
I’d hone my writing skills and take a stab at writing fiction. I would create characters with problems similar to mine, so that maybe I could see myself objectively and help others to understand me, and people like me, better.
I would practice my viola every day, for hours, so that I could be good enough to give free lessons to little kids and entertain people.
I would volunteer to do housework and run personal errands for people with physical disabilities or severe mental illnesses. Even if I reserved just one hour a week to do this, at least I’d be doing something for someone else.
I would start my own non-profit to create jobs for the mentally ill. I would pay organizations that need a regular supply of volunteers (like food banks, soup kitchens, Habitat for Humanity, etc.) to “hire” my clients to work a few hours a day. My clients would regain their self-esteem and be able to make some money, and the partner organizations would get paid for doing essentially nothing. For those clients who are too fragile to work, they could help me in my garden. Because doing something, even if it’s just picking tomatoes, does wonders for the troubled mind.
Or maybe I wouldn’t do any of these things and I just think I would. But man, think about how wonderful life would be if I could do just one of them.
Maybe he had to stay late at the office to get a report done, or else the boss would have his ass on a platter!
How to “deal with it.”
Get out of bed in the morning
Shower, get dressed - make yourself presentable.
Make a list of what you need to accomplish that day - if life is bad my list includes things like “eat breakfast. eat lunch. eat dinner. Get 20 minutes of exercise - preferably in sunlight. Do one load of laundry. Do dishes.”
Add to list things you want to do that day.
Spend day checking things off the list.
Go to bed.
Repeat in the morning.
When things get rough, take a moment to gather yourself, repeat “this too shall pass” or whatever you need to do to ‘deal with it’ and just keep moving forward as much as you can.
Yes, its robotic. But that is how you “deal with it” - you establish habits. You reinforce those habits. You get the minutiae of life taken care of. Most of life is stupid stuff - like feeding ourselves, making sure we have clean clothes (try having kids, the stupid stuff fills you day - and you get to add really fulfilling things to your day like ‘dance at 7pm’) - if you can’t get through the stupid stuff in a habitual fashion, you don’t have room to live your life.
I will attempt not to be hostile, but I am fascinated. What do you do all day that you find preferable to work? Please be honest. I am guessing it involves a lot of watching your ass grow and Married With Children reruns. I would lay odds on WOW and copious message board posting as well.
Does that give you a sense of self worth?
Developing a work ethic takes work. I work with a couple of very talented people who joined our company straight out of college. You could see them in the first couple of months coming to grips with the idea that they had to come in every single day. Even if they were hungover. Even if their friends were going on a roadtrip. They had to stay all day.
Most people start to develop real satisfaction at getting better at their jobs and learning new skills. When I started I hated what I was doing, but I also started to realize what I wished I was doing. I went out and studied a lot of boring stuff to earn the right to have a better job and to take on more interesting responsibilities. When you are a functioning adult that is how things go.
I don’t have a particular problem if someone is so rich that they don’t have to work, but I am not likely to respect them if they spend their time without making some mark on the world. That can be volunteer work or serious artistic work. Leeching from your parents to lay about on your ass is not a career.
I can back this up - my first job out of college felt like that for a while. You’re just not used to it yet. You think, I’ve been here since 8 and I still have five hours until I get to leave? It seems rough and then gets rougher when you look down the 45 year tunnel that you just got into. No end in sight.
But you know what? I dealt with it by doing it. I didn’t like it. But I did it and I succeeded. Some days I feel like I do much less work than I should because I actually enjoy being around my coworkers. They’re fun people and we have fun hanging out and working together. We talk about our lives, we talk about TV, movies, politics, music … all the things you talk about with your friends. We make fun of each other, we help each other out, we cover for each other. There’s nothing soulless about it.
And at the end of the day, I have money to support myself and my interests. Every day I leave for work and I tell my new kittens that I have to go to work so that they can live the good life. It’s only partly a joke.
But I really do feel like I’ve accomplished things in my career that I feel proud of. I’ve made a presentation to one of the top 10 richest people in the United States and convinced him that I could help him make more money. I designed a web page for my company that looked pretty snazzy at the time. I helped to design a page in an ad insert that you get in the Sunday paper. I’ve come up with an idea that seemed tiny but came out to millions of dollars. When the CEO does our quarterly investors meetings, he specifically quotes numbers I put together.
Sure, none of this is writing the great American novel or curing Polio, but the fact of the matter is that they made me feel good. And that’s all I can ask for at the end of the day.
Well, that and a paycheck so I can buy a new Xbox game.
I agree with this entirely. I don’t respect lay-abouts; most of the time I simply look down on them, but sometimes it pisses me off. Why? Because I believe there are genuinely ill people who can’t work, but most lay-abouts don’t work because they’re lazy, not because they’re ill. And it annoys me that some will use anything as an “excuse” when there are people out there who have to struggle every day just to feed their family.
Frankly, I get an enormous sense of satisfaction from working. Yes, some days are very hard. That’s life. But most of the time I enjoy my work and I feel good about putting my feet up at the end of the day and knowing I have done a hard day’s work.