I Pit the Work Ethic

The BBQ Pit
141

Yeah, I want to understand the OP. I don’t mean this to sound sarcastic, but does it almost feel like doing, (or specifically [for me at least] starting), work kind of “hurts”. I don’t mean physically, just when you KNOW you have to do something, (I’m sure you have **SOME **responsibilities that you can’t escape from), does it feel like your whole brain and body is fighting against it? Do you think you could change if there was maybe more incentive in your life? Like a girlfriend, or more friends? Maybe if you can work, and find something that counter balances that. People have talked about volunteering, or maybe you would like to find a group/club to join, maybe take some classes at school you wouldn’t otherwise take. Do you feel ill equipped for many/most jobs? Or feel if you pursued them that you wouldn’t be successful?

I know what it’s like only to work part time friend. It may be fun for a week, but if I could get past my nerves, I would much rather have an excuse to go out and keep busy than stay home and try and find something on the Internet to occupy my time, and hope I don’t have to resort to day-time TV. Work’s really not that bad. In fact, I come in early almost every day and leave late. It takes me longer than most people, but I try to make up for it by being on time and as prepared for the day as I can be.

As we speak I don’t HAVE to be up right now (5:50), but I am because I like getting to work and knowing how I’m going to start off the day. Are you sure you’re “lazy”, because sometimes it’s easier to admit that than it is that you’re afraid. Right now I’m afraid. When I get going with my day I’ll be better, but I feel that feeling in my stomach and chest right now. I do almost every work day I start, even if I don’t star until noon. Another problem I have is that I’m afraid to do anything ‘fun’ on work nights… like go out. I feel like it’s like hitting a brick wall when I wake up and have to worry about work.

When I went to school, I did well. Made three attempts to go back, but like you trying to fail your course, all I felt was frustration and no motivation. I had mostly art classes, and I was always the best in the class, because once I started on a project, it was never “finished”… because I dwell on things which makes it difficult to even start. I would have the worst panic attacks, and had once sabotaged my future in school by not showing up. My father caught me, and it was the worst lie I’ve ever told my parents. They are paying for me to go there and I just give up. After that in another attempt to go back, even my parents were worried about my mental well-being.

Where is the resistance coming from?

Sorry for the sloppy post, I have to go to work.

142

No, I think that he thinks the system is the problem (and I tend to agree with him.) Americans seem to be boxed into the mindset that they must be successful in order keep the machine chugging along. You have to get up. You have to go to work. You have to “keep up with the Joneses” so-to-speak. It’s oppressive. It’s depressing. I’m a depressive. Obviously!

I truly wish I was the type of person who just can’t wait to start their day and finds joy in the little things. Goes to work, cooks, cleans, takes care of themselves and their homes and families. Keeps up with the speed of American life. I find only anxiety and distress in those things. But I know that I have to keep trying to be ‘normal’ because there is no other alternative. To leave this life would cause agonizing grief to a few people and I can’t do that either.

Maybe we should start a commune, a new religion? Scientology? Where’s Tom Cruise when you need him? :wink:

143

I hope this makes sense

I have a moderately severe chronic mental illness + PTSD.
This sucks.
I am on a disability pension - something which I felt just added to my complete failure of a life. I felt I was a leech and I know for sure that a number of people agreed with me.
Recently I came to the conclusion that my life was unlivable - but instead of going down my usual suicidal path I decided to try something different. I hated my life and didn’t want to live that way any more so I got as much support as I could and started to work out what I could change to make myself and my life better. I’m calling the process I’m in my “life renovation”. No one can do this for me. I have to make the decisions and do the hard work (and changing you life is HARD work - habits are HARD to break)
A very important part of this self worth. If you don’t make any effort to participate and belong you just end up lonely and isolated. If you want people to respect you you have to do something worthy of respect (and man o man being respected does wonders for you self worth I’m the living proof).
Doing stuff for others I cannot recommend this more(I sing for my church, teach sewing to some kids, help my friends whenever they need it - I don’t have money but I have TIME to do stuff for others).
As for how i feel about being on a pension. One of my support people suggested I think about it as the government is employing me to live. They are paying me to keep healthy, live somewhere suitable and in best a condition I can manage (ie keep my home clean, bathe regularly, take my medication, be a member of my community ad infinitum)
I suppose my work ethic is doing everything - living my life to the best of my capabilities.
Even if it is hard
Even if I don’t like it
Even if I don’t like the people I have to deal with
It is HARD and sometimes I hate it but its working - finally something is working. Everything else I had tried (15 years of trying) did not work. No One came and saved me from myself, no magic medication that suddenly made my life wonderful, no going back in time and erasing my past, no amount of blame and anger and poor me-ing did anything until I decided to help myself.
Sorry about the sermon
I have not succeeded in everything I have attempted. I still have abysmal and harmful habits. I’m sure as hell not “cured” but my life is a bit better now. I may never be able to hold down a regular job but I can still contribute - just in different ways.

Work ethic = being a contributor.

I dunno if that made sense or not but I hope it gives you something to think about.

144

It does to me. It sounds like you have some serious issues, but you are *choosing *to do your utmost to contribute. You are getting up every day and doing what you can, even though you have disabilities that might justify you doing nothing.

I respect that enormously.

145

These days, it seems to me that it’s the poor who get to spend all their time vomiting while I have to toil away in the cube mines. :frowning:

146

It’s both, depending on your skill set. The point a lot of the posters are making is that work isn’t just “work”. It’s accomplishment, freedom, friendship, security, education, boredom, aggravation, failure, etc. It is as much a part of my life as the “personal” aspects of my life. It just is. I don’t need to compartmentalize it into this area of my existence that is separate from the rest of me. I don’t particularly like my job. That is, I’d rather be doing something I really love to do than to do something that just pays the bills.

That said, I’ve made friends all over the world, hear some funny jokes, and have learned something. I could do all those things without the job, but they don’t pay nearly as well as when I do it while I’m on the clock.

147

Back then, even if he were part of a wealthy family, there would be activities that he would be expected to undertake for the good of the family or society, whether it would be serving in politics or starting a family of his own. The OP has gotten hung up on the idea of work ethic, but meaningful relationships also seem to be a problem.

148

I feel your pain, but your pain doesn’t make you special.

You know what I woke up to on Tuesday morning? My thoughts yelling at me “monstro is dead. monstro is dying.” An infinite loop of that all day, coupled with bizarre body movements and freezing and verbigeration. All day of that, man. All fucking day. I go to work and people can tell something’s wrong, and all I can do is tell them that I’m not feeling well. Because you can’t tell people that you’re catatonic. Hell, I can’t even tell myself that even though it’s staring at me right in the face.

I struggled through Tuesday and half the day yesterday, because we had staff meeting and I was on the agenda. I bailed out after lunch and went to see the neurologist. Hoping–praying–I could get a diagnosis and perhaps a prescription so that I can regain my ability to walk without freezing and my hands can unclench themselves. But no. I just got another crappy referral. It will be weeks before I can get relief from the fucking voices in my head. Voices telling me that I’m dead, that I’m dying, over and over and over. How am I supposed to work with that going on in the background?

Unlike you, I don’t have friends who I can talk to. I have a loving family, but I don’t want to bum them out over this. So when I talk to them, I put on yet another act of happiness and wellness. Sometimes I half-way believe myself. The tears I’m shedding right now are the first I’ve cried in a very long time.

But I keep trucking, man. I’m about to leave for work right now, despite everything, because I sincerely believe I have no other choice.

Your pain doesn’t make you special.

149

Well, you tell us. What is it you think society owes people like you and Beware of Doug? A lot of people find their work boring, demeaning or unfulfilling. Should they also be allowed to “opt out”? And if so, who should do those jobs that need doing?

You ask whether you should “off yourself”. While your probably shouldn’t, what exactly is the purpose of your existence?

150

How to deal with it? There are millions if not billions of people that would love the life you lead, crap job or not. Don’t deal with it, appreciate it.

151

Doug’s rant seems to be “I’m unhappy, not content and a loser…But you guys are WORSE. At least I don’t participate in the stupid shit the rest of you drones participate in.”

152

I agree with you. Anyone who has been clinically depressed knows that sometimes you just can’t snap out of it. Some people can’t function in our world. As a society, we accept this. We help those who can’t help themselves. BoD has a family who helps him, but if he didn’t, society would kick in and care for him. That’s how it works. I realize it’s in direct conflict with The Work Ethic, but there you have it — an exception to the rule.

153

I’d guess that most people here would have little problem with the OP’s lifestyle if he had not not expressed his problem with theirs. In other words - hey, he started.

154

I don’t see that at all. Can you point out how you came to that conclusion?

155

Life is complex. A couple points:

Not all people are the same. There absolutely are people out there who are stuck doing something they hate, think (rightly or wrongly) they have no other option if they want to eat, and are completely miserable because of that. Slogging along and forcing themselves to get out of bed every morning and taking one day at a time is how they cope. On the other hand, there are people who love what they do and would probably do it even if they didn’t get paid, just because they love what they do. Most of us, I warrant, fall somewhere between the two.

Second point is that a job or career isn’t (usually) one simple task you can rate on a scale of one to ten that you deal with for forty years. A job entails a whole series of tasks and responsibilities, some of which you might like, some of which you might dislike. And, more to the point, a career involves multiple stages some of which might be less appealing than others but (here’s the point) you go through the stages because the later payoff is worth it. Wanna be a doctor? Gotta go through med school and be an intern, and even if you hate it you suck it up because you’d love to be a doctor. Wanna be a staff seargent? Gotta go through basic training and PFC gruntwork, and even if you hate it you suck it up because you’d love to be a staff seargent. Wanna teach at a university? Gotta get a PhD, and even if you hate it you suck it up because you’d love teach.

Point is, most everyone has to work, and most everyone has things they like to work at. With some planning and only a little luck, you get those two to coincide as closely as possible. But it’s a continuum, and you try to write as much of your ticket as you can.

Is this a serious question? If so, then yes, less poo-flinging makes you seem like less of an angry self-pitying bozo. Asking honest questions might indeed make some people think less of you. Descending into a poo-flinging tantrum will make everyone think less of you.

And, to be blunt, I think at least some of your “questions” had a fair amount of “poo-flinging” mixed in. Don’t be surprised when people respond to the latter more strongly than the former.

156

I feel you pain back. But don’t call me “special.” I don’t know what it means where you come from, but in the midwest it is a high insult. It means “here’s someone who wants to do their own thing, or doesn’t want to do our thing, and that is an insult to us.” Is that what it means to you?

You sincerely believe you have no other choice, but you don’t say why. Is not asking why part of what helps you get through? Is not wanting to be “special?”

Seriously now. I had a phy ed teacher in school who used it really, really sarcastically, just this close to taunting, except he wasn’t at all trying to be funny. He believed in not being special.

157

Only big time. :wink:

158

Well, I think that’s her point…that you’re not special. That what you’re feeling isn’t unique, and you’re not having some great insight. What you’re feeling is what everyone else feels sometimes, and it’s what monstro feels right now. But she believes she doesn’t have any choice, because she doesn’t. She has to make money so she can afford food and rent and doctors visits, and all that other fun stuff.

That’s part of the work ethic too…realizing that working, as bad as it can be sometimes, is better than starving to death.

159

Dup. post

160

Everybody always told me that. I never understood it. I still don’t. Nothing is guaranteed, after all.

I know part of the work ethic is being able to delay rewards, but at a certain point, for some of us, the reward is worth less because of the price of getting there.

I hear all this stuff about how great it is to have to work harder for something because you appreciate it more, but that right there implies that you’re going through the stages for themselves - not just for the payoff.

And then a lot of the time they don’t tell you what is so great about the stages. Just the payoff.

Is this just a contradiction you have to accept - or something you need to kmnow intuitively - to be considered a person of “character”?